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As I said in the video, the worst thing you can do is put yourself in a box. Five years ago, my strengths were Activator, Relator, Command, Strategic, and Restorative. God designed us with certain strengths, but He doesn’t limit us. He created us with the ability to grow and evolve as transformative creatures in Christ. But I like this type of test because it helps me identify what I am bringing to the table when it comes to work, ministry, and relationships.
“Every strength has a backsided weakness.”
“Hindsight is 20/20.”
Focusing on the positives of my strengths while looking back at my behavior can allow me to be aware of how my personality may contribute to some of my less than flattering dating techniques. Here’s some of the stuff I have been known to do.
(This may prevent me from ever getting asked out again…)
Relator – If I sense someone has a difficult time being open with me, I tend to assume he is hiding something. I’ve come to realize that this assumption may not always be accurate. He may not have the relator strength or feel the need to open up in the way I desire. (Police records, Social Security, SAT scores, etc.)
Futuristic – This means I will link my first name with the last name of any man I meet.
Intellection – I stare. Then I “come to” and realize I’ve been going through the motions of driving, reading or riding my unicorn, but really I’ve been in my head thinking of why he is perfect or why we should break up. I’ve come close to slapping myself. (Honestly, if prayer and trusting God is NOT part of your life, the intellection trait can lead to seclusion, fear, and being paralyzed by your thoughts. It can seem “safer” to stay in mental debate land than to bring your questions before God and wise friends.)
Responsibility – This means that if I say I will marry you, it’s not something I take lightly. I’m like a loyal leech. This is why the relationship I mention in “My Story” was so hard to let go of even though it was the right decision for us.
Activator – In the work setting, this makes me get things done. In the relationship setting, it can be a lethal combination with the futuristic and intellection traits. The presence of these three traits means I often take little snapshots of something I have observed in a man and wonder how that might look 20 years into marriage. I can break up with someone in my head even before we ever go on a date.
The cool part is that when I get in tune with myself, I can recognize how these strengths might affect my feelings and actions. Then, I can take my feelings to God and the wise people around me and say,
“These are my feelings and thoughts right now. They feel very real, but are they right?”
From there, I can hopefully navigate my decisions based on the strengths God has given me in my personality combined with the direction He has given me through His word and His people.
What are you waiting for? Get your narcissistic doobopis* to the site and take the test! It’s insightful, fun, and freeing!
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.