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18

Emotional Boundaries or “How to Chat in a Cemetery.”

Ask Joy

How do I set good emotional boundaries, or know when and how to share things in a relationship?

My Response

Another video in the cemetery…shocker.  And a couple of my personal stories.

Question

Do you sometimes question whether or not the Spirit will respond when you invite him into a situation?  Is it possible that He is there, but in a way that you weren’t expecting or able to recognize?  What has been your experience?

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18 Comments

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    • Kiersten Johnson thinks...

      Thank you for not giving a direct answer. I don’t like it when someone tries to give an answer when they really don’t have one (even though it is with good intentions). It is amazing what God can do. I did that once with talking to my aunt about her divorce and God provided the perfect opportunity for me!

      Reply| at |

      • JOY thinks...

        That is so great to hear Kiersten. I love hearing the stories of God showing up. It will look different for everyone, but if we invite Him – I believe He does. At least the Bible says He will! Cool about your Aunt.

        Reply| at |

    • Chelsea thinks...

      Girl, I loved this one. I think that people (including myself) look for these neat, clean answers to their questions so they can bring some control to an uncontrollable situation or circumstances orchestrated by God, which are ALWAYS out of our control. But this isn’t how God works. He is mysterious. He speaks to each of our hearts personally–sometimes telling us to move, sometimes to wait. But if we’re searching for some sort of formula to place God and what he is orchestrating in a box, we are never going to find it. I was talking to a friend the other day and saying something my mentor shared with me, that God doesn’t try to confuse us. Do we have to put effort into seeking him? If we ask him for leading in something, do we have to believe he will follow through? YES! Trusting God for wisdom takes a lot of faith, but He is not trying to confuse us. If we believe He will follow through, every time.

      Reply| at |

      • JOY thinks...

        “He is not trying to confuse us.” That is so true but sometimes difficult to believe ont he heels of it taking so much faith! If we don’t believe in a bigger plan, our faith is a straw man. Thank you for your encouraging comment.

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    • sharideth smith thinks...

      god shows up whether i want him to or not. i try to do things my own way and he hits me in the head with the holy baseball bat of awareness.

      it’s kind “our thing”.

      Reply| at |

      • JOY thinks...

        I like you a lot. speaking of which, I have your book & $ in my car. Just haven’t made it to the post office. It IS COMING!!!

        Reply| at |

    • Maddie thinks...

      Love that you focused on this question (again?)…so important though. And Epp’s whole point about the different levels and aspects in relationships growing TOGETHER rings so true…yet we as a generation really suck at that one. Always jumping the gun in some area. I love that you tall about inviting the H.S. in. That is our ultimate answer for all the “gray areas” we face today and complain about. That’s why we have the Spirit! Woo woo!

      Reply| at |

      • JOY thinks...

        Yes – I tackled it about a year ago…see here: https://loveandrespectnow.com/2010/05/ask-joy-emotional-boundaries/ Love your belief in the Spirit. Mine is growing the more I engage with God and ask for that power. It’s grown my faith so much.

        Reply| at |

    • Christina thinks...

      Love your blog, Just found it.
      I really like what you’re doing! Keep on keepin’ on 😉

      Reply| at |

      • JOY thinks...

        Thank you so much!

        Reply| at |

    • Tor Constantino thinks...

      That was a great video – I’m so glad I found you via Sherideth Smith!! Now I’ve got ANOTHER must-read blog 😉 Thanks to you both!

      Reply| at |

      • Jennwith2ns thinks...

        Haha–ME TOO!

        Reply| at |

      • JOY thinks...

        Thank you! Sharideth is always bringin’ folks together.

        Reply| at |

    • Jennwith2ns thinks...

      This is really good counsel. It seems like it should be so obvious, but I think we miss this “step” a whole lot . . . in our control-freakish attempts to have “steps.” (Did I say “our”? I probably meant “my.”)

      Reply| at |

      • JOY thinks...

        Oh you can say, “our” anytime. I think something about my control issues are mentioned in this video: https://loveandrespectnow.com/2011/04/the-one-part-2-how-do-i-know/

        Reply| at |

    • Stephanie thinks...

      Thank you for answering my question. Thank you for reminding me about the power of inviting the Holy Spirit into relationships, His presence and care.

      Reply| at |

    • alece thinks...

      so much rich wisdom in this — thank you, friend. i need that reminder constantly to invite God into my conversations and situations…

      Reply| at |

      • JOY thinks...

        You are welcome. I say it as an equal reminder to myself! We must not forget the stories of when He has been faithful. I wish I did so much more than I do.

        Reply| at |

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