Formal Lunch: A Funny Thing Called Commitment

Gather all your single, dating, and married friends together—Sir Mix-A-Lot style—and read this article from The Atlantic.

Though the focus of this piece is about online dating, I think there are bigger themes important enough to be discussed. Try to take a step back as you read it and pray that you will have wisdom instead of cynicism towards a culture that is trying to make sense of today’s society and this funny thing called commitment.

The Atlantic Article: A Million First Dates

(Caveat Corner: There is some language in this post. Yeah, that kind of language. )

Some things to talk about amongst ya-selves:

1. What has been your experience with online dating?
2. What expectations did/do you have for online dating?
3. Does your logic, experience, fear or fondness impact whether or not you encourage your friends to try online dating?
4. “I’m about 95% certain that if I’d met Rachel offline, and if I’d never done online dating, I would’ve married her.” – Author  In light of today’s “instant access” culture, how do you see this impacting dating and marriages? Do you think the article represented the different sides of the issue fairly?
5. How can we avoid becoming cynical about this technological reality, especially if we are dating online?
6. As married people, how can we develop or reframe our thinking about commitment in a world where new people are only one click away?  And, how do we avoid living in fear that our spouse will be lured away by the “litany of alternatives?”
7. With so many in our generation feeling the impact of our own parents broken marriages, why do you think that personal pain is not more of a catalyst for people to value commitment in dating differently? Do you think people think about how their ability to commit will impact their children someday?
8. Do you think our generation thinks about the future years of companionship? Front porch rocking chair kind of companionship? How would we live differently if “future” vs. “the now” was a value?
9. Why do you think so many people, believers or not, desire  “commitment?” Yet why do you think so many people, believers or not, fear it?
10. What examples of commitment do we see in Scripture?

Extra Credit: Let’s hear a few of your funny dating stories—on or offline.

Guess what, friends?  There is nothing new under the sun and God has given us freedom to make our own choices. If the conversation about online dating or technology in general has suddenly turned sour, remember this—people were unfaithful before technology.  Y’know what Jesus said about that whole gauging-the-eye-out thing, right? This stuff isn’t new to Him and, to me, that’s the freeing part.

I also don’t think God sees our desire to try something new—whether technology, dating or online dating—as sin. However, I do think we should be aware of how we date and what we do when we are married, so that we can make informed decisions about our engagement in these things and whether or not it will benefit or detract from the richness of commitment to others—present or future.

From my heart,

Joy

P.S.  Because I know you’re wondering—Yes, I did do a post about eHarmony a while ago.