Ask Joy

I have this friend. He is my best friend. We write music together, build websites together, and do cooking shows together. We’ve been friends for three years. I’ve started developing strong feelings for him. I don’t know if I should have these feelings. I am really attracted to his heart and to him, but I don’t know if he likes me. I am keeping quiet about it. I want him to start it because he is the man and I think the guy should start the relationship.

What should I do? Should I ignore my feelings?

My Response

Tell him to check out my site today, and maybe he will figure out that you like him!

If things work out, I would like you to build a website that only plays YouTube videos of people singing about and making macaroni simultaneously.

What I really think you need to do is take a deep breath. I know you probably feel like you are going crazy, but this is the excitement and anxiety of having an unrequited crush on someone. This situation is actually great and gets me excited. Why?

Because you don’t know that he doesn’t like you…

I believe you WILL get an answer. Just be willing for it to come on a different time schedule than you would prefer, and remember that it might not be what you dreamed up in your head.

The reality is, you have a best friend who could potentially be a boyfriend. If you want him to start the relationship, you need to wait. But DO NOT start acting weird. Simply keep doing what you know.

Be his best friend.

Then pray.

Then talk to a godly older woman about your feelings, and she will help you proceed more specifically because she will know your temperament and the situation better than I do.

She may tell you that it’s OK to drop hints of interest, but she may also tell you that you need a reality check and that you think you are better friends with him than he does.

But whatever it is, the only thing I can tell you from what you have written is not to ignore your feelings. How would that contribute to the possibility of his pursuing you? In my opinion, ignoring the feelings would be closing the door.

You may be disappointed or get your heart broken. You may find a healthy relationship or even a husband. But for now, you know what you have: a best friend.

It may be for a season or it may be for life…

From my heart,

Joy