WHAT?! You haven’t met my parents?! A few things to note: Emerson and Sarah only wear black, they’ve been married 40+ years, and when they met, my mother thought my dad was funny looking, dressed weird and wasn’t funny at all. Oh, and they started Love and Respect. Read more
Gabe and Rebekah Lyons are a power couple. They are people who get ISH done. Join me for a conversation with them that ended as though it had only just begun.
(Well, technically, it did. They left me so their kids wouldn’t be the last ones picked up from gymnastics class. Whatever!) Read more
You didn’t know I spoke German, did you? Yes, I took two long years of it in high school and my last name is German, loud and proud. If you didn’t know, “Was ist das?” translates to “What is that?”
And “eins, zwei, drei” is “one, two, three.” But now we are totally getting off topic. Read more
Hey Joy,
My husband and I just heard the Love and Respect message. Now, whenever we get into conflict, he shuts me down by saying, “You’re being disrespectful.”
How am I supposed to bring something up to him if this is always his response to conflict?
Read more
No, wait, let me start that over.
There’s a priest, a pastor and a rabbi…
Wait, no, this is how it goes. Read more
Hey Friends,
I wanted to tell you something.
If you have been part of the Love and Respect Now community for a while, you might remember a little over a year ago when I announced I was getting married. Then I said I was kidding, and told you I was having a baby. After making you adequately annoyed by my endless string of lies, I told you I had just signed a book contract, and then proceeded to dance around my cemetery to Disney tunes like a fool. Read more
Are you loving Normie as much as I am?
In this episode we opened with us reliving the time I was trying to be HI-LAR-IOUS, and gave myself third degree burns.
And then things got real. Read more
Does this guy look new to you? Make sure you check out the first and second Tuesday with Normie. If you already know him, you can check out the next episode HERE.
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I’m not one for writing post with lists like, “5 Ways To Become a Broadway Singer.” Truly. I was honored to know that even Christianity Today noticed I’m not a big list-writer. (They also called me a “Relationship Maven,” so obviously they didn’t call any of my exes as references.)
But the way things shook out in today’s chat with Dr. Norm Thiesen all boiled down to two great questions. Read more
Hey Joy,
I recently watched the video “Fear and the Tick-Tock of my Girlfriend’s Baby Clock,” where you mentioned not playing savior for the person you’re in a relationship with. I feel like I dropped the ball on this one with my first girlfriend, because when we broke up she told me I was smothering her. If I ever date again, how do I find the balance of being best boyfriend without playing savior in the relationship? Read more
This time I am talking to Dr. Norm Thiesen about a shift in our generation–how we’ve moved towards being so “honest” about marriage being hard that we forget to talk about its benefits.
Because unmarried people keep hearing the horror stories instead of the stories of success, it feels to me like one more contributor to the growing delay of marriage. Read more
Hey Friends!
So I asked a bunch of you what question you would want to ask your father, or something you appreciated about your pops. Ironically many of the responses came from people whose fathers had passed away.
I realized that sometimes it’s not until we have lost someone that we start to reflect on the things we really felt or wanted to say.
Hey Joy,
Women [in westernized societies] are becoming more educated than men. How is that going to impact the future of marriages?
– Jonathan
Hi Friends!
Just in case you missed it, I’m going to start hanging out with ya’ll!
My father and I recently had our Google+ hangout sesh numero dos. My lovely mother couldn’t sit down to join us because she was busy filling Easter eggs… excuses excuses.
Hey Men (and ladies like me who can’t remember holidays besides Christmas and our own birthday),
Last night I overheard a conversation between my mother and brother about how Jeff Tweedy strengthened their relationship. If you don’t know who Mr. Tweedy is, he’s the lead singer of the band Wilco. If you don’t know who Wilco is, then you should probably change that fact.
I often speak about the power a daughter can have when writing a respect card to her father. So, a couple of years ago, I had my Mommacita share some ideas of how to write a simple, but meaningful, letter to your mom (that would be far more valuable than flowers).
Do men and women really process words differently?
“Joy, it’s not men vs. women, but just people who process and hear things differently.”
I don’t want to argue, I just want to share some enlightening tidbits I learned from asking a few good men what they would love women to know…
Hi Joy,
After dating my boyfriend for a significant amount of time, he says he loves me and can’t imagine his life without me, but can’t find the words to say he wants to marry me.
I feel like this should be a no-brainer. Am I being crazy for wanting him to fish or cut bait, or do I need to respect his needs and timing?
Hi Joy,
I have a dude friend who I really respect and appreciate, but who often complains about how lonely he is and how “all women suck.” It’s really frustrating to hear over and over again, but I’m not sure how to approach him. If I confront him at all he gets defensive.
On one hand, I can understand that he’s coming from a place of hurt and pain. On the other hand, I hate to hear him putting females down and not taking responsibility for his own actions. I really want to be respectful towards him, but every attempt seems to fail! Helpppp!
Hi Joy,
For the first half of my marriage I hadn’t read the Love and Respect book.
Now, the book has completely transformed the way I treat my husband and has made our marriage so much better. He is a great father and very funny— I even feel I have more than I could ask for in some regards.
At the same time, he tends to struggle at meeting my needs emotionally.
Hi Joy,
My husband and I have been married for three years and love each other very much, but it really bothers me when people talk up the honeymoon stage. I feel like our marriage has been difficult ever since day one and not only is the honeymoon stage over, it never really began. We feel like we got gypped.
Is this normal?
I remember first reading Deborah Tannen’s research in college. It opened my eyes to many of the incredible strengths—and therefore weaknesses—we as human beings have when it comes to communication and understanding each other.
So much of the gender differences she highlighted were things I could see in many of my male peers and in the couples that I would watch (in a creepy way, of course). Read more
Hi Joy,
I’ve recently gotten engaged to a man I met online. My fiancé lives and runs his own start-up in San Diego, and when we get married I’ll be moving from my home in Los Angeles to be with him. Read more
Hey Joy,
I just got out of a pretty serious relationship. My boyfriend and I had been dating for a while, even both saying, “I love you”—until one day he came to me and said, “I don’t love you anymore.” I haven’t heard from him since. Read more
Hey Joy,
I’m 22 and have my first girlfriend. She’s pretty amazing—except once a month, she has severe PMS that causes her to go a little cuckoo. I didn’t grow up with sisters or any close girlfriends, so I don’t have any experience handling these swings—it’s the core of our conflicts, and I don’t know what to do anymore. My girlfriend recognizes this issue, and doesn’t want to be this way, but she just has these severe symptoms.
This is going to keep happening every single month. What can I do? Is there hope?
My best friend currently lives in another state. We’re both married, and though we’ve visited and have done stuff as couples, my best friend wants me to come visit for some “girl time.” When I asked my husband if I could go, he flipped out and shut down, saying, “You want to go without me? Fine. Go right now.”
Hey friendlings!
Today I’m comin’ at you from the sunny suburbs because finally, finally, I got visitation rights to see Walter, my long-lost dog love. Unfortunately, he won’t stop hiding under the table.
I think that means he missed me. Read more
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