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9

Ask Joy: Respect for Women, too?

Ask Joy

Hi Joy,

Most of the time, I hear “respect” talked about as if it’s primarily a man’s thing.  But, respect is really important to me, as a woman–I know this because of the inner temper-tantrum I feel whenever I feel disrespected.  I don’t just mean respect in a sexual sense (in fact, that’s the least of my worries).  I crave respect as an adult, as a professional and as a Christian.  To me, respect means acknowledging my right to make my own decisions.  It means not being talked down to and, instead, being listened to and understood before being rejected.  So, my question is, do you hear other women talking about a similar need for respect?  Or, am I just in a greedy minority who wants both love and respect?

My Response

First, you are not in the greedy minority.  I’ve addressed this in a couple other places on my site, but I love the way you phrase your question because I resonate with it so much.  You can watch the video for my full answer but, just to give you a few ideas to chew on, here are some things I talk about:

  • Trail running, train tracks, and throwing up.
  • Sometimes, there’s a misunderstanding of the Love and Respect message.
  • Men and women both need love and respect equally.
  • There’s something deeper going on when we talk about the two.
  • Famous people…with a request.

…and more.

(Can’t see this video? Watch it here in YouTube.)

From my heart,

Joy

Questions

What comes to mind when you hear the word “respect?”

Have you ever experienced or seen “exceptions” to the love and respect pattern?

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Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.

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9 Comments

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    • Douglas thinks...

      Great, as always.
      And yet, we neglected to answer the far more important question of what exactly was going on with Joy’s pants. The people demand to know!

      Reply| at |

      • Joy thinks...

        No one would believe me if I said that they were borrowed. That is what is going on, but I like them!

        Reply| at |

        • Douglas thinks...

          They aren’t bad, just interesting. I assumed it was just something with the light. Then I thought jeggings, and that would just be a NO.

          Reply| at |

    • Melanie thinks...

      haha@ your response to the Kardasian question. I am obsessed with Khloe. Somehow she inspires me, even though I fight it (lol… can someone say “Paul”). Anyway I pray for the whole lot of em. Thank for being such an inspiration Joy. And I know your Boaz is just around the corner!!! Blessings on ya<3

      Reply| at |

      • Joy thinks...

        Thanks for your kind words! I think I’ve only seen a few minutes of the show, but I get nervous because I know I can get sucked into that stuff! But hey, if you say it’s an inspiration…

        Reply| at |

        • Melanie thinks...

          Yea, I hear ya! I watched the show for like one season, but can’t seem to sop stalking Khloe lol. Lord help me. I guess I relate to a few of her struggles on weight, mother/daughter struggles, interacial dating, etc.

          Reply| at |

    • Susie Lee thinks...

      If someone I have dated for 15 months refuses to stop having sex with me or to marry me, after I told him sex outside of marriage is not a Christian thing to do. Is he being disrespectful?

      He said he already has a couple of failed marriages and a few bad relationship

      Reply| at |

      • Joy thinks...

        Hi Susie,

        The short answer is yes: He is being disrespectful.

        The long answer is: I think you know that in your heart. I also think you need to evaluate “why” you think something is a Christian thing to do or not and what God’s heart is behind giving you instructions on how to live. A large part is that He wants you to honor your own body, have respect for yourself and your future children by keeping the act of sex within a covenant bond. Scripture also asks people who believe to seek wisdom. You state that he has already had multiple failed marriages and even though I don’t know the details, it seems like if your desire is to be married, you aren’t necessarily being that wise in who you choose. That would kind of be like saying, “Hey I think I want to have kids with this person who has already given their first two kids up for adoption, but I can hope they will want to keep this next one.”

        First and foremost, if you are calling yourself a Christian I would encourage you to get to know the heart of God. Open up the Bible, pray and seek wisdom. Find a pastor at your church who you can talk to as well. And here’s a video you might find interesting… http://ow.ly/ni1eo

        Reply| at |

    • Melanie thinks...

      Also, a small testimony on dating: I was very disfunctional in this area my WHOLE life for more reasons than one. I always wanted to get married like most girls, but knew that if/when i did, God was going to have to give me some extra special attention. Aaaand I was right, lol. I stopped “dating” when I became a Christian, because I was dating Jesus for a while and the couple of time I did date, it was a still a mess. SO, I continued serving God and praying about my future, my husband. After almost 15yrs as a Christian, my husband and I met through an avenue, ONLY the Lord could have led us to. I would love to share our story with you. But I can testify that the Lord hears our prayers, sees our tears and answers!!!

      Reply| at |

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