When I speak, I often get questions that essentially ask, “What do I do, Joy, when life isn’t quite turning out how I planned?”
But, I know what they’re really asking. Read more
Hey, friendlings!
A little while back, I did an Ask Joy about being heartbroken and angry and how we can actually retrain our brains to combat these feelings, reshaping our future experiences.
Seriously, our little brains are even smarter than we think! Read more
“Delay is not denial.”
Once again, my favorite devotional says it so well. Ponder this as you think about the things that God seems to be forgetting or delaying for you.
How do I deal with the anger I’m feeling over a broken heart? My last relationship ended after I took a stand against some things I felt convicted about. But, now I just feel like such a fool. I’ve already built up some major walls against men in general and the poor guy I date next is going to have to scale them all. If my previous relationships are any indication of what marriage is going to be like, I want nothing to do with it. Help!
Hey, Joy!
I just finished reading “Love & Respect”—I am a single woman who has been broken up from a significant other for a year. We were talking of marriage before the break up. In the relationship, I thought he was being a little too sensitive the times when he’d ask me to sit with him and watch a movie that I had absolutely no interest in watching, so I would refuse, or when he would want me to sit in his kitchen with him and watch him cook, though I preferred to watch television instead. Sometimes I gave in, but other times, when I refused, he would get quiet on me and not talk to me. Read more
Hi, Joy!
My girlfriend and I have been in each other’s lives for four years. We dated my senior year in high school, dated for two years, and then broke up. Later, after we broke up, she became a follower of Christ and being agnostic myself was interested in her faith. I started going to church with her and after a couple months I accepted Christ too. After awhile we started dating again and it’s been almost a year.
How important is it that we agree politically? Read more
How do you decide if you like someone ENOUGH to start dating them? My struggle is not so much with picking a quality guy, but more with overcoming my internal indecisiveness when it comes to dating people. Read more
How do we (men) even know if they (women) are interested? Women never bring it up in our group of friends, so it makes it hard to tell. Read more
Hierarchy.
This word immediately makes me envision a hairy man seated on a throne wearing red fur and a pinky ring. I also hear him saying in the voice of Brian Regan, “Bring me the head of a pig and a goblet of something cool and refreshing!”
So as you can imagine, when I saw that my father had a chapter in his book Love and Respect titled “Hierarchy,” I almost wet my pants.
I just wanted to drop you a line and maybe help a few guys out. I’ve noticed an increase in the times I’ve gotten asked out, and it’s been entirely over text messaging or Facebook. Why? If a guy is lazy in the beginning of the relationship, there’s a pretty good chance there won’t be much improvement later on. So, Joy, if you could pass this out to the men out there and give them a heads up that this is NOT what girls typically like to see, it might turn on a few lightbulbs. Read more
I have been talking to a guy from a dating website for about two months, and we decided we are going to finally meet. We are a few hours away from each other. Should I be helping him pay for his expenses? Gas and hotel? Or should I expect him to pay for it and put forth some effort? He appreciates if we can share the cost.
—Fiora Read more
Last week Dr. Ken Canfield wrote a piece on fathers and daughters. As I mentioned in the intro, my own father and Dr. Ken Canfield have been friends for over two decades. They support, sharpen and respect one another greatly. So when my father read Ken’s article last week, reporting the top ten questions women wanted to ask their dads, my father responded with ways he believes women could ask the questions and be more effective in communicating their hearts to the men in their life.
Hello friendlings, Are you aware that it’s wedding season? I have a challenge for those of us attending weddings, and for those who are getting married this year. The Question: Why do you attend weddings? Is it because it’s the one place you can go and dance the YMCA and not be judged? Or is it the Chocolate fountain? (How can you not admire the chocolate fountain?) The challenge to myself and the other attendees this season is to be more committed to our friends who …
Ask Joy: Today’s question actually comes from a guy named Paul, who I like to call “Sweet Paul.” Paul wrote and said, “Hey, Joy, if you’re such an expert on relationships and marriage, why is it that you’re still not married?” My Response: I want to be open and honest with everyone about why I’m not married. I don’t mean to blame my brother, Jonathan, but it is his fault… Questions How do you respond internally to the question of why you are still single? …
Ask Joy: Hi, Joy, I’ve been dating someone for five years now, and he used to be married before, but his wife cheated on him, and he is divorced. He’s an amazing, God-fearing, caring, smart, and handsome man. But he has problems with anger… …even when we have small arguments, he’d always scream and then apologize. He has even raised his hands on me a few times, too. Just this week we had an argument in the car and he got really mad and hit …
Ask Joy: Dear Joy, I know I can do all of these romantic things, like take a girl out to a nice dinner and a movie, or a long walk on the beach at sunset, or cook for her, but… …what actually adds the romance? Sam My Response: You’re right, Sam, it’s not the thing that does it… Questions: Why do we default to “formulas” or “how to’s” when it comes to romantic gestures? What is a romantic gesture that you’ve given or received that …
Ask Joy: Recently, I was hanging out with a group of friends and having a great time when a guy we didn’t know came up to us and joined the conversation. I talked with him for a while and then drifted into other conversation. A good friend of mine who was there introduced herself but didn’t speak another word to him. The next day he asked her out. I don’t tell this story in an effort to throw myself a pity party, but I do …
One of the themes I see in many of the Ask Joy questions I get is, “How do I…?” or “When should I…?” or “Is it ok if…?” And one of my main goals is… …to not answer. I prefer posing questions to give possible scenarios pointing the asker to a more global answer. I want to push myself and all of us, to think. And that’s what I want to do for those of you who simply see The Hunger Games as one of …
Ask Joy: Recently, one of you wrote in – anonymously – asking what I want in a man. My Response: I was going to pass on this Ask Joy, and then thought, I might as well capitalize on my site and use it to find a man. Boo-ya. To watch the rest of my aforementioned e-Harmony video, click HERE. Question: What is your equivalent of my beard requirement? What’s been your shallowest deal breaker?
Oh, hello! I’m just wafting the aroma of this soup I’ve been slaving over all day long. I’m so skilled at domestic chores, that my hand isn’t even burning right now as I hold this pot of soup. Welcome to my kitchen. My name is Holly. Holly Homemaker. Ask Joy: This question is from a 27 year old single male who deeply values the fact that his mom stayed home to raise him. He wants the same thing for his kids, but doesn’t want to …
Recently I spoke at Belmont University and later that afternoon did an “Ask Joy” session with students. This is probably my favorite aspect of my job. I love hearing from you all through the site, but there’s something about seeing your face, hearing your questions, and then getting to respond to you with an answer that results in you lying on the floor in the fetal position. It’s the BEST! I heart my job and inflicting psychological damage on you all! But, seriously, there were …
Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Introduction Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question # 1 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #2 Question If we are always hanging out together, will anyone else ever ask me out? My Response Last year I was flipping through the channels and landed on some show whose title is escaping me. My gut tells me it was The Tyra Banks Show. I know. I wish I couldn’t remember either. There were two “dating experts” being interviewed. I use dating …
Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Introduction Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question # 1 Question My friend has feelings for me, but I don’t feel the same. Now what? My Response Let me preface my response by acknowledging that I responded to the first Friends Post with questions, and am doing it again here. You’re sick of thought-provoking lists, I KNOW. I promise this is the last time. The other posts are going to be full of free lottery tickets, Caribbean cruise giveaways, and …
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