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How do I talk to my boyfriend about his temptations? I haven’t seen anything or experienced anything with him that makes me concerned, but I think it would be naive to assume he doesn’t struggle. I know that I do, and I guess I just want an open conversation. Maybe just be honest about my own struggles and ask him about his?
Pray. Don’t discount this instruction as “Joy is just saying this because she loves Jesus.”
Prayer has power, and it’s incredible to invite God into the timing of your life. Pray for the conversation to happen just as it should and when it should.
As you stated, you want to be open about your struggles. Your openness can be disarming and inviting if the person is ready and willing.
Well outside of being untactful (such as telling the guy on the elevator about your pesky bunan problem when he never even said hello), the Christian life is about being transparent. Living your life in the dark does not promote growth; however, being vulnerable is different.
Vulnerability is transparency with an added layer of entrusting the listener to enter into your emotions. It’s asking the listener to be active in his or her response and even speak into your life or take on some of your burden. This should not be done with everyone. It would be unwise to do so. Just because you want to be vulnerable with someone doesn’t necessarily mean it’s the right time.
Note: You also shouldn’t expect their vulnerability to look the same as yours. They don’t cry? They don’t tell details? They don’t dwell on daddy issues? This is where prayer for discernment comes in.
You might want to ask yourself…
Are they not sharing because they don’t feel the need to process all the details (which may be your definition of vulnerable), or do you sense they are hiding things from you? Allow for people to be different in how they share, but be on guard against someone who is keeping secrets.
There is a huge difference…
More to come!
What do you think about my description of transparency and vulnerability? Do you think there is a way to tell the difference between someone simply not being vulnerable when/how you want them to be vs. them hiding something from you?
Do you have a story of praying through a situation like this? What happened?
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.