Ask Joy

I liked this girl five years ago. I still compare other girls to her physical beauty. Is there something wrong with me since I want someone that I think is similar in body shape and look?

My Response

No, there is nothing wrong with you. We all have different things that we are attracted to and that is ok.

There are a couple things I would be aware of…

1) If you are so set on ONLY dating a girl that looks like this last girl, then you are being unfair to yourself and God’s creation. Just because you are attracted to a particular look, doesn’t mean that you can’t become attracted to a different look when you take the time to get to know someone. Be open.

2) Looks will fade. Sexual attraction will fade. A best friend and life partner will be a bit more reliable in this life. Don’t forget that your looks will go too!

3) If you were physical with this girl from five years ago or look at pornography with women that look like her while sexually fantasizing, it can create a message in the brain that this “type” of look is only what will satisfy you. If this is a pattern you are physiologically setting yourself up for, I suggest you meet with someone and talk through this. It can be unhealthy for you and your future partner and is not honoring to the way God wants you to view women.

From My Heart,
Joy

P.S.  I addressed a similar question in this video…CLICK HERE