Don’t shed a tear because it’s the final “Monday-One-Day”.
You can always re-watch Parts 1 & 2 every single day until YouTube implodes.
The One: Part 1 – “Is There Only One”
The One: Part 2 – “How Do I Know?”
In Part 3 I will tackle how I have felt called to respond when it feels like there is NO-one.
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.
From My Heart
All of the Love and Respect Now Posts…In One Place!
Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs on Marriage, Parenting, Family of Origin, Work & Death
Fighting for Love (and Other Potentially Hazardous Cliches)
Well, would you look at that, my marriage didn’t turn out the way I thought it would either! Most of it hasn’t been “the way God intended” and has been one big opportunity to be perfected in our obedience. For a while I misunderstood and thought God wasn’t good. But He IS, and we keep striving for being perfected through our obedience and while sometimes we feel the suffering more than other times, this is by far, the best place to be: under God’s goodness, letting Him work on us. That is the one constant!
Joy, this is probably one of the most encouraging things I’ve heard in a long time. As a single gal living in San Francisco, the idea of learning “obedience through suffering” has not been an easy one to grasp. Thank you for putting your thoughts out here..love it!
Thanks Wendy. My marriage did not turn out like I intended either. I am hoping that I will understand.
a) that picture is ah-ma-zing! i know happy thoughts are pretty easy to come by, but where did you get the fairy dust?
2. love these videos…i needed to hear from someone like me, my age, feeling like i’ve been obedient and don’t have major issues but still haven’t found “the one.” it’s not my fault and it’s not a “well done” from Christ either. never looked at it that way. 🙂
d-can’t wait for more videos! also, do you think i could get walter’s phone #…email? no? ok, just asking.
Joy you are so awesome and such a blessing. Thank you for this! So encouraging!! Have a great week!
That is such a good perspective, Joy. Thank you. I agree with these other ladies… I’m finally realizing (still single at 30) that marriage is not the end-all-be-all. It will be tough and there will be times of suffering just like now in my singleness. And to use Jon Acuff’s phrasing, Future (Married) Me is going to hate Present (Single) Me for pining away for marriage when I hit a rough time and wish I were single again! So I’m trying to enjoy this season and like you said, recognize that I don’t have to be married to impact the world or those around me. The point is to be more like Christ, no matter what your marital status.
Thank you for being such a shining example of this, Joy. I can tell you’ve shed as many tears as the rest of us, but you are directing your energy to making a difference… and you are. You and Walter. 🙂
Jacinta – You are awesome too! Love your name. Yes – continual growth needs to be our perspective.
Wendy – Well said. And you need to make your name linkable to your site so people can see your melted brownies!! (-: So great meeting you.
Stacy – You’re welcome. I am learning it right along with you. So encouraged that you were encouraged. You are not alone.
Jennifer – Stay strong!
Beth – I keep fairy dust in my back pocket. Walter is unlisted. He is so high maintenance.
Kelsey – You are welcome. Hearing this great feedback from you all blesses me and gives me hope that the Lord is honored through this discussion of our questions, thoughts and desires — which is my hope!
Darcie – What are tears. I know very little about that. (-; Thanks for your words.
Too wild that I saw your post the same day this video passed my way. You’re both great women…!
wrong Wendy 😉 …but I’m interested in seeing these melted brownies!
Totally agree with the whole idea of marriage not being a “reward” or lack of marriage not being a “punishment”. Marriage is a blessing, and just that. It isn’t because we have earned it or reached some point in our relationship with God where He feels we’re “ready”. It’s just a gift from God. And gifts aren’t earned, they are given out of love. And it doesn’t mean that He loves us “single people” any less, it just means He hasn’t given us that gift yet.
Very encouraging post. Thanks Joy!
Joy,
Right wendy. Am I linkable? And I’ll teach you how to make those brownies if you teach me how to float.
P.S My marriage is good. Not perfect, but turning out how I intended. Except when he called me fatty arms when we were on our 10 year anniversary trip. Watch and learn . . . or maybe learn nothing and just laugh.
http://hagenhoopla.blogspot.com/2011/01/when-your-husband-calls-you-fat.html
Thank you so much for these posts Joy. 🙂 So enlightening. God bless you!
wow. this was powerful and your heart is so so beautiful. i had tears by end of the video. thank you for sharing your own doubts and unknowns along with the truth of His Word. you are a gift.
listening to your hypothetical at the end about our years of impact possibly coming in our 90s… for me i think i more struggle with wondering what if my time of impact and influence and significance was in the past 13 years… it magnifies my “now what?” and “what’s next” in an even darker way. i don’t expect you to have some answer… just wanted to express a different perspective of the same struggle.
love you and am so grateful for you, joy.
Leah – I tweeted the video you sent. It was incredible. I wish I could flow like that!
Wrong Wendy – See the Wendy below. That’s who I thought you were! She has a great blog you should check out. Click on her name and you will be taken there.
Emily – “Gift’s aren’t earned, they are given.” Well said.
Right Wendy – You know how to link — see your name takes us to your site. That’s what I meant. The video you posted is fantastic. Love, your soon to be adopted daughter that is only a few years younger than you.
Tina – You are welcome!
Alece – I like your question. That would totally be something that would cross my mind. So as I thought about it and what it means to be a human being who is seeking after His Kingdom then there is no way we can stop being used. We can have seasons that the world would deem as more significant than others, but if scripture is continuing to be revealed to us as we ask the Holy Spirit to enter into our life and relationship, then there is no way we wouldn’t continue to grow and be used. The only way our “time” could be in the past is if we stopped asking Him to use us. However in our limited humanity we may not see what it means to be used for awhile or possibly even until Heaven when the Lord will say…”see…this is My bigger story that you were part of. This is why I had to do what I did…Thank you for being willing in the midst of what you didn’t understand. Thank you for being willing in the midst of your pain.”
We WILL be used if we are WILLING. Our life is but a blip so we may not ever fully understand.
Wow! Thank you for sharing your perspective of suffering in our singleness in order to become more obedient to God as well as Christlike. Yes, I certainly want to be used by God to help my generation and the next generation of men and women to effectively communicate and thrive in their relationships with one another and with God.
It’s taken me a whole week to think on this suffering business, while I don’t like it I can appreciate and respect God’s Christlike purpose in it all. Learning to share in the sufferings of Christ (Phil 3:10)is part of the intimacy we have with Him. Paul reassures us that as the sufferings abound so does the consolation. (2 Cor 1:5). The Romans writer reassures us “For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. ” And James tells us “if anyone is suffering we should pray” James 5:10. So we are not left unequipped for the suffering business for sure. To be aware we are appointed to suffering in Christ must be a sign of growth. Thank u Lord!
Single, married, or single-again we all have our portion of pain, loneliness, tears, and struggles. Learning how to walk fully graced in it is my desire. Strange and wonderful as it is Jesus blends rejoicing in it. Sharing in His suffering is our privilege until it’s fulfilled. No more suffering in heaven. It will finish! Amen
I’ve heard many pastors and Christian speakers talk about how their marriage has smoothed out their rough edges; that living in the married state has cause them to die to themselves and be a better follower of Christ. As a never-married woman in my late 30’s I would jokingly think to myself “Well, I must be doing OK then…I guess I don’t need marriage to smooth out my rough edges.” I knew it couldn’t be true though. LOL. Then I had a conversation with a friend and she commented that her singleness was God’s way of helping her be a better person. The switch flipped for me and I realized that what God did for others through marriage he is doing through singleness for me. I don’t know why, and I may never understand it. But for right now it is part of his plan–for my good and possibly some other greater good–for me to be single. That doesn’t make the lonely times less lonely, but it does give me a higher purpose to hold on to than just feeling like I’ve been left out of some secret shared by all the married people of the world.
Thank you for this insight!
This is FANTASTIC! Thank you Joy!
So glad this was the “Kick-back Post!” God has been teaching me along these lines, and this really hit it home. One thing I recently read in a book called, Inside Out, was about our “demandingness.” The point was, we can be willing to suffer while internally counting on (more like demanding) God to bring about the end we want to see happen. So, how do we cleanse ourselves of demanding our own way in the midst of suffering? I think that learning a new perspective as Joy pointed out is extremely important! Watch and re-watch this post!!!
Jacinta thinks...
That. Was. Brilliant. You make such sense. You’re like… sense verbalised. I have been discussing the first two videos you posted for this topic with my friends. I think it puts too much pressure on a person if we’re believing for a ‘one’, life doesn’t suddenly get ‘better’ and we’re not (like Sid the sloth says to Manny in Ice Age about another mammoth) ‘complete’ once we have someone. Just like life doesn’t change instantly once we’re 21; we’re not suddenly ‘adults’. We’re still growing and changing constantly (hopefully closer and closer to God), and we should continue to once we’ve ‘got someone’, just… being obediant wherever we’re at… yea. This coming from a girl not in a relationship, who has just observed a fair bit recently. You’re just awesome Joy. I do like you’re posts. oh so funny too.
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