THE 50% DIVORCE STATISTIC IS FALSE, FOLKS!!!
I don’t usually demand things, but I’m going to today. You must read Shaunti’s book or watch this interview I did with her. I’m literally telling everyone about her findings because it’s EXACTLY what my generation needs to hear.
An entire session of The Illumination Project is based off the question, “Should we have hope for marriage?” It’s difficult to figure out the answer today when we’re only hearing the depressing stats about divorce and happiness in marriage. We’re left wondering if we should put our heart out on the line and go out on that date with the person we are on the fence about anyways, orrrr stay in our marriage when it gets a bit bumpy.
There’s good news–many of the stats that have been floating around for years are literally crap. (Sorry, mom.) This little conspiracy theorist (that is, me, not Shaunti) is picturing some crazy divorce lawyer who decided years ago to leak “bad news” so people would assume it was hopeless, give up and call him.
Ok, so maybe I’ve gone a little nuts, but Shaunti hasn’t. Listen in to her wisdom and expertise! And meet her cat, because he’s pretty pumped about this, too.
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THE SKIP-AHEAD NOTES (but you shouldn’t…):
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The divorce rate has been declining overall for years; it has declined 32% since its peak around 1980.
-Shaunti Feldhahn, The Good News About Marriage
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received her graduate degree from Harvard University and was an analyst on Wall Street before unexpectedly becoming a social researcher and best-selling author. Today, she applies her analytical skills to investigating eye-opening, life-changing truths about relationships, both at home and in the workplace. Her groundbreaking research-based books, such as For Women Only, have sold more than 2 million copies in 23 languages and are widely read in homes, counseling centers and corporations worldwide._______
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Thanks Heather – Glad you did too! The book is even better.
This was encouraging to listen to–thanks to both of you. But now I have a question about the statistics regarding two specific demographics…
If the 50% divorce rate is not true, what about the divorce rates for lawyers (60%) and those with Aspergers (may be as high as 80%)?
– are these stats true?
– if they are, does that in comparison to the true divorce rate percentages make it an even worse, and more discouraging, ratio?
– if they aren’t true, how would I find information for what IS true?
Hey Lindsay – great and interesting follow up questions. While I personally don’t know the answers, I would check out Shaunti’s book. She has this and another more exhaustive one coming out and has tons of references for research she studied and performed. I’m guessing you could hunt and find the answers there.
Hello Joy! I work on Shaunti’s team and I passed Lindsay’s question on to Shaunti. She had a long response (which I’ve already sent to Lindsay) written along with her senior researcher, Tally. I am going to publish that question & answer (anonymously, of course) on our blog later this week and when I do, I will pass on the link here. It’s a great nuance to discuss!
Oh wow that is so kind of Shaunti to do! Look forward to reading the answer. Thanks~
It was a kind thing to do. Thank you again, Caroline and Shaunti.
Ok, Joy et al — here is Shaunti’s response to Lindsay’s question: http://www.shaunti.com/?p=8136
I just finished writing about the same statistics Shaunti is talking about and as I had studied stats in university things didn’t always sound right. I did find the living together before marriage stats interesting and I found stats on less divorce among practising faith as opposed to nominally in a faith. As always God is a factor in our happiness and He wants the best for us.
I am sitting here with tears running down my face, thank you!!! I am married for the third time, my first marriage as a teenager ended in divorce and my second marriage of 23 years ended in widowhood. I am now happily remarried. But have been having this thought hanging over my head, that statistically we won’t survive!! Thank you for this truth, I can’t wait to share this with my husband! Will buy the book.
Wow, DeLynn this is so powerful and encouraging to hear. I am going to share your words with Shaunti! It is Good News indeed!
DeLynn, that is so encouraging to hear!!! I passed your comment on to Shaunti (I work on her team) and she said it was so sweet. 🙂 May God bless your marriage with many happy years!!
DeLynn, Shaunti wanted to know if you would be willing for your comment to be a testimonial on her website. It would be anonymous with no name or email attached. Please let me know if you’d be willing to let us share your story to encourage others! Thanks.
Heather thinks...
Fascinating! Glad I took the time to watch.
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