“Some worship music is like spiritual masturbation for women.”
“Did she just say…”
“Yeah, I think she did.”
My friend Matty and I were thrown off guard during a lunch-time lecture at Regent College a couple summers ago, when a woman who seemed far too old to be using such language did just that.
Her point made sense.
She went on to explain that songs that say things like “I am so in love with you Jesus” could
a. be uncomfortable for men.
b. create God into an imaginary lover.
I get it. I see how this kind of thing evolves.
“God won’t let you down.”
“God will fulfill all of your longings and desires.”
“God is the only man you need.”
“You are the bride of heaven.”
Ok, in balance these things can apply, but I fear that
a. again, not very appealing for men.
b. it only encompasses one side of God.
If I idealize God as my lover and caretaker and the one who will never hurt me, isn’t that a lot safer than trusting a human to also be my lover and caretaker on earth? And what if this “lover” of a God asks me to do something hard, like go through cancer or lose a child, or stick it out in a job I hate? What then? Has my lover failed me?
Christ says for us to take up our cross and follow him.
If I have created God as my lover to have only feelings of love and security then I have simply reduced Christ to the perfect MAN and not a King.
Will I break up with him when unexpected and unexplained suffering comes to me in this broken world?
How does the language Christians use affect how you see Christ? (I know I made some general assumptions based on my opinion and what some men and women have said to me.)
And on a final note: Please try to keep all gag reflexes to a minimum when you observe this photo that I came across. Holy GQ Jesus. Is he caressing the small of her back?
That is just weird.
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.
From My Heart
All of the Love and Respect Now Posts…In One Place!
Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs on Marriage, Parenting, Family of Origin, Work & Death
Fighting for Love (and Other Potentially Hazardous Cliches)
dude. jesus is DEFINITELY going for an ass grab.
Re: your question:
I really don't like 'churchy' verbiage. If God is real and active and (to use a buzzword) "relevant" in our lives, we should need to use weird terms that outsiders don't understand — like we're some kind of closed-door cult only for the initiated. It also helps me to think through what something means when I'm not pulling a well-worn Christian cliché out of my pocket.
For instance, what does it mean to "give your testimony?" Is this phrase ever used as such in scripture? Is it somehow more appropriate to tell the story of your salvation vs. testify to God's work in your life since then?
seriously, i love you!! this post is fabulous. i couldn't agree with you more. understanding god as a lover is imperative, but it is not his only side… we must know him as a father, a friend, and a protector. and something we don't talk about often is understanding and fearing god… we don't typically fear lovers (unless in unhealthy situations), and therefore only seeing god as a lover, we lose the element of fearing him above man. it is an issue that i am learning is so incredibly vital to his power and my trusting him fully.
Joy,
Great post. We touched on this a bit this morning in lecture here at L'Abri, about the "Jesus is my boyfriend" theology. Funny stuff to talk about when it goes to far, yet a sad reality that it exists as well. Thanks for spelling this out in a very succinct and clear way.
By the way, "I love you Jesus" weirds me out.
Sharon,
You make an excellent point about thinking through what we say. In general we should do this, whether in regard to "church language" or slang, or swearing, or politics… We should be more selective in some cases and more liberal in others. The bottom line is, we should be more intentional.
But as far as deconstructing and in turn abandoning the language patterns of our particular subcultures is, first of all, impossible. But more importantly, I don't think it's either necessary or beneficial. And I think trying to abandon church-speak entirely is more damaging than helpful. It's the whole baby-bathwater thing.
Pruning language is one thing, postmodern decontructionism is another. What I think we want, to get back to the premise of the original post, is to be truly post-modern. To orient our language away from marketing and feelings-fettered faith by reorienting it toward—as you pointed out—thoughtfulness: redemption/resurrection-oriented reflection, meditation, intentionality, which guides and graces all things: our thought-full beliefs, words, actions.
Joy,
"Will I break up with him when unexpected and unexplained suffering comes to me in this broken world?"
That's the rub I think. And we see teenagers and 20-somethings, both men and women alike, doing this in droves as a result of such (and similar) narrow, limited, even just plain bad theology.
Friend, I really appreciate this post, as it something I've been thinking about a lot myself. Thanks for going there.
Funny thing, I've always felt comfortable saying "I love God" but am somehow less comfortable with "I love Jesus." Psychoanalyze me if you want but I do think gender comes into play here.
Renea Mac, absolutely true. 🙂 Postmodern deconstructionism would make the words have no meaning, reducing concepts to only that which I can grasp. Not the nature of the gospel.
At the same time, when the gospel is introduced to a new culture (as by missionaries), rather than transliterating scriptural phrases, they seek words in the new language that have the same meaning. They want to express the concepts in a way that the natives can understand.
Our culture is presently post-Christian, and I think it's important to recognize that. We use words and phrases that come from a *translation* of the Bible, and we need to ask ourselves — are the words we're using still the best translation of scriptural ideas for the natives around us?
so, while in church, and guys are totally into the song…does it creep you out…thanks for adding one more thing to keep my mind distracted in church.
I hear where you’re coming from, and I agree that the language is hard for guys to relate to. At the same time, I think some of the language, lyrics, etc. points to a very real picture/image of the emotional intimacy of the relationship that the God-head desires with each of us (Song of Solomon, all the many many times Jesus and God (through the prophets) woo Israel and mourn when they reject a relationship with Him). We are the bride of Christ–adopted sons and daughters (we gentiles have been grafted into God’s family with all the promises and blessings that come with it!)–and while I struggle to get my mind around that and use some of those emotionally intimate terms, the reality of the truth declares that one of the reasons God gave us (instituted) marriage (and all the emotions, desires that come with it), is to mirror His desire for us and covenant relationship with us. I’m still working on this myself, but I do believe that we were created for relationship–first with God (greatest commandment) and then with others (2nd greatest). In a nutshell, we were created to be loved extravagantly by God. (Rom 5:6-8)
Check out this blog post to read more of my thoughts along these lines:
http://www.chriszitzmann.com/site/Blog/Entries/2010/12/7_Created_For_Love.html
I do agree that there are dangers in romanticizing our relationship with God to the point where 1) we don’t feel the need for any human relationships or 2) we do not have a proper fear of God. The justice of God is equally as much a part of His character as His love, and in general, it does seem that our churches (and pop Christian/worship music) emphasize His love much more than His justice. As someone mentioned above, this along with the “prosperity” idea that “God will always bless me” is just plain bad theology. It’s not what the Bible says–it’s not the whole truth put into the context of the story of scripture.
Chris
I definitely see this trend. I’ve even heard of women who “date Jesus” during seasons of singleness as a way to be content in such a season while waiting for a relationship. Weird, definitely. But not all bad. I think I need to see a list of songs and books that promote this mindset to understand it better. I know they are out there, I’ve probably sung some of them, but I can’t think of them right now.
One song I can think of is “Wrap me in your arms”. But a funny thing happened, the meaning changed a bit when I had a baby. When she cries or is sad, all I want to do is hold her so she knows she’s safe and loved and will be ok. Basically, I want to wrap her in my arms. What I’m saying is that there’s a fatherly tenderness and affection too (yes I’m a mom, but God is Father). And that is less weird.
SharonF thinks...
http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/song-chart-memes-christian-music.jpg
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