Stay Connected
Don't leave just yet. Besides these articles, sometimes I send out extra special stuff. Don't miss out. Sign up here.
Watch the intro to find out what this is all about: RSOTU Intro (1 of 15)
Women: Are you aware of your facial expressions? One of the things my father recommends is for women during a fight to go look at their faces a mirror and ask themselves, “Does anyone else look at him this way?”
Men: I know that I feel more loved and known in a relationship if a guy figures out what I want or need without me having to tell him. What I am picking up is that you are more comfortable getting to know me and meeting my needs if I just cut out the guessing game? How can women do that without seeming demanding?
Stay Connected
Don't leave just yet. Besides these articles, sometimes I send out extra special stuff. Don't miss out. Sign up here.
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.
Was that rehersal or did your editor bust you on cell phone distracted listening? Cell phone manners and common courtesy is something that needs to be imbedded when it comes to respect too. I am a little “corn”fused from the video…Did Chris say “you have to earn that respect”??? Isn’t the goal to incorporate respect unconditionally in our daily interactions? Isn’t that how culturally we might to begin transforming the future generations by walking in unconditional Love and Respect? Or is this discussion for married/in a relationship couples? ( I’m referring to your post re:sharing computers..don’t you think sharing and respect needs to be practiced before marraige too?)
Re: facial expressions I need to review your dads specifics on this..there is a medium range between drama theatre person and the expressionless flat-affect robot. In the mirror we must become aware of this range…For me, exhibiting mixed signals is a concern. My desire is to be true and transparent. To be really hot under the collar and have your poker face like nothing bothers u, creates confusion! Respectful facial expressions (i.e like not rolling your eyes)helps not to escalate a hot situation or difficult discussion. Let’s give enough grace that your face and feelings can be in unity. Sarcasim and bitterness may be the root of disrespectful facial expressions. Holywood thinks sarcasm is really funny and TV programing really promotes it…we need to guard against the facial expressions that look like blatant disregard-drive bys-arrogance when it comes to meaningful relationships.
Lisa –
– we were being silly with the cell phone thing.
– chris said “earn respect” from a conversation we were having earlier that didn’t make the cut. The reality is that there are different contexts for respect.
As Christians we are called to be kind and respect everyone. In marriage we are to show this same kind of unconditional respect but in dating you have a little bit of a different scenario going on. There is no ground for a woman to be “dis” respectful, but just as a woman would feel “I love you” is cheapened if it was said on the first date when the guy didn’t even know her that well, so to, a guy wouldn’t want a false sense of admiration, honor or respect shown without knowing him. He doesn’t want her to be mean to him but he also doesn’t want her to act like he is something he’s not.
Hope that makes sense.
I know this question was for the men, but I think the thing with telling a man clearly what you want and expect is if he doesn’t do it afterwards. At least when you are dropping subtle hints and he doesn’t get it, you can blame him not getting the hints. But when I specifically say “ok, this is what i want you to do so I feel loved and known in this relationship” (it seems i don’t have an issue with sounding demanding) and he doesn’t do it, then its easy to surmise, correctly or incorrectly, that he just doesn’t care, and that can be quite confronting. Guessing games help create an excuse for something we might not want to learn.
pkphinfan thinks...
A to Men Q: Old trick…ask the question you want to have asked of you. Example: What are some things you might like to do on a Sat night? Who would you like to have dinner with? What are your favorite parts of my dad’s books?
Guys aren’t so creative. It’s almost unfair that they feel compelled to have you answer interesting questions that you pose.
| at |