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Why are women so materialistic and only want to date guys with nice cars?
-Jordan
Well, Jordan, let me answer your question with a question–what type of women are you dating who are so materialistic?
You mentioned something in your letter about eight times that I finally realized was at the root of it all. (More on that in the video.)
The issue, my friend, goes beyond the car and the money and the material possessions.
Could it be that you’re sensitive in this area because of an isolated experience with one particular woman?
Maybe God designed you to want to provide for your wife and your family someday…and that is a good thing. But, if you’ve been hurt by one woman’s words in the area of provision, then that God-given desire you most likely possess can be twisted and manipulated into viewing all women in the same way.
Here’s the thing–not all women are shopaholics. If you are a man who is driven, a good woman will be drawn to that, not a price tag.
From my patterned-socks-loving heart,
Joy
Have you ever been discouraged from dating because people seem so materialistic?
What are some of the deep-seeded insecurities that could cause a person to be overly sensitive in certain areas, particularly when it comes to material things like cars, clothes, careers, etc.?
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Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.
Not just dating relationships. My insecurities keep me from going deeper into current relationships and sometimes keep me from beginning new ones. My personality profile says I’m an extrovert, but sometimes I don’t really feel it. I love meeting new people, but the fear of saying something completely stupid is overwhelming at times. And it’s not an irrational fear. I say stupid things a lot. 😉 Insecurities about the way I look or dress when I go into new places where I’m not known are scary to me, I guess because I don’t know what the norm is there. Here I’m known and I know what’s expected or normal. But here is my comfort zone. My current relationships are comfortable. And while they continue to grow deeper, I sometimes crave the experience of getting to know someone all over again, as scary as that is to me.
Thanks for letting me have a place to ramble through my thoughts 🙂
A. Darling (@AronDarling) thinks...
1. Yes I have been discouraged by some women whom I know are expecting ‘X’ or ‘Y’; but that is their decision, and they will reap the consequences of it. The man that could provide all the love of their life may pass right under their nose (no pun intended); the one who will provide for her true needs and would treat her like the princess she is. A man may be so emasculated that he doesn’t look up and see the wonderful and respectful woman right in front of him; the one who would challenge him to grow and would encourage him to provide more and more for himself, not just their family.
2. Categorizing; all men are like this, all women are like that. When pain is involved –no matter the gender– we may take things personal that are not meant that way; especially when it is something that has hurt us in the past. We have to be aware of these ‘trigger words’ in our lives. We have to be careful of cultural stereotypes also; understanding and being intentional about what we say and how we say it should alleviate any misunderstandings.
Ex. Be cautious about what you say and when you say it too; a while back a female friend made a blanket statement “I would not marry any of the men in this ministry;” this totally hurt me, we are great friends and are not interested in dating each other, but I was still covered by the “men” portion of the blanket statement. I did not bring it up, but she noticed I was there and asked some of the other women who were there “If they thought that could’ve been hurtful to me” to which they all said “no”, but she called later to see if it had and I told her “yes” to which we talked a bit about it and came to a close where she very respectfully apologized. Blanket statements can be dangerous too, be careful.
$0.02
$0.27 Real Life Example from a selfish man:
What a great post! I grew up in a poor family; the first time I took my Ex-Wife home –no, obviously she was not my Ex-Wife at the time I took her home — and we returned to sunny California where she had grown up she asked if we could stay in a hotel when we went home. I was totally offended; I grew up in that environment and saw nothing wrong with living that way. Could I be more selfish? She loved me the way I was and didn’t care about where I came from, it was simply not the way she wanted to live. In my immaturity I did not understand what she was communicating and because of the lack of godly Men and training in my life I continued to resent her and her “way of life” along with her upbringing. My lack of willingness to change, love and provide for my Ex-Wife is why she is now my Ex-Wife.
Since my divorce and being that I live in Southern California I doubt I will be able to find me a Red-Neck Woman like where I grew up. I have grown tremendously over the past three years or so. Surrounded myself with some awesome godly Men and have learned so much more on what sacrificial love is; both in my personal life and in ministry work. Some folks have more, some have less; but all are called to use what they have to the Glory of God!
PS
Thank you Joy, that was a great video.
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