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8

Ask Joy: Heartbroken and Angry

Ask Joy

How do I deal with the anger I’m feeling over a broken heart? My last relationship ended after I took a stand against some things I felt convicted about. But, now I just feel like such a fool.  I’ve already built up some major walls against men in general and the poor guy I date next is going to have to scale them all. If my previous relationships are any indication of what marriage is going to be like, I want nothing to do with it. Help!

~Melissa

My Response

Hi Melissa,

Wow, your question breaks my heart and hits pretty close to home for me—which is probably why I have a lot to say.  You’ll need to watch the video to get my full answer but here are a few major points:

  • You aren’t alone and why I believe that
  • The brain can retrain itself—and what you need to do
  • What I learned in improv class.
  • Cold sores and horticulture
  • The person who hurt you isn’t ALL people.
  • There is hope.

…and more.

(Can’t see the video?  Access on You Tube here.)

From my heart,

Joy

Questions

How do the relationships in your past–whether your own or your parents’–affect the way you view marriage now or in the future?

What choices can you make today that will help you begin to think differently about the people who have hurt you?

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8 Comments

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    • Katie (@katie_mccraw) thinks...

      Thank you so much for sharing this – I almost cried it resonated so much with me and I obviously really needed to hear this. I’ve been following your website for awhile now, and I really appreciate your honesty, insight, vision and humour. May you be blessed in all you do 🙂

      Reply| at |

    • Ore thinks...

      I think a lot of people can relate with this. I’m mega guilty of having all these walls up and not having a lot of close guy friends because i see a dude and automatically think he’s hiding a sledge hammer somewhere and waiting for the opportunity to crush me…metaphorically of course. Hehe. But I’m open to change and i see God’s hand at work in me even now. Thanks for sharing Joy! Big fan!!!

      Reply| at |

    • Julie (@julespreever) thinks...

      So much wisdom here. One good thing is that when I get stressed, I don’t deal with a form of herpes…fortunately. Unfortunately, 10 lbs just magically appears out of nowhere and lands somewhere in my pants area. Oh, well. I was REALLY stressed out for a good portion of my 20s 🙂

      Reply| at |

    • Val thinks...

      I like how your message starts with, “To all the FUTURE men out there…” 😉 Thanks for this!

      Reply| at |

    • Sarah thinks...

      Hi Joy, I discovered your site just recently and have really enjoyed your take on life and relationships. What you said in this video about the brain, choosing your attitudes, and the effects if of it, is so true. I never even thought about it like that until I watched an interview Joyce Meyers did with Dr. Caroline Leaf about the brain and our thoughts and choosing what we will allow to affect us. It has really impacted my life.
      Thanks for the ministry you have here. It’s a blessing!
      Oh, btw, lysine works wonders on cold sores! 😀

      Reply| at |

    • Jeremy thinks...

      I could say the same thing this young lady says, but about any future woman I would date. This really hit home for me, One observation I made about things….

      We may have our walls up, consciously or not, whenever we meet someone else. If they’re the right person for us, God will already have given them the right climbing gear.

      Reply| at |

      • Lydia thinks...

        Love it Jeremy.
        You’re on to something. Not in any way to give us an excuse to keep our walls up, but sometimes we forget just how puny they are compared to His purpose, and how they are not going to stop God from doing what He wants to do in our lives.

        Reply| at |

    • Sarette S. (@sarettestahnke) thinks...

      My last relationship was with a guy who’d been hurt deeply by his previous girlfriend and who assumed I would hurt him the same way. He told me he had trouble believing anyone ever really liked him and couldn’t believe any of my affirmations were genuine. Out of defense, he wound up treating me just as he had been treated, and my fear ever since has been that I’d turn around and do the same to another genuinely wonderful man who doesn’t deserve that. Thank you so much for this message of hope & healing. All I want is to break this pattern & find forgiveness.

      Reply| at |

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