My plan today was to write a “Stuff I Like” blog post on an Album called “The Followers.”  But when I woke up this morning, I didn’t expect to hear the news that our dear family friend Carolyne, had died in the night in a house fire.

It makes me a little nauseous to even write that.

But then I think back to the last conversation I had with Carolyne just a couple weeks ago on her 78^th birthday.  Much of it was filled with Carolyne’s boisterous laugh which could fill far corners of any room.  On the other end of the room was the reality that due to her failing health, Carolyne desperately wanted to go home and be with Jesus. She was a woman who had lived a very hard life and she was ready to be home with her Lord in the Promised Land.

Carolyne had been raped when she was a teenager and became pregnant from that rape.  When she realized she couldn’t take care of the child, she decided to give her baby up to have a better life.  All on her own she worked hard to get an education and get to a place where she too could “have a better life” for herself.  Eventually, as an adult she became a nurse.  It was during those nursing days that she met my father.

I got choked up this morning as I recalled her favorite story about my dad…she’s told me at least 15 times.  She met my father when he was a young associate pastor in California.  He counseled her through a lot of her past pain and suffering.  Carolyne was the first person he ever baptized and she was very proud of that stat.  She was so grateful for their friendship and how he and my mother cared about her.  To show her appreciation she decided she needed to buy this poor, young pastor not one, but TWO new suits.

She would absolutely lose her mind laughing when she quoted my father which was always the punch line of her story. “Well, I guess now I have one suit for marrying and one for burying!”

Carolyne’s love for people and the Lord didn’t stop. Not even when she contracted HIV from one of her patients.  HIV led to diabetes, eventually causing her loss of eye sight and her independence, which she loved so dearly.  And trust me when I say, she was one of the most independent, sassy, wonderful women I have ever met.

Over the years my parents would fly her up from Florida to Michigan to stay for a week. I remember when I was in high school Carolyne came and my parents had to leave for the night. They told Carolyne she was in charge of me.  Boy did she like that!  I came home by curfew, but Carolyne didn’t hear me.  I went downstairs to watch TV and at about 1am I came upstairs for bed.

You would have thought Carolyne had won the lotto.

“I caught you, Joy! Where have you been?!”

She was convinced I was sneaking in and I spent far too much time that evening trying to convince her that I hadn’t.  We’ve probably re-told each other that story at least 14 times and each time laugh hysterically, and according to Carolyne, the jury is still out.

Her “jury” fascination is probably due to the fact that she watched every type of “Judge” show on TV.  Judy, Joe Brown, you name it.  One time I called Carolyne and she told me to call her back later because one of her shows had just come on.  I never let her live that one down.

When her day time television shows weren’t on, Carolyne was probably out to eat with friends, ordering someone in need a gift, at church or at home praying. Carolyne was a woman of prayer. She prayed for my family and had specific things she believed she would see answered.

Personally, I don’t think we will always see the tangible repercussions of our prayers while we are alive, but I know what has warmed my heart in the midst of my sadness today and that is recalling my last conversation with Carolyne.  In that chat I was able to tell her that what she had been praying for me specifically had come true.

She was beside herself.

When I spoke to my mother this morning, she also told me that last week she was able to tell Carolyne how another family prayer request that she had faithfully prayed for was about to be answered.

Amidst that joyful reality, there was also a sad reality.  Carolyne was starting to experience some delusions. It was the most apparent in our last conversation. She thought things were happening that were not. It was very painful for me to hear and I had that sinking feeling of, “Why?” But as Carolyne became panicked on the phone I stopped her and asked if I could pray.  And things changed.

A stillness of her soul and a peace in her tears were heard by my ears.  She slowed down and responded with the truth that she knew the Lord was good and despite her fears, he would protect her.  She also told me about 16 times, “Oh baby Joy, I just love you so much. Know that.”

Carolyne, I know you loved me. I know you loved my family. I know you loved people, even the ones who hurt you. But most of all, you loved Jesus and you were a follower of Him.  It is my privilege to announce to the world that you are with Him now, probably laughing a laugh that is heard in the far corners of heaven.

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There were two songs from the album The Followers that have comforted me today and I can’t help but think of Carolyne.

Be Still

“Who transcends the heavens, how can I get through?”

“You still my soul.”

Canaan

“A breathtaking vision, of your glorious face.

The severity of your love as I lie beneath your gaze.

Extending holy hands to the heavens above.

Come over me, come under me, come take me my love.

Into the promised land, of your life now.”

Preview The Followers Album HERE

Josh White is the lead singer on this album and also a local pastor in Portland at Door of Hope. To check out his podcasts click HERE