Ask Joy: Can guys and girls be friends? My Response: Well, there are approximately one million ways I could answer this question, so let’s kick off a “Friends” series, shall we? Questions: Do you think there is an answer to this question? Has this been a question in your own life? How did you answer? Coming up in this series: I like Sally, she doesn’t like me. Can we be friends? Sally likes me, and I don’t like her. Can we be friends? We are …
I’ve had an interesting revelation lately. When I’m injured, I’m reminded I am single. Natural correlation, right? Injured tailbone, foot, and now shoulder. Back-to-back-to-back. Everything was bearable but enough pain to keep me from biking much at all this summer. And sitting? Couldn’t do much of that for a month. As I was walking to church in a sling a couple Sundays ago, I started thinking about how I want to remember this feeling of “not having any help.” Sure, I have tons of wonderful friends (thanks, …
Ask Joy I finally decided to sign up for E-Harmony. It took a lot of courage. I want to know your thoughts on online match sites. I am still very apprehensive about the whole thing. P.S. I am a teacher, and our school mascot is the unicorn. My Response Question How can you bring community into your online dating experience, and not become isolated? Didn’t catch the series that I referenced about asking questions? Start HERE
Ask Joy I have a friend who is currently dating someone who is not a Christ follower. She knows I disapprove and, because of this, I haven’t really talked to her in months because I don’t want to hear about their relationship. Am I wrong in not speaking to her? I don’t know how to be a friend without her thinking I’m OK with them dating. My Response It’s good that you are trying to figure out how to be her friend; however, not …
Ask Joy I met this guy and I have a big crush on him, but I know the Bible says that men are supposed to pursue women. So should I just give up on my crush? Should I just drop it? Who Pursues? Part 1 My Response I think that fear is at the root of why we deny our desire to pursue or be pursued. Question What has been your experience? Men: What prevents you from pursuing? Women: What motivates you to pursue?
Ask Joy I met this guy and I have a big crush on him, but I know the Bible says that men are supposed to pursue women. So should I just give up on my crush? Should I just drop it? My Response Well…scripture doesn’t say that. Question Men: Do you have a sense that women want to be pursued in our culture? Women: How do you feel about waiting to be pursued, not just in theory, but in reality? Watch Part Two
Since I just traveled to Oxford and spent time spying on C.S. Lewis’s home, college and almost every pub he dined in, I thought it only fitting that I highlight a couple parts from his chapter titled “Christian Marriage” in Mere Christianity. I suggest you read the whole chapter but I have noted a few of my own thoughts and would love to hear yours! Part I: On Love What we call ‘being in love’ is a glorious state, and, in several ways, good for …
How do I forgive people who have INTENTIONALLY hurt me? Made me suffer? How do I forgive evil? Will they get what they deserve? God will bring justice. Right? “Lord, help me to want to forgive.” This was the bold prayer of my friend who grew up with parents who were in a cult. They subjected her to every type of sexual and sadistic abuse you can think of. This friend came to mind during two lectures I heard during my recent trip to Oxford. …
Ask Joy How do I set good emotional boundaries, or know when and how to share things in a relationship? My Response Another video in the cemetery…shocker. And a couple of my personal stories. Question Do you sometimes question whether or not the Spirit will respond when you invite him into a situation? Is it possible that He is there, but in a way that you weren’t expecting or able to recognize? What has been your experience?
Enjoy this “choose your own adventure” by clicking on the image. If it gives you a laugh, you can pass it along to friends via any medium you desire. If you don’t laugh, I will find you and inflict pain…via any medium I desire.
The unicorns will help me.
Recently I was at a wedding and I spoke with someone for an hour during “mingle time.” You know, that period lasting anywhere from 60-348.2 minutes where the ceremony is done and you are waiting for the bride and groom to arrive. Mingle Time. Post mingle time, I realized during the whole conversation, I had not been asked one question. Not one. Granted, I was asking lots of questions, and I didn’t have a need for the person to ask me any…but I still found …
Ask Joy How do you handle the “I can’t believe you’re still single!” comments from people? I think they mean well, but it’s still discouraging. My Response This statement is usually said to me at weddings. And I generally respond with, “I CAN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER! Thanks for affirming my fear that I smell like cheese and will die alone!” Then I try to give some grace as I remind myself that most people filter life through their own stories. They got married young. They …
Respect State of The Union Watch the intro to find out what this is all about: RSOTU Intro (1 of 15) Question Men: Do you agree with what the men said about her respecting who you choose as friends? In what other ways have women challenged your ability to make decisions? Do you think that was their intention? Women: If you have legitimate concerns about his friends, how have you handled it? Has it been effective? Why might your words wound him?
Respect State of The Union Watch the intro to find out what this is all about: RSOTU Intro (1 of 15) Question: Guys – How do you feel honored or respected by men or women? Women – Have you ever asked a guy what makes him feel honored or respected? Disrespected?
Ask Joy What if you thought the guy was right and believed that God orchestrated the meeting? But he’s now walked away, after one-and-a-half years? My Response People have free will, which means we won’t always understand why they do what they do. Regarding God’s orchestration, the mystery becomes intertwined with our limited human understanding. It’s a deeper theological question of whether God dictates everything we do or whether He works in the midst of human beings and their choices, be they good or bad. People will …
Ask Joy I’m turning 30 soon and I am single. All of my close relationships are with couples. Ideally I would love to be in a community where men and women, older and younger, married and single, connect. But because it seems as though my friends have just kind of accepted me as the single girl, no one seems interested or available to help connect me with any single men. Am I expecting too much from my close friends? My Response I admire that you …
Many people (myself included) have asked, “Joy, what do you think about the one?” * Over the next three Mondays, or “Monday – One – Day” as I have been calling it in my head, I will post videos with my personal thoughts on the one. Part 1 – Is There Only One? Part 2 – How Do I Know? (If this is the one.) Part 3 – What If There Is No One? (Contrary to popular belief, we did not order wind machines for …
Part one of this five-part series is a video response to The Wall Street Journal’s, Where Have All The Good Men Gone? article. This will be a five-part series that was triggered by people wanting to know my thoughts. But I want to make a disclaimer… Disclaimer: As you read what I write in this series, please feel free to comment and disagree. I want to state upfront that my approach to this will leave you with LOTS of “yeah, but what about…” I welcome …
Ask Joy …I don’t have any desire to replace my current life with my imagined one, but my mind is good at weaving stories… …Is this just a harmless remnant from that phase of life, or is it something ugly that I should be fighting harder than I have already been? My Response Question: If you had to be really honest, what things cause you to become dissatisfied with your life?
Ask Joy Why do nice guys always finish last? I would love to be in a relationship, but I’m known as the “nice guy.” I’m always more like a brother than a boyfriend. Most of my female friends are much more attracted to “bad boys” because there is a sense of danger, which I hear is attractive to women. Do women ever grow out of that feeling, or am I doomed to “always be the groomsman, never the groom”? My Response Thank you …
Ask Joy My boyfriend and I have been together for almost three years, and every single day, he and I argue. And we’re not even married yet. It’s now to the point where I don’t feel attracted to him anymore from all the arguing and I want to end the relationship. However, he still wants to work it out and believes we can make it through this. What should we do? My Response I first want to point out a comment that you and many …
Small State of the Union:
Because of my propensity to dogmatism, I tend to shy away from God-talk or anything that sounds like I’m trying to be holier than I know I really am. In my desire to not fall into legalism or pietism or any other ism that would put me in a sometimes disliked category of “Christian,” I choose my words carefully.
Sometimes.
Last week I heard the little “pop” sound on my computer and realized someone was “chatting me.” It was an old friend who had just recently broken up with his girlfriend. After e-chatting for a bit, I decided to run one of my little theories past him. He resonated with the portion I shared and said I should write it up. So here goes…
A video reflecting on a recent lecture I attended on how to write a Christian Romance Novel. The women were sweet and gracious, but I had a tough time swallowing some of their instructions.
Ok, I might have actually gagged a little. Read more
Tomorrow I have the privilege of speaking at Pepperdine University with Dr. Ken Canfield on a fun topic.
Porn.
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