Hi Joy,
I have a question about the delineation between dependence and assistance. For me, I have always done better when I have a romantic relationship to motivate (inspire?) me to do better.
Joy,
I’ve got a bit of a situation—I’ve gone out on several dates with someone, but I’m essentially just not attracted to them for a few reasons. How do I tell them nicely? Especially when they are so into me? Do people want to hear the truth? I am not sure I know how to let this person down gracefully AND to the point that they understand it is a no-go.
—Beth
Welcome to 2014!
14 is my favorite number so I’m thinking there’s gonna be a lot of…I don’t know what, but I’m just happy about 14 representing.
Lately my siblings and I have really been feeling neglected and unloved by our parents. When we’ve asked other people whether or not to confront them about it, everyone has said, “No. You have to honor your parents.”
Can you confront your parents? Read more
I’m writing on behalf of my sister. She’s been in a serious relationship for about a year, but she’s paralyzed by the fear of getting married as a result of growing up in a divorced home. What can I say to my sister to calm her down and help her overcome her anxiety?
Joy,
I used to be on pins and needles waiting to get married. Every interaction I had with a single person was weighted with, “Is this the ONE?”
But now it’s changed. Read more
I just started dating this wonderful woman—I really care about her, and love the heart she has for having a family someday. Problem is, we just started dating, and because I have to travel a lot for my career, I just left the country for a couple of months.
Hi Joy,
I’ve recently gotten married. I love being married, but now my single friends are leaving me out. My best friend, for example, no longer calls when she goes camping or to a concert.
I know I can’t go out as much as my “free-wheeling” single friends, as I’m balancing school and my husband, but I don’t want to feel like there’s this divide growing between us.
Hey Joy,
I recently met someone. Bummer is, one of us is moving twenty hours away. We have had several discussions about giving this a chance or not.
We are taking that chance!
Hi Joy,
Most of the time, I hear “respect” talked about as if it’s primarily a man’s thing. But, respect is really important to me, as a woman–I know this because of the inner temper-tantrum I feel whenever I feel disrespected. I don’t just mean respect in a sexual sense (in fact, that’s the least of my worries). I crave respect as an adult, as a professional and as a Christian. Read more
Hi Joy,
I watched your video about leading people on. At first I thought, “Oh! I am free and clear. I never lead anyone on…ever. They just take my friendliness out of context.” Then I realized my behavior hasn’t been just friendly. I have been the textbook definition of a tease and now I don’t know what to do. So my question is: how do you dig yourself out once you’ve led someone on?
Hi Joy,
I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase, “Just give it a chance,” about dating people who you’re not interested in. Friends and family say it to me all the time. On more than one occasion, I’ve taken their advice…and it usually ends with me firing these friends from their self-appointed job as matchmaker. Can you help me come up with a snappy comeback for the next time someone tells me this?
How do I deal with the anger I’m feeling over a broken heart? My last relationship ended after I took a stand against some things I felt convicted about. But, now I just feel like such a fool. I’ve already built up some major walls against men in general and the poor guy I date next is going to have to scale them all. If my previous relationships are any indication of what marriage is going to be like, I want nothing to do with it. Help!
Hey, Joy!
I just finished reading “Love & Respect”—I am a single woman who has been broken up from a significant other for a year. We were talking of marriage before the break up. In the relationship, I thought he was being a little too sensitive the times when he’d ask me to sit with him and watch a movie that I had absolutely no interest in watching, so I would refuse, or when he would want me to sit in his kitchen with him and watch him cook, though I preferred to watch television instead. Sometimes I gave in, but other times, when I refused, he would get quiet on me and not talk to me. Read more
I had a fight with my husband tonight and I’m at a total loss for knowing what to do now. Essentially, what happened was this…He’s much better with computers than I am so I asked him for help with an issue I was having with ours. After giving me his advice, I asked him if he was sure and then continued with more clarifying questions. He got really annoyed and shot back, “It’s simple enough for a 3rd grader to do.” So, then I shot back with some remarks, including a parallel to the way his father is–which didn’t go over so well. In the end, he said, “You’re always right. I’m always wrong,” and then he just shut down. This always happens when we argue. So, what do I do? Read more
Joy,
I have an Ask Joy question for you. Can you do a blog post about guys that actually step up and clearly ask girls out (via the phone), pick them up, open the car door, pay for everything, drop them off, walk them to the door, call a few days later to go on a second date….and then the girls tell their friends they aren’t sure if it was a date or not? We have a spreading disease in my city. Read more
My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and 3 months. He says he’s committed to me, but he won’t say he loves me, even though he wants to. He was in a previous relationship for 6 years so I understand he wants to be cautious and take it slow. But, c’mon…if he says he wants to say it but doesn’t say it, doesn’t that mean he doesn’t love me? Read more
Hi, Joy!
My girlfriend and I have been in each other’s lives for four years. We dated my senior year in high school, dated for two years, and then broke up. Later, after we broke up, she became a follower of Christ and being agnostic myself was interested in her faith. I started going to church with her and after a couple months I accepted Christ too. After awhile we started dating again and it’s been almost a year.
We attended a Love and Respect conference in Chicago 5 years ago and it changed our lives. It gave us the tools to make our great marriage even better.
Now, we’re planning to go through the Love and Respect DVD series with our young adult Bible study and we’d like your advice on how to best lead it when there are people in all seasons of life in the group–single, dating, engaged, and married.
If you are a female that shuts down [in conflict], what would be practical advice or a step to take to head towards healing? Read more
Why are women so materialistic and only want to date guys with nice cars? Read more
How important is it that we agree politically? Read more
My father wrote a book called Love and Respect, based on Ephesians 5:33, which says, “Let each of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Many women often ask me, “What does respect look like?” Many men say they don’t know how to articulate what respect looks like to them. From personal experience, I’ve come to realize that many of us have really unhealthy ideas of what respecting a man or needing respect looks like. Read more
10