Later this week, I am going to post a video on how I labeled someone a “jerk”when I shouldn’t have…

But first…

People ask if I have books I would recommend for learning about relationships.  While I do think my father’s book, Love and Respect can and should be read by unmarried people, one of the books that really impacted me a few years ago was John Van Epp’s How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk. Not gonna lie, the cover is a little embarrassing to read in public because everyone assumes you really have a bad track record, but it’s definitely a worth while read.

Van Epp has done extensive research on relationships, but the book is written at a layman’s level.  I have all sorts of underlines, highlights and notes in the margin. When you look at any of the books in my library, you can tell which books have kept me engaged…or not, simply based on how messy it looks. This is one of my messiest.

How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk is not just a book for people who have been in unhealthy relationships.  While it does lay out how to avoid bad relationships, more importantly it teaches the reader how to engage in a healthy balanced one.  If you are in a relationship, or ever hope to be, read it.

“The twentieth-century motto “Think love” needs to be replaced with a new, twenty-first-century motto “Love thinks.”

– John Van Epp, Ph.D.

Question: Picture a jerk… (Got it?)

Did you first envision a male or female?*

*Van Epp’s book implies both sexes can be jerks.  Overall the focus of the book is not about “jerks” but about how to notice red flags in our unhealthy relationships and how to proceed with healthy relationships. I think “Jerks” was simply an attention grabbing title.

Also: I had the privilege of meeting John Van Epp last fall and is the author I reference in this post.