Ask Joy

My friend just started to date this guy three weeks ago.  In the first two weeks he had cried four times and made her cry twice. Everyone she has talked to, including me, has told her to leave this guy, but she won’t listen. I’m worried about her, so I guess my question is how can I help her make the right choice?

My Response

This is a tough question. I don’t know why they are both crying so much…malfunctioning tear ducts?  My guess is that if everyone around your friend is saying he isn’t a good guy, then this is a red flag that she will hopefully see.

It’s so encouraging to know she has a friend like you that wants to help her make the right choice. However, I would encourage you in this stage where she “isn’t listening” to simply ask her a lot of questions.

When I talk to people who experienced bad relationships, they will often admit they knew it wasn’t right and had people telling them to be careful. If this really isn’t right, I am sure your friend knows that, but is in denial.

Get her talking and just listen.

Be genuine in your love for her and be prayerful that if the time is right for you to be bold, that the Lord will open that door naturally.

One of my favorite verses is 2 Timothy 1:7.  “The Lord has not given you a spirit of fear, but of Power, Love and Self-Control.”  When you meet with your friend, pray that you will have the power to say and ask the things that are necessary, love her so much that she feels safe, and the self-control to keep your mouth shut when you just need to listen.

You’re a good friend—Trust the power of Christ in you, in this situation.

From my heart,

Joy