Watch the intro to find out what this is all about: RSOTU Intro (1 of 15)
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.
From My Heart
All of the Love and Respect Now Posts…In One Place!
Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs on Marriage, Parenting, Family of Origin, Work & Death
Fighting for Love (and Other Potentially Hazardous Cliches)
Elizabeth – I am so proud of his astute understanding of his areas of feeling disrespected. You can respectfully tell him that as his mother you are actually in the place of authority and will not allow him to have such harmful items. His Aunt Joy on the other hand….
I know, I have photographic proof of you “showing” Micah respect. In all seriousness though, a legit question to be asking!
Have you ever asked a guy what makes him feel honored or respected? Disrespected? This is a really good question. This is one I have learned to ask as a married woman. Am reminded I need to get constant feedback on it by asking, “How am I doing in the area of respect?’ I regret not thinking to ask this question sooner in my life or realizing respect was so important. Feeling a bit cringey”about how often I have missed the mark. Repenting still!
I think TONE has a lot to do with it. My sis-in-law is super careful with this. She can say some pretty direct things without being disrespectful to my brother, which I am grateful for (and I’m sure he is too). I have tried emulating her tone, with less positive results. I think I probably sounded fake and forced, because inwardly my heart toward him was feeling disrespectful and was trying to cover it up with words and a fake tone. I think I’ve decided the trick is to remind yourself what it is about the guy you respect and love unconditionally, and then speak out of that tone to the annoyances. My friend Sande told me once that every time she had to bend over to pick up one of her husband’s socks off the bedroom floor (a bad habit of his), she forced herself to think of one thing she loved about him. I think there’s something to this. Thoughts?
wow. this is so good. thank you so much for doing this series Joy!
Lisa – don’t be too hard on yourself! We are all learning to work this into our vocab, belief system and facial expressions. (-:
Erin – Exactly. One time I was borderline yelling at a guy but I used respect language as I called him out on some things. Later I asked him if he felt disrespected and he said, “not at all.” I knew it was because of my word choices. God designed us to be strong women of influence…HOW we choose to communicate that though needs to shift a bit.
Love the sock thing. It shows perspective. I think we lose perspective when we feel offended.
Nathan – Thank you! As a man I need your voice of affirmation, addition or….”Joy you are totally off base.” (-:
elizabeth thinks...
Micah and I just watched. I asked him and he said he feels disrespected when I take knives and beer out of his hands.
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