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Category Archives: Read

6

All of the Love and Respect Now Posts…In One Place!

All of the Love and Respect Now Posts

I don’t know how Google searches for things so well, but since I have given my posts a lot of weird titles over the years, finding things by topic is like searching for Waldo in a candy cane store.

So, I wanted to put all the posts in one, easy-to-find place. Read more

17

Getting Past The First Date + An Interactive Practice Conversation

Getting Past The First Date

(Note: If you miss Saved By The Bell, then you’re going to want to watch this video for nostalgia’s sake.)

Joy,

I’ve never had a girlfriend, but I am looking for one. I’ve tried online dating and I went out with two girls, but both said it wasn’t a really good match. 

I am afraid that I am running out of time. I don’t want to be that guy who is 35 and has no one.  Read more

0

Hail Gladdening Light (Phos Hilaron) – Arranged by Paul Ramey, Hannah Glavor and Tim Glavor

Hannah Glavor and Paul Ramey

If you’ve gone through The Illumination Project, you already know all about the bonus materials. I’m talking about things like coasters, a button featuring the profile of a Russian-esque Czar, an entire sheet of gold stars, a box of matches, a better-than-a-Moleskine journal and more.

Beyond all of that, however, I hope you were pumped up by all the amazing artists you were introduced to, especially if you hadn’t already heard about them. I’m fortunate to be surrounded by so many great Portland-based musicians, painters, writers, photographers and other artists, and I’m grateful for those who worked with my father and me to film The Illumination Project so that we could inspire “light bulb moments” on the topics of life and relationships. Read more

3

Gabe & Rebekah Lyons on Starting Q, Starting Fights, & John Travolta

Gabe & Rebekah Lyons

Gabe and Rebekah Lyons are a power couple. They are people who get ISH done. Join me for a conversation with them that ended as though it had only just begun. 

(Well, technically, it did. They left me so their kids wouldn’t be the last ones picked up from gymnastics class. Whatever!) Read more

8

Respect Card? Was ist das?

Respect Card?

You didn’t know I spoke German, did you? Yes, I took two long years of it in high school and my last name is German, loud and proud. If you didn’t know, “Was ist das?” translates to “What is that?”

And “eins, zwei, drei” is “one, two, three.” But now we are totally getting off topic. Read more

87

The Real Reason People Ask About “The One”

The Real Reason People Ask About The One

“Is she The One?'”

“I’ve found The One!”

“He definitely wasn’t The One.”

For as long as I’ve been doing Love and Respect Now, and probably for years before, “The One” debate has always been a hot topic. Recently my father and I were interviewed by Relevant Magazine on things the Church has gotten wrong about dating. This question inevitably came up. Read more

29

How (Not) to Propose Like God by Joshua Ryan Butler

How (Not) to Propose Like God

Why is there so much violence in the Old Testament? How could a loving God allow _______?  Isn’t it arrogant to believe Jesus is the only way to God? 

How do the above questions pertain to a website about relationships, Joy?  Read more

0

Rachel Ramsey Cruze: On Money, Relationships, and Upcoming SMART Conference

Rachel Ramsey Cruze

Rachel Cruze (aka Dave Ramsey’s daughter) will help you become a millionaire.

Wait, no she won’t. But she will help you figure out how to be wise with your money and not get sucked into the financial traps of this culture we live in today. Read more

34

“Does He Like Me?” … Guys? Do You?

Does he like me? Guys? Do you?

I’m going to answer this question line by line. So if you want to get the gist of her question, then read all the non-bolded lines first. It’s a game for your eyeballs. You’re welcome. 

First order of Biz: Men, I would LOVE for you to say what you think this man might be thinking from your perspective. And I would also say to you men, if you find yourself doing something similar to the dude she describes, I just want to let you in on a little secret.. Read more

13

The Good News About Marriage: Shaunti Feldhahn Interview

The Good News About Marriage Shaunti Feldhahn

THE 50% DIVORCE STATISTIC IS FALSE, FOLKS!!!

I don’t usually demand things, but I’m going to today. You must read Shaunti’s book or watch this interview I did with her. I’m literally telling everyone about her findings because it’s EXACTLY what my generation needs to hear.  Read more

15

Mana by Preston Yancey

Mana by Preston Yancey

I remember my college pastor Ben Patterson often quoting the verse, “In Him, we move and have our being.”

I was excited to see that verse in today’s post by Preston Yancey because, like my college pastor, he is one of those thinker-writer types that incorporates the poetry of Scripture into the poetry of their writing. Read more

5

Age Segregation in America and the Church

Age Segregation in America and the Church

Researchers at MIT have begun seeing noticeable trends in society that mimic the impact of racial segregation in our communities.  This Boston Globe article examines and discusses the scientific and historical side of what age segregation has been like in America.  Inspired by this, I decided to do a little video to share my thoughts, as well as share some things that defined me as a child and now as an adult.

Storybooks and Hot Sauce. Read more

18

Did God Lie? When The One Walks Away

Did God lie? When the one walks away.

One of the most common phrases I’ve written in response to the Ask Joy emails I’ve received over the years is, “God is not trying to trick you.” I believe this old post–which I’ve updated for today–is an example of what triggers this type of question. But it also gets at the deeper issue we all need to face when we’re left wondering if we’ve misunderstood “God’s leading” in our life.

We may even wonder, “God, did you lie to me? Do you even care?”

Read more

13

Why L-O-V-E Spells T-I-M-E by Timothy Willard

Why L-O-V-E Spells T-I-M-E

This is the third time Mr. Timothy Willard has guest posted on the ol’ LRN site. He’s pretty much the male-Joy at this point, which is a title he’s been working toward for the past few years.  (Bows head to be Knighted.)

In reality, I keep asking him back because I know him, respect him and appreciate his wisdom as a married man who can shed light on an area that, well, I cannot.

Read more

2

So Worth Loving: Eryn Erickson’s Illumination

So Worth Loving: Eryn Erickson's Illumination

I’m sure Eryn hates being described as little, adorable and tiny, but all I can say is, I clench my jaw from cuteness-overload when I see her–similar to how I feel when I see a kitten. Judge as you will. But just because she has adorable fashion sense and is the size of something I could throw over my shoulder like a continental solider, she is a GIANT in the department of world changers. May some of her love, energy and enthusiasm to serve the unseen and the …

Read more

17

Why Am I Socially Awkward? How To Not Puke At Parties

Why am I Socially Awkward?

The people I know who are well-liked and have lots of friends are people who ask genuine questions of the people they meet. Sadly, some of us are a tad socially awkward and the thought of asking questions makes us want to hurl.

Read more

20

Robin Williams: The Art and Curse of The Observer

Robin Williams: The Art and Curse of the Observer

As a single woman in my thirties, my current M.O. is to go out with pretty much anyone at least once. A new-ish friend asked if I would go out with a guy she knew, and while he looked slightly older, I didn’t know he was a solid two decades my senior.

Taking a bite of my pizza, I heard him ask the age old question, “What’s your favorite movie?”

“Hook,” I said.

Surprised, he shot back the very question I was thinking, “How old are you?”

“30. And you?”

“50.” Read more

3

A Script for Marriage by Esther Fleece

A Script for Marriage

One day this woman will write a whole book about her life.  You have NO IDEA how crazy and intense her upbringing was–and you wouldn’t know that if you met her, because her past is not her focus.

She has every right to be angry at God and at this world, and yet she isn’t.

Read more

0

The Illumination Project: How’d It Go? Ginger Jokes and Wise Folks

The Illumination Project: How'd It Go?

Want some first-hand stories of people who have gone through The Illumination Project? I had so much fun reading the answers to the questions I asked Crista and Sydney. 

Who are Crista and Sydney, you ask?

First they were amazing interns for Love and Respect Now, and then my parents and I decided to keep them. I am so grateful for the energy and efficiency these two women bring to Love and Respect, but beyond all that they believe in the work whole-heartedly.

(Either that or they are really good liars.) Read more

27

Writer in Waiting: Update About My Book

Writer in Waiting: Update about my book

Hey Friends,

I wanted to tell you something.

If you have been part of the Love and Respect Now community for a while, you might remember a little over a year ago when I announced I was getting married. Then I said I was kidding, and told you I was having a baby. After making you adequately annoyed by my endless string of lies, I told you I had just signed a book contract, and then proceeded to dance around my cemetery to Disney tunes like a fool. Read more

2

Problem Solving 101: Plywood Presents (+ Audio Interview)

Plywood Presents

I am SO excited to speak at Plywood Presents in a couple weeks with my friend Jeff Shinabarger. Jeff is a connector and brings together people who are solving problems so they can encourage one another and continue to support each other in innovation. Sound amazing? It is and you should come.

Exceeeeept that it’s sold out this year.   Read more

29

You Make Me Brave by Annie Downs (+ Audio Interview)

You Make Me Brave

Hey y’all,

I can say that because today’s guest is from Nashville. Plus, I just love saying y’all.

IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE, Y’ALL!!

Annie has a new book hot off the press. The words she’s written about me below are far too kind, but they will give you a feel of how her latest release will inspire you.

Also, since it’s just us here, I wanted to give you an update on something. Read more

3

Is Love a Feeling? Balancing Butterflies by Andrea Lucado

Is Love A Feeling? Balancing Butterflies

Andrea Lucado and I connected a few years ago in Nashville, after Rachel Cruze (Dave Ramsey‘s daughter) gave me the idea of connecting with other “daughters.” If you don’t know who Andrea’s father is, he’s written a few books (and by “few” I mean, like, 100).

What connected us was our author-pops*, but what solidified our meeting was smoked sausage. Read more

27

The Bible Project, My Birthday, Bob Barker and a Gift for You!

Stuff I Like: My Birthday

Hi Friendlings!

I feel like it was JUST my birthday a second ago, when Stephanie and I were downing Maple Bacon Bars and blowing out candles.

While downing donuts alone this year, I had a couple thoughts. I want to give YOU two things for my birthday, and ask you for one. May the odds be ever in your favor. Read more

30

Be a Man for Your Wife by Timothy Willard

Be a Man for Your Wife

Recently my brother sent me a picture of Jackson, my 3-year-old nephew, photocopying one of his storybooks. My brother realized the reason he was doing this was because he had seen my brother making photocopies from one of his own books. Children watch and copy.

My friend, Tim, knows the patterns he lives out will be the standard his daughters will grow to expect from the future men in their lives.  This is my favorite part about this post. As I think about my future sons, or even my friends’ children who are watching me, I hope the model of how I treat and speak about others is something worthy of being copied. Read more

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