Stay Connected
Don't leave just yet. Besides these articles, sometimes I send out extra special stuff. Don't miss out. Sign up here.
Hannah and I have a long history of friendship. And by long history, I mean we’ve had a few hours of in-person face time. I was at Catalyst, and my friend Jeff said, “Hey, you need to meet my friend Hannah.” Jeff is either really good at knowing who will hit it off or just gifted at figuring out how to ditch me,
…but, whatever his motivation, it worked.
Hannah and I sat in a corner, literally almost eyeball to eyeball, and talked for about three hours straight. Her boyfriend stopped by our conversation when we apparently
looked approachable enough to have visitors join the powwow. We looked at him and simultaneously said, “She’s my new BFF.”
In that brief time, I also found out that my BFF is an INCREDIBLE artist. I told her about my project, and here we are today…
A smart man once told me that comparing yourself to others steals away your joy. It’s really easy to do though when society is constantly telling us what we should be,
…when we should get married,
…what we should look like, and how we should act. Don’t get me wrong, I love knowing the latest trends and partaking if it’s something I love and can afford.
When it comes to marriage though, there is so much pressure. Some people have this timeline of exactly when and how it’s “supposed” to happen. Some people see the results of marriages in their lives and decide it’s not EVER worth it. I personally desire marriage in my future, but I’m really exhausted by the constant pressure. I want to be able to live in THIS moment. The one I’m currently in. Not tomorrow, or next month.
Today.
I created this piece for the illumination project because a lot of the time I think it takes getting above all the noise to find our own answers and peace about where we are in life. It takes us away from the comparisons, opinions, corrupted views on marriage, and helps us find a different way of life.
Also, I think hot air balloons are really cool.
All the statistics and opinions on marriage can contribute to fear and paralyzation. As Hannah said, how do you “get above all the noise” to get in tune with your God designed desires and not let fears or man’s opinion be the loudest?
How do you balance listening to wise counsel with not letting that counsel dictate your life?
Stay Connected
Don't leave just yet. Besides these articles, sometimes I send out extra special stuff. Don't miss out. Sign up here.
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.
Julie – I love your response! You are so right about counsel. I think it’s so necessary to have wise counsel in our lives and but still be able to make decisions for ourselves. Do you think I could borrow your friend next time I need to buy a car? Or get married?
When you start a sentence off with “Don’t be jealous,” I’m totally going to be jealous. Thanks for that 😉
at |
Don’t be jealous. I’m going to see Hannah next week in Atlanta and we have a “painting party” planned. I’ll take notes.
at |
Love the questions you’ve posed here, Joy, and happen to be a major fan of Hannah, as well. I think you’re dead on in wanting to hear “above the noise,” and can say two years into marriage that even once that check-box is marked, many more *noisy* boxes will arise (when are you having kids, how many kids are having, will you home-school, or do vaccines, or let your kid date before 16…barf). That said, I think another important piece in this conversation is us learning to “hear well” and hear noises that are “Kingdom noises” vs the shouts of culture and trends around us. Whether you marry at 20, or 60, or never, you have an eternal marriage pursuing you from this day forward…and when I can get my head half-way around that truth, and actually find the grace to believe it, it helps my obsessions with time and pressure and deadlines pail.
YES! I did answered an Ask Joy question once from someone who wanted to know, “What do I do when my wise counsel(s) have differing opinions!” Knowing how to discern is huge. Plus, if we believe Scripture, we know we have the ability to be given wisdom and discernment ourselves if we ask. Aligning any opinions to God’s heart and His goodness is the wisest move we can make.
Also, I think your kids shouldn’t be allowed to date until at least pre-school. (-;
Abbie – this is just one of the reasons I love you so much. You are SO wise.
“I think another important piece in this conversation is us learning to “hear well” and hear noises that are “Kingdom noises” vs the shouts of culture and trends around us.”
I feel like we’ve talked about this before – What it comes down to is that different people approach things different ways. I’m with you, I want to figure things out right now in this moment and actually enjoy it before I jump into the next one. I think every other day someone asks “when are you getting married?” and while it could paralyze me I’m confident that I am in tune with what the Lord is doing in my life and where he is leading… and that’s really all I need. I’m all about wisdom from people that have gone before me and I will soak up everything they are willing to offer… but at the end of the day I know that where I am is where the Lord has brought me and I am trusting that when you live life with him you don’t find yourself missing out or in the wrong place. [That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good. Romans 8:28 MSG]
MC! I love your heart. You remind me to make sure I don’t assume people’s intentions. Confidence in who and where we are in God is so important; and YOU are a great example of someone who lives that out.
My favorite thing you said is “but at the end of the day I know that where I am is where the Lord has brought me and I am trusting that when you live life with him you don’t find yourself missing out or in the wrong place.” I was recently in a discussion with some friends talking about choices we have made and what we may have missed out on – or what we will miss out on even if we make the “right” decision. BUT, you are right. We can’t miss out on anything worth something if we are living life with Him!
Whoa-wow-whoa.
First, incredible painting. Second, Hannah you and I are apparently hearing the same whispers as I just wrote a few weeks back: “Why Life Will Never Feel Like It’s Supposed To”
“Supposed to” is a lie. A fairy tale. It is the stealer of peace and productivity. It is the leading cause of Obsessive Comparison Disorder with everyone who “has it better.”
Thank you Hannah for this visual/amazing reminder that if we’re always trying to live like we’re “supposed to”, we’re never going to actually live.
Julie (@julespreever) thinks...
First of all, Holy Talent, Batman! I went to your site, Hannah, and was blown away. I wouldn’t mind a few pieces hanging in my home one of these days.
I find it hard to get above the noise lately. Not on the marriage subject necessarily, but just in general. Part of me feels like locking myself in my home and shutting everything except the air conditioner off for a few days. Not sure that that will help since it’s mental noise as much as outside noise.
I think when you seek wise counsel, it’s just that. Counsel. It’s not something tell you what to do or else, which I think could probably happen sometimes. As long as you go into it knowing that this is someone that you greatly respect and know that you need to listen, but then still make up your own mind, I think you’re good. It’s not exactly the same, but I’ve got a friend I call EVERY time I make a major purchase. She’s always made good decisions and I respect her opinion greatly. She even went to test drive cars with me last time I bought one 🙂 But in the end, it was still my decision which one to buy. She gave me her opinions, we ran numbers with insurance quotes, etc., and then I made the decision.
Did I just compare marriage to buying a car? 😉
| at |