If my husband views pornography, am I being stupid for trusting him? Can I separate trust from respect?
What are you thougths?
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.
From My Heart
All of the Love and Respect Now Posts…In One Place!
Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs on Marriage, Parenting, Family of Origin, Work & Death
Fighting for Love (and Other Potentially Hazardous Cliches)
Steve – Did I not counsel the married woman to communicate with power and the single woman to communicate with power? One I assume will stay, the other backed off and let someone else step in. Regardless of how you move forward, the point is that we have a decision to make in how we will shame one another or believe in the other persons ability to change.
Watch the video again–& let me know if you see what I am saying. I think we agree more than you think.
Have a great weekend!
Joy, okay I watched and listened with greater intent. You did indeed counsel both to communicate with power. Although, communicating with “strength” versus “power” is more appropriate (in my eyes) but perhaps that is a matter of semantics. I get your point.
So is it possible to shame one another AND believe in their ability to change? Or are you saying that it is one or the other and not both.
Either way…it stands to reason most new relationships are broken under “heavy and persistent storms” of this nature. As your father states, good-willed Christians will take the time for someone they care about.
L&R,
Steve
Steve – Thanks for watching it again. I appreciate your thoughts and agree that we live in a broken world.
If I am correct in understanding your question, no I don’t think we have license to shame anyone. In my mind this is not effective communication. Especially as Christians I dont believe we have the right to do this.
Confront sin? Yes. Shame? No.
Where do you see the benefit in shaming and showing disrespect to someone in order to help them change?
I liked your answer, Joy. Trust is based on reason and confidence. Respect is something we’re called to as Christians to show to others regardless of their social status or behavior… it has to do with acknowledging the image of God in other people.
I wonder if it’s easier to respect someone you trust, but it isn’t impossible to respect someone you don’t trust. That’s just being wise. In fact, because respect involves an acknowledgment that the other person has a will and control over their actions, sometimes our respect will cause us NOT to trust someone… to cautiously back away, like your friend did. She must be an unusually compassionate person!
Also, your hair looks amazing in this video. Just saying.
-Val
Joy, I don’t believe there is ever a need to shame or disrespect someone. It simply happens and they way most of us are wired. Thankfully, a lot of us are being retired to think differently and subsequently marriages are being saved and relationships improved.
Great discussion. Thanks and God Bless!
What Val said. <3
And in the words of Tiny Tim, God bless us, every one!
Steve thinks...
Wow!!!! Joy, do you honestly believe that it is possible to separate “this” kind of trust & respect. Okay, maybe you can believe it but 99 out 100 women are running the other way and not looking back. This is especially true for a relationship just getting started. Now please know I am trying to put myself in the shoes of the women here and not be judgmental but if I were a woman my first instinct would be to run!!!! Who could blame them?? I am wondering…many things here…In a marriage perhaps there is something to salvage but I am not sure there is anything of consequence for a new relationship. Being single and this incident occurs it is not exactly the foundation on which to base a relationship. Just mho. Have a great weekend!!
L&R,
Steve
| at |