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For the first half of my marriage I hadn’t read the Love and Respect book.
Now, the book has completely transformed the way I treat my husband and has made our marriage so much better. He is a great father and very funny— I even feel I have more than I could ask for in some regards.
At the same time, he tends to struggle at meeting my needs emotionally.
I finally broke down after some time and told him what I needed, which I really think gave him a wake-up call. For a few weeks, things started to change, but now it’s slowly going back to where we originally began.
I really don’t want to keep acting immaturely and having outbursts like this. Can you help me here? Are my expectations unrealistic?
The important question to ask in this situation is: Am I trying to find all of my emotional needs being met only by my husband?
If we solely look to our significant other to meet all of our needs, they will eventually fail us whether they want to or not.
In this case, if you feel that your expectations are realistic, emphasizing and defining what your specific needs are and coaching your husband on what you need is just as vital as him making hints on his needs.
As my dad puts it, we need to do this dance by giving one another some information lovingly and respectfully and letting them act on it.
And no, we’re not talkin’ about salsa dancing here…unless y’all are into that sort of thing.
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Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.