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9

Ask Joy: Fooled by Facebook

Ask Joy

How can I stop from getting emotionally attached to boys on Facebook? It has become a vicious cycle for me with different guys. Please help me!

My Response

First I want to honor you for being introspective and aware that this is happening to you.  My guess is you’re not alone, but most people aren’t intuitive enough to recognize. Well done.

However, if you believe it’s unhealthy and “vicious,” I think most people would conclude you should shut down Facebook. Trust me, the sun will still come up if people don’t know from your status update that it was “such a beautiful sunrise this morning!”

We are emotional creatures, and getting attached to some degree is normal. Don’t be hard on yourself. But, if you are becoming emotionally attached to men on Facebook who you don’t interact with on a day-to-day basis, it becomes unhealthy. You are setting yourself up for unrealistic triggers to your emotions.

What should trigger your emotions?

A REAL man. Not the idea of that man based off the hot picture he posted of himself holding his new niece at the beach… in his new American Apparel sweatshirt… holding a guitar in his other hand… while the sun is setting… and Catcher in the Rye just happens to be strategically placed on his towel in the background… next to his TOMS shoes.

Oh, and I would also talk to someone who knows you who’s older and wiser—maybe even a counselor—just so you can understand yourself and have insight when a “healthy 3-D” relationship comes along. (No, falling in love with Justin Bieber at his 3-D movie is not the type of “healthy 3-D” I am talking about.)

From my status update loving heart,

Joy

P.S. You might find this video I did helpful: “Johnny, Facebook and Porn Oh My!”

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9 Comments

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    • wendy thinks...

      This can also be a danger for married women, if not just creating awkward relationships. I shut down facebook 2 months ago, and…I lived! And I still have a life! Yeah, it surprised me, too. I’m just sayin’… it’s ok to let it go if you want/need to.

      Reply| at |

    • David thinks...

      Facebook is a lot like what happens when unicorns take a crap. The unicorns are awesome but the crap is still poo.

      Catcher in the Rye is rad. I think I’ll go to the beach…with my guitar….and TOMS…and niece….and American Apparel sweatshirt….and unicorn…poo.

      Reply| at |

    • Makeda thinks...

      David, just make sure that you take a picture because otherwise all that effort would be wasted 🙂

      Great response Joy!

      Reply| at |

    • wendy thinks...

      off-subject, but I almost used that unicorn line today when I was reasoning that Burgerville may use grass-fed beef, but it’s still fast food. I’m gonna hafta slip in that analogy about Unicorn Poo *somewhere*…

      Reply| at |

    • Joy thinks...

      Wendy – I address this topic a bit in the video I have attached. Hope you check it out. And use David’s poo analogy.

      David – Glad to have your weirdness back online.

      Makeda – Thank you!

      Reply| at |

    • sharideth smith thinks...

      facebook is dumb. i’m going to put that on my status right now.

      Reply| at |

    • sarah thinks...

      bahahahahaha this is completely unedifying but i can’t express how amazingly funny/true this is:

      “the hot picture he posted of himself holding his new niece at the beach… in his new American Apparel sweatshirt… holding a guitar in his other hand… while the sun is setting… and Catcher in the Rye just happens to be strategically placed on his towel in the background… next to his TOMS shoes.”

      Reply| at |

    • sarah thinks...

      i just read this article again, and then saw my comment and felt i had to clarify. i meant my comment was unedifying, not the article. eek! i loved the article 🙂

      Reply| at |

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