Ask Joy

I just started dating this wonderful woman—I really care about her, and love the heart she has for having a family someday. Problem is, we just started dating, and because I have to travel a lot for my career, I just left the country for a couple of months.

My girlfriend is getting older, and she is really afraid all her eggs are drying up—she’s afraid she won’t be able to start a family someday.

Because we’re far away from each other, it’s hard to know if this relationship is going to pan out—it’s a lot of pressure, and it’s stressing her out. What can I do to put her at ease and stop her fears from consuming her? 

My Response

The dynamic duo (what Steph & I wish everyone called us, but they don’t) are at it again, answering all your questions and more in this video.

It’s clear that your girlfriend is struggling with some real fear and anxiety—so much so that it seems she’s fixated on the issue. Eggs dying is no small thing, and you’re right, we aren’t getting any younger, and I think that means they are dying by the second, so…

See? It’s easy to tailspin when fear is in the driver’s seat.

I hear your caring heart in your question, along with your desire to find a solution to her problem—to “fix it.” But the most important, most helpful thing you can do for your girlfriend right now is to step back and ask her what she feels she needs.

And a few other things… so make sure to watch the video.

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Questions

Do you struggle with playing “the savior” in your relationships?

What tools do you use to help your loved ones when they are fearful and anxious about a certain subject?