This summer I attended what I imagine business people calling a “power lunch.” I was invited by the core team of 4-Word women.  All the other women were in their work attire, and I showed up with my bike helmet.

Oops.

One of the incredible women I met was Stephanie. Thanks to my helmet in tow, I found out she also loves to ride.  We set out on our bikes one day after work and found ourselves in Camas, Washington breaking for dinner at the fantastic Twilight Pizza. Yup, we had left the state of Oregon. The owner even let us put our bikes in his basement office to keep them safe. If you are ever in Camas, you MUST go. Tell the owner, Don that the biker chicks sent you.

My “I feel really cool” moment happened when the waitress recognized my last name and asked if I was related to the guy who wrote, Love and Respect. I told her I had written it. Not really, but I was glad to find out she was a fan, otherwise I would have been concerned about what was in my pizza.

We didn’t get home until after dark (sans bike lights), but it was an incredibly beautiful ride full of food, cemetery stops and most of all – incredible conversation.  Working with mostly men, I am impressed by Stephanie’s insight to the gender as well as her heart to prepare for marriage someday. So I asked her to guest post for me. This week she shares about her experience attending a Love and Respect small group…with ALL married people. Next week she reviews a book that I am ordering from Amazon called, “The Male Factor.”

Thank you, Stephanie!

We love Twilight Pizza!

A Singles Review of the Love and Respect Small Group DVD Series

Harmless. My social calendar could handle the bite of one night a week for a couple of weeks.

My church decided to do the “Love and Respect” video series, something my parents enjoyed when they did it with their church, so I thought I’d give it a shot. What did I have to lose? Maybe a little dodgeball time, but I figured it was worth the sacrifice of my precious social calendar to possibly save some heartache in the future.

Yes, I was placed in a group with all married couples, and I was the only single person.

But I had wanted to get to know some of them better after observing them in their marriages and forming some friend crushes. I would get to form deeper relationships with great people; how cool is that? Joy likes watching couples fight at the airport; I like developing friend crushes on people I don’t know, so I throw myself into these things. Call me an extrovert or nosy, but I like it.

Ever wonder how Joy has developed such great mannerisms and wit? Watch the video series for ten minutes and you’ll fully understand. Her dad, Emerson, keeps it applicable yet entertaining—sometimes with groaner dad jokes, but it’s amusing nonetheless. He gives many practical examples (just like Joy does in her videos) of applying the principles of “Love and Respect” in daily life.

Respect comes naturally for men, and love comes naturally for women, so how do men practice showing love to women, and how do women practice showing respect to men? This is what is covered through the series.

At the end, I asked all the couples in my group, “When it all boils down, is it this simple—women need love and men need respect? Is this the key to a healthy marriage?”

The resounding answer was yes.

Later, I was reading Emerson’s blog and realized my question to the group is similar to one of Emerson’s key quotes:

“Women need love and men need respect.
It’s as simple and complicated as that.”

Great minds think alike, right?

The way I see it, marriage is like driving a car. No one sticks a pimple-faced teenager in the driver’s seat and says, “Now GO!” There are severe consequences and repercussions to how you decide to drive that car. You could seriously damage yourself and others. But with plenty of time, learning, and preparation with trusted adults, you can avoid some major pain and have some practical advice on how to drive the car and handle the bumps in the road. How well you drive that car also depends on how well you maintain it, which is the heart of “Love and Respect”: building and maintaining healthy relationships.

L&R is not just for married people. Do you interact with the opposite sex on a regular basis?

Unless you’re a nun or a monk, this series is applicable to your everyday interactions.

It wasn’t until after I completed the video series that I learned about Joy and her blog from my pastor during a discussion about unicorns and my single relationship status. Joy still echoes what her parents preach, but on an applicable level for us twentysomethings.

And her videos aren’t set in a church with pink carpet and fake ferns—bonus.

Question

Have you participated in any type of small group? Did you find it beneficial to be with people in your same walk of life or varied?

Single people: Would you join a small group on the topic of marriage?  Why or why not?

Married people: Would you want single people in a small group on marriage? Why or why not?