“Ah, I have picked up magic in her nearness.” –Poet Ezra Pound

I don’t vomit that much.

In fact, prior to puking on Monday night after the final episode of The Bachelor, I can tell you the time, place and scenario of my last barf.

It might have been the food I was eating, I’ll give you that…but all I know is that the moment I began watching the episode my stomach started turning.  I have only seen the last few weeks so if my “analysis” is off base, then that is my disclaimer. But please hear me out because I want your thoughts…

Question: Why do we watch? To see the pain?  Love?

We can all empathize and relate to the pain of heartbreak, but will the flip side be dissatisfaction when it no longer feels magical?

“Magical” was the most over used word.  I should have helped Jake out with the more anatomically appropriate term he was looking for when he said something felt “Magical.” That would be…

…Well, I’ll let you figure out what that term might be.

Ok, I don’t want to be completely negative in this blog.  Speaking with a few friends, it’s obvious that we all can critique the downfalls of this show…i.e.

1) Westernized extremism.

a.  20+ girls to 1 guy.

b.  6 weeks to choose someone to be with F-O-R-E-V-E-R.

c.  Vacation getaway setting.

d.  Romantic dates which are financially unattainable by most humans.

2) Not listening to the wise counsel of his family and others.

a.  Socially we have latched onto this “follow your heart” phrase as pleasant alternative to “screw everyone else’s opinion and red flags.”

b. Biblically this is simply called “disobedience.”

3) Jake unaware of what “Magical” could actually be…

a.  Jake re: Tenley, “I am missing the physical connection.”

b.  Jake re: Vienna, “I have never had this much heat!”

I know people who met and were engaged in 6 weeks, so I realize it can happen. But these people had great insight and accountability in making their decision. They also didn’t have cameras in their face and Egyptian cotton sheets calling them into a bed laden with rose petals just to “chat.”

So, is there any reality to this reality show?  Yes.   Jake saying he has “fallen in love” with multiple women = reality.

Sure, sometimes there is a bit of acting, and possibly a few artificial tears, but lets think back to the (westernized) extreme factors here:

1) 20+ girls to 1 guy will produce results.

a.  The show has received thousands of applicants.  The producers narrow it down and find out every single fact about the person’s life, personality, and criminal record.

b.  From the handful chosen, I believe Jake could make marriage work with most of them.

2)  6 weeks with no work and few stressors. Besides the small task for Jake to choose a mate.

3)  Vacation in paradise. This can tend to bring out people’s “fun” side.

4)  Financial issues obliterated. Hmmm, that could increase fond feelings.

Having this type of environment allows for one to easily fall in love with multiple women. It’s like a polygamist’s playground for crying out loud! Since all the realities of life are removed, he is left with his feelings.  And when you are in this setting, the only feelings one is left with are generally going to be physical attraction or “heat” as Jake called it.

We know from books like Helen Fischer’s Why Him? Why Her? or Daniel Amen’s The Brain in Love, that many chemicals are produced during the season of “falling in love.” So physiologically we can see why people are drawn to each other, but we focus less on what makes people stay.

My opinion is that Jake and Vienna did fall in love in every sense of what their hormones, pheromones and any other moans are telling them. I just hope they become aware of what it takes to make it last. That would truly be magical.

I may have had food poisoning on that magical Monday night, but I’m pretty sure it was more. I am saddened to the point of puking when I see the fantasyland I know many want. My personal fantasy might not be the setting of the Bachelor, but I know there are things I observe, read or dream about that make me dissatisfied with reality.

Question

Why do we watch? To see the pain? Love? Has our voyeuristic needs desensitized us to real people’s pain? Are we left feeling satisfied? Dissatisfied? Comforted in our own heartache? Hopeful for magic?

Be honest.  No answer is wrong.

More things to ponder: Both final girls were divorced which is not uncommon for our generation. Tenley’s divorce was due to her husband’s infidelity.  As far as I can tell from Vienna, it was due to a foolish decision and in her words, “never being in love.” What is Vienna’s determinant for being “in love” with Jake as oppose to past loves?  Did she articulate what this “magic” was?