Whats a “Formal Lunch” you ask? Make sure to read and watch THIS first…otherwise, the video probably won’t make sense. It’s a continuation from Part 1.
Are you about to push play anyways?
Seriously…I’m watching you. Watch Part 1 first…or else.
Join the “Formal Lunch” and let me know what you think about these questions that Erin and Jenny are asking…What would you say to them?
Don’t be shy Nancy.*
Billy*, I know you’re dying to join the discussion.
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.
From My Heart
All of the Love and Respect Now Posts…In One Place!
Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs on Marriage, Parenting, Family of Origin, Work & Death
Fighting for Love (and Other Potentially Hazardous Cliches)
I’m enjoying these little Formal Lunches. I have heard about the shoulder to shoulder thing about men before just haven’t seen it in action in my personal life. However, I don’t have a lot of guy friends at the moment. I used to but then they all got married and that shifted the dynamics of our relationship. Anyhoo, thanks for the great convo. I’m enjoying the discussions.
I totally dig. well. err thing. about this blog. but regarding being ‘in relation’ with men I feel that getting know them in a non-romantic needs to happen in that shoulder to shoulder concept. I used to boulder but more recently I run with guy friends (again with the not being able to breath and talk) but I agree with Joy in general conversations regarding love, relationships, etc can for us women be a way to be emotionally intimate with someone (and that whole heart is deceitful deal allows us to believe we’re just ‘curious’) in a way that satisfies our desires for relationship. It can be beautiful when it works but painful when it doesn’t!
Okay, again, LOVING this. I think you, Joy, hit the nail on the head when you talked about wanting to know how the men in your life want to be loved and having that be your ONLY motive. And I agree with you, Laura, that if it’s about trying to get love out of those men for ourselves rather than simply loving them, it can be a very painful experience. Our curiosity develops into expectation and our expectation grows. Curiosity and expectation aren’t necessarily bad, but when they are born out of our desire to discern our value in the eyes of the men in our lives in a roundabout way it can get really unhealthy, destructive, and painful real quick.
Joy, again, a fabulous post. I’m completely enjoying this, and am looking forward to my own little formal lunches with my friends…if I can get them all together at once.
I had never heard it put so simply before, but it makes sense that men will be more open in shoulder to shoulder discussions. Also looking forward to implementing that in my life. (:
Kate – So hot always.
Makeda – Any luck on trying it out yet? What about the asking a question followed by an extended (and somewhat uncomfortable) pause?? (-:
Laura – Good points. And remember, while romantic relationships will create lots of face to face conversations, once you are dating and married, guys still are energized by shoulder to shoulder time.
Haley – Exactly Haley, so well said. It can be very painful.
When it DOES move into a dating situation we need to be balanced in assessing what are healthy needs vs. demands and how we can respectfully express those needs while graciously giving someone the space to give it a shot. But above all, remembering that we BOTH will need to serve one another and desire to meet each other’s needs for it to be healthy. Then once it moves into marriage we will probably often feel like we are giving more, but that’s just part of the nature of serving another human being. And ultimately we serve human beings to honor and serve Christ.
Ok, I just went off on a tangent. haha. Bring it back Joy.
Kaitlyn – I look forward to hearing what happens during the discussion! That is going to be so cool.
FYI, I was looking in a mirror telling all of those things to myself as I wrote them.
Okay, not really. But it wouldn’t be a bad idea.
kate thinks...
jenny abegg = so hot right now.
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