I’m interested in this great person. All my friends say, “Be open to the relationship…but guard your heart.” What does that actually mean?
In relationships have you ever done the wise thing over the pain free thing?
Since most people associate “guarding your heart” with playing it safe, how does one guard his/her heart by the video’s definition?
Any other phrases like “guard your heart” that cause you to pause and think, “Hmmm, what does that actually mean?”
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.
From My Heart
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Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs on Marriage, Parenting, Family of Origin, Work & Death
Fighting for Love (and Other Potentially Hazardous Cliches)
when you “guard your heart” (aka seek wisdom) it makes it easier to guard other parts of your anatomy.
boom. totally wisdomatic.
Esperance – So glad to hear you have been impacted by the message. The way I can hopefully serve your singles, is the same way I am hopefully serving other people – through the videos and content on my site. The only distributor of the L&R book is in South Africa and I believe you are in Central Africa. If you are interested in product being sent over, you can contact joann@loveandrespect.com and she should be able to help answer your product needs. Keep up the good work. Thank you for spreading this truth of Eph. 5:33. God’s goodness is cross-cultural isn’t it!?
Sharideth – Shar Shar Binks always knows best. Boom.
Joy- such a great topic. Have I told you lately that you have a huge gift? you do! I want to send this video to my 18 year old self.
I learned what it means to guard your heart when I “feel in love” with a good looking 21 year old fireman. I told him, on a beach, that I loved him. He didn’t respond. And then he broke up with me. He was a manipulator and I fell for it. After that, I began to guard my heart. I kept dating, but I was more careful. I went to God first instead of last. I decided that mind was equally as important as my heart. Logic and emotions are both part of love… Love you and the work you’re doing! (Oh, wait, I already said that.)
Lesley – You make me blush. I wish I could send this to 18 year old me too. “Logic & Emotions are both part of love.” Exactly what I wish I would have known.
Kind of makes you wonder what 50 year old us wishes they could send us now, huh? God’s word might be a good start.
Joy, thanks for sharing how guarding your heart doesn’t mean avoiding pain…
Just processing…I think I’ve guarded my heart from people in my life because I was afraid to get hurt. However that leads to a life of fear and isolation, which isn’t wise for someone who desires true and genuine fellowship. I need God’s wisdom so I may learn to be authentic but still guard my heart (in terms of personal disclosure). I wonder how I can deal with the fear of pain issue? I’ve been hurt before and got back again, for some reason it feels harder but I can’t make excuses to not love people because I want to protect myself. Love requires a cost, and the risk of being hurt…
At the same time guarding your heart is also what you allow yourself to influenced by… I find my thoughts/perceptions/temptations are needed to be guarded against… to protect the new heart God has given me.
We have a similar sense of humor.
You are adorable. Love your blog. Love your videos.
Joy, loved the video blog..very rich and full of grace! Yes, I have made wise choices over pain free choices. But I have to say some wise choices are not always pain free either. It’s the peace of God that carries one through those wise choices. He guards your heart and mind (Phil.4:7) As I peruse Proverbs, it’s a comfort to know whom wisdom dwells with: prudence, understanding, discretion, and honor. She is better than silver and gold! While occasionally pain maybe momentary with a wise decision the righteousness of it will guard the person who is blameless (Proverbs13:6).
Wisdomatic Proverbs will tell us to guard many things like our soul, mouth, tongue, lips, our way, the king’s teachings and of course our heart. I guess it really boils down to being a good steward of the blessing of life. I desire to not to be so guarded that I’m in bondage, shut down, and coveting the abundant life Jesus promises but rather free like “cheesy bread” in Christ to feel the adventure and passion of the Ageless Romancer (Curtis & Eldredge’s description of God in the Sacred Romance)? Security or freedom in God’s grace, God enables us to explore both!
Elle – Love does require a cost and risk, but having a community around you is so important. Sometimes people can hurt because they are human, sometimes they can hurt because they are unhealthy and you need to remove yourself. When we are in love, it can be hard to tell the difference. That is why you need wise counsel, prayer to help you navigate the hurt.
And that is how discernment is developed.
You have some great insights. Keep trusting His goodness and guidance.
Simple Life – Thanks so much. Excited to check out your blog!
Lisa – What a woman of scripture you are. Always adding a richness to the posts. Thank you. “Security or freedom in God’s grace, God enables us to explore both.” – Love it.
Hey Sweet Friend. I’m sorry to have gone silent on your blog for a few weeks… work has been insane! But this is such an important topic, it makes me excited.
I wonder if the Hebrew concept of the “heart” as being similar to our contemporary concept of our “heads” (according to Doug Moo) comes into play here. You mentioned it near the end of the video when you emphasized the context of wisdom and Scripture-centering as we go about our daily existence.
In Colossians 2:8, Paul urges this church to let no one take them captive by “philosophy and empty deceit”. He seems to be emphasizing the importance of being “full” of Christ in this verse… so full, there’s no room for anything else.
I wonder, if in our romance, sex-saturated era, Paul’s thoughts on being “full of Christ” (just as Solomon urged being “full of wisdom”… remember, Christ is the wisdom of God), is just as pertinent in our relationships as anywhere. If you are full of Christ, there’s no room for insecurity in your decisions with potential mates, and certainly, no room for idolatry.
Miss you!
V
Val – I think you nailed it and broadened the picture. I think human nature will probably always be insecure or fearful of making a wrong decision to some degree, but it will lessen the more our lens is through Christ and not the empty deceit.
Sadly, I think many of our “christian” messages have led us a bit off course as well as we try to navigate dating and decision making. I think as we learn the Wisdom of Christ, it changes our lens before and after marriage. Like you said, keeps us from making any of it an idol – which ultimately allows us to give grace with wisdom…which…is guarding our heart.
Did I just confuse myself?? Hope that made sense.
Yes! I suppose I meant that “guarding your heart” isn’t so much about keeping certain people in or out, though that’s part of it. It seems to be more about not allowing a non-biblical worldview to take your heart captive… whether that worldview is modern romaticism, postmodern anything-goes, sexual indulgence, etc. Guard your heart, keep it in Christ, and you will gain wisdom.
So basically, I think we’re saying really similar things. Proverbs always cracks open discussion, since by their nature, they tend to work in lots of situations. 🙂
was there a video in this post that’s missing now?
Ahhh! The site is possessed. It loves to “delete” videos ever so often. Thanks for the heads up.
thank you thank you thank you!
i often find myself thinking through what it really means to guard my heart, and was so glad to hear your take on this.
Hmmm…excellent words and insight!! Thanks for sharing (how I made it here, I have no idea…but Papa does!)….
Anyways, I really just wanted to say that you are extremely beautiful and Abba Daddy really loves you!!! By extremely beautiful, I mean…well so extremely beautiful the flowers stop to stare (I should write a poem about that….interesting).
Blessings,
AJ Wagoner
Thank you for your kind words AJ! I noticed on your site that you are a poet. You should consider submitting something here: https://loveandrespectnow.com/community/submit-art/
I love this Joy! Makes so much sense… it is also encouraging that we can be guarding our hearts whether or not we are in a relationship- preparing it for the right person by putting the right stuff in! I am going to share this with my single girls. Thank you!
I was reading Philippians 4 today and I thought of this post.
Phil 4:6-9
6 Do not be anxious about anything,(H) but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God,(J) which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. 8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
What if guarding our hearts includes on focusing our minds on our relationship with the Lord as well as all the things listed in verse 8?
Esperance thinks...
Dear Joy,
I am married. I am in a ministry of singles and we meet once in 2 months. how can we benefit from your gift? I would also love to get materials especially DVDs on the love and respect by your dad. do you have any shop distributor in Africa? if not, how can i access to them from central africa/
Please let me know. if you don’t have the distributor, we can partner with you to have access to as many audience as possible in Africa because i personally have been helped by his book and i believe many more can. We have also initiated married couples fellowship in our local church because we believe, when you care for one couple, 2, … at the end of the day, you would have managed to care for the whole congregation.
I wait to hear from you.
Esperance.
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