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Why do women want to get married? As a woman, I don’t grasp it myself and certainly could never see getting married before I’m 25 or how it would be important.
Guess what is so cool? You don’t have to get married! Just make sure you don’t make flippant comments without thinking about the repercussions of them. Men will hear your mantra of not wanting to get married, and if at age 25 you all of a sudden decide to change your mind, your past words will probably still ring in the ears of some guys who might be too scared to ask you out.
One of my friends who values her singleness and independence recently said, “If I live a life of singleness, I want it to be because God chose it for me and not because I chose it for myself.”
Sometimes our desire for singleness can be rooted in control or fear. I think it’s important to invite God into that conversation of why we feel so strongly about singleness and marriage—positive or negative feelings.
I hope you are being honest with yourself. For me, I want to get married for a number of reasons, like…
I want the intimacy of being loved by one man. I want to have a father for my children. I hope to be known and believed in and realize I have a partner and an advocate who I can call husband. I want to believe in someone and be his advocate and be called his wife. And, unless one of us dies or he chooses to leave me, I plan to grow old with my husband. It won’t be perfect, but I think it will be pretty darn cool.
Before you write marriage off as “unimportant,” I would encourage you to make a list of reasons why it might be valuable. It might surprise you that it isn’t just women who want to get married. Quite a few men desire it as well. Talk to them—see why they have a longing to enter into this lifelong union. It might give you a broader perspective and a more open mind.
Again, the beautiful thing is that you are free to do whatever you want. I don’t know what is in store for you, but an attitude shift might be a good starting point for you since there are a lot of people who do see marriage as important.
From my matronly heart,
Why do you want to get married – or NOT get married?
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.