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I just wanted to drop you a line and maybe help a few guys out. I’ve noticed an increase in the times I’ve gotten asked out, and it’s been entirely over text messaging or Facebook. Why? If a guy is lazy in the beginning of the relationship, there’s a pretty good chance there won’t be much improvement later on. So, Joy, if you could pass this out to the men out there and give them a heads up that this is NOT what girls typically like to see, it might turn on a few lightbulbs.
I understand your desire not to end up with lazy guys, but…
…I would encourage you to take some time to think about the large labels you are creating for men in light of their mode of contacting you.
Some of them may be lazy, yes. But I would encourage you to communicate with them in the way you want to communicate. If they don’t follow suit or if you find out later that they truly are lazy human beings, then there’s your answer.
Until then, I would encourage you to just give them a chance and try to gauge what their character is truly like.
Some guys may need reprimanding, but I also think positive encouragement and assuming the best instead of the worst can actually make a bigger impact long term.
From my text-loving heart,
Evaluate if your communication style is lazy because you:
1. Honestly don’t really care to get to know her and you just want female attention or
2. You are appearing lazy in your communication because you are scared of rejection.
If it’s #1, stop.
If it’s #2, know that in the same way I am asking people like Brittany to show some grace and give you a chance, I would ask you to think about how you are coming across in your communication. If you are interested in getting to know her more, and she is somewhat responsive to you, then do your best to be clear. Even when it’s nerve wracking!
“Do you want to go for a hike?”
“Hey girl, whatchu doing?”
Which one do you think most Brittany’s would filter as the “lazy” communication style? She may not be interested in you, but I don’t know any woman who doesn’t respect a man who at least gives it a shot and shoots for being clear. And if she repeatedly responds to your, “Hey girl, whatchu doing?” texts, then she is probably just wanting male attention and not expecting enough intentionality from the people she dates.
Women, when a guy asks you out via text or Facebook, do you see that as a sign of laziness?
Men, what would be you reasons for a “Hey girl” text vs a clear text?
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.