In light of one of the themes behind The Illumination Project—the importance of seeking counsel—I’ve brought in the ‘rents to talk all things wisdom.
They are, after all, older and wiser.
Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing some interviews I did with my mom and pop about what they would tell themselves at different stages of their lives—as singles, as newlyweds, as new parents.
And today is your lucky day, because today my mom and I are throwin’ it back to when she was single and ready to mingle. So all the single ladies, listen up as Mama E talks respect, mean girls, and getting married after the first date.
Okay, maybe not that last one.
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Gals, do you feel pressure to marry a guy if you date them? How can we be more open and free in dating?
Guys, what does respect look like to you personally?
Any more advice we can give our single ladies?
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.
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All of the Love and Respect Now Posts…In One Place!
Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs on Marriage, Parenting, Family of Origin, Work & Death
Fighting for Love (and Other Potentially Hazardous Cliches)
Ahahah! Would love to hear THAT story.
anytime. 🙂
I found these nuggets of insight really wise and I literally cannot wait to hear more from Mama E and from the Illumination series. I have found wisdom from elders including my own mama very helpful in navigating the dating world and establishing a relationship with my fiancee. I need to learn more about the respect aspect and love the question, What motivates you?”
I would second the opinion that you don’t need to be madly in love with someone before the first date. Love can often grow, and this is often a deeper more lasting kind of love.
Being kind is also very important, and is a very attractive quality that men are drawn to. Or so I’m told!
Glad to see you’re learning from your mom too! My mom’s next nugget of wisdom is up now: https://loveandrespectnow.com/2013/11/what-i-know-now-newly-married-ladies-and-joys-response-to-sad-stories/
“Being kind is also very important, and is a very attractive quality that men are drawn to. Or so I’m told!”
Both kindness and respect towards men are very, very rare – nearly non-existant – and men need them desperately now. Think of them as water and fertilizer for a thirsty, malnuturished, dying plant.
Yes, we are drawn to that, if for no other reason than it might be the only source of water and nutrition available.
Use them only to give life, not as a means to manipulate and control.
I ABSOLUTELY feel pressure to marry a guy just because I’m dating them! But it’s not from myself or the guy…but my family and friends! The older I get the more they act like I should be married and shouldn’t break up or stop dating someone because I might be “running out of time.” It’s ridiculous!
Michaeleen thinks...
Oh my gosh, yes I put pressure on myself to marry whatever guy I dated. That’s why I turned down the same guy for 3 years. It doesn’t help that I did end up marrying him. 🙂 But that’s another story. And just like the advice given to your mom, I too had someone tell me “You don’t have to marry him!”
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