A person who wrote in recently found a quote, stating that “a girl’s heart should be so wrapped up in the Lord, that a guy should have to seek Him to find her.” And then she asked me if I agreed with that?
Do you think it’s true that you can experience an “intimacy” with the Lord that supercedes anything you can experience with a person?
Why or why not?
Have you said or heard this quote yourself? How has it affected your ideas about seeking the Lord?
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.
From My Heart
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Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs on Marriage, Parenting, Family of Origin, Work & Death
Fighting for Love (and Other Potentially Hazardous Cliches)
@Bekah Hope, Thanks for your words and affirming to hear you felt the same way. I think what you said kind of goes along with what I said here. Would love your thoughts…
https://loveandrespectnow.com/2011/06/ask-joy-guard-your-heart/
@Joy, I meant to communicate that I’d already seen the “guard your heart” video and that it was brought up in my discussion with a friend about this quote. 🙂 I agree. It goes right along!
I dislike this quote intensely for many reasons (and I apologize to Joy in advance for the upcoming rant), but the main reason I hate it is because it’s pithy little quotes like these and others (Name it and claim it!) that change Christianity from a faith-based life into a works-based one and God into some sort of cosmic ATM that will give us whatever we want if we can just figure out the right PIN code.
Speaking as a perpetually single guy in my almost mid-30s, I used to read things like this and my first reaction would be, “Crap. Is this why I’m still single? Am I not reading my Bible enough? Am I not praying enough? Am I not going to church enough? If I had taken the time to help that old lady across the street that one time would I have then bumped into “the girl”? God, what am I not doing enough of that You want me to work on so that I don’t have to go home to my two cats the rest of my life?”.
And then I would be like, “Hey, wait a minute…What about Jim Bob and Sue Beth Generica from church? I’ve known both of them for a long time since way before they got married or even started dating each other and they weren’t seeking after Him any more or harder than I was. Why do they get to be married and not me? That’s way unfair, God.”
We had a discussion along some of these lines last night at my Home Group; not about romantic relationships in particular, but about God’s Grace and one of the main points was this; we worship God, we seek after God, we want to know God better BECAUSE He loved us first and died for us, not to MAKE Him love us and accept us (Hint: He already does) or because we want Him to reward us in some way—’cause, like, eternal life, Yo.
God created in most of us the desire for romantic companionship (not so fast “Gift of Paul-ers”), even Adam with whom He walked in physical form in the Garden of Eden before the Fall.
Think about that. No human has ever walked closer with God than Adam (even Moses only got to see His backside) and God said, “It is not good for man to be alone.”.
Whoa.
Wait. What?!
Kinda mind-blowing. Well, at least to me. 🙂
Adam didn’t need Eve to live. God was sustaining him and meeting all his needs, but even He thought that Adam needed a companion of his own kind.
He knows our wants and desires and He knows what’s best for us and in what time, but it’s not something we earn or don’t earn via how hard we seek after Him. Every good and perfect gift comes from Him and is given in Grace NOT because He thinks He owes us one.
*stepping off soapbox, hoping I don’t get banned for monopolizing this space* 🙂
@G Fresh, Love the rant and the passion. We do need to be careful with the things we say. Like this, it can easily take the focus off our responsibility and put it on other people. Liked your words.
I kind of go off on a rant in this video….https://loveandrespectnow.com/2011/04/the-one-part-1-is-there-only-one/
@Joy, Thanks! I wasn’t sure if it would come out coherently or not as I was sporadically writing at work when my boss wasn’t looking. j/k
Kinda.
I liked what you were speaking about in the video you linked above; especially towards the end where you were talking about “focusing on becoming ‘the one'” instead of “focusing on finding the one”.
That made so much sense as it seems like (at least in my own life) we spend so much time looking for someone and then on those occasions when we think we’ve found them or at least we find someone we’re interested in, we then start to try to change ourselves and “improve” ourselves to fit what we think that person wants.
Rather, we should let ourselves be changed by God into whom He wants and trust Him to fill in the details of all the rest of the parts of our life to our best benefit and not necessarily what we think our lives should be which I’m thinking would turn out to be pretty mediocre compared to what God wants for us.
P.S. No offense, but I kind of hate your message box here in the comment section. The narrowness of it makes it difficult to keep track of your thoughts sometimes if you have more than a paragraph or so to say. 😉
P.P.S. I hate to break it to you, but I’m thinking Walter may just be in it for as long as the dog treats keep flowing. I didn’t see much of a “lobster intensity” stare in those eyes.
OH MY GOSH WALTER SHRUNK!!!!!
this quote makes me want to barf. literally. But unfortunately – after 2.5 yrs of marriage I find that it is kind of true. I love my husband, but it is nothing compared to the kind of love and history and just raw “realness” that I feel with God. I don’t think it will ever be – and I don’t believe it should be. If our earthly loves can replace the spot we have in our hearts that God deserves… we have a problem.
And just even to hear myself say that makes me want to cringe because I said I’d never say that. And yet here I am. Saying that. Just like every other married person who said I would say that. Just like I am saying that – right now
What happened to Walter? We miss him we do.
@Jenny, I know…I was going to do a video about sexual purity and then bring my parents dog Montana (who looks like a small Walter) out. haha…Figured I might get some flack. (-: This is actually my brother’s dog Dakota. Too many dogs in my life that don’t belong to me.
Anywho…I really like the way you phrased this. Thank you for being “the married woman voice.” haha…
Hello. Im new to this space and started checking around to see what there was to see… hoping to find like mindedness here. I went straight to singleness because I think you can tell a lot about someone’s doctrine/heart for the LORD. I clicked on this post because that quote has to be a favorite of mine, though I see that I am possibly alone in this opinion so far. Oh well, why not be the differing voice? Here goes..
I think it is important to investigate a few things before we get all fired up about “quotes” and start treating them like doctrine. God forbid. It is important to ask- Is it scriptural? (this above all things). It is also important to ask- What was the person trying to actually say/get across? Most importantly, though, even if it is based on scripture, it should be used as a tool to the foundation we already have in the Word. It is not our foundation.
Before I explain further, I also think this quote is not just applicable to women, but men. We all ought to be so hidden in Him that He is the only answer for why we are joined as one. Because of His will, men pursue- at His command.
I think Maya Angelou was really speaking of Christ dominating the center of your whole being that the other person (male or female) is caused to draw nearer to Him also, by default. Here are some scripture that back up these two points/cause-effect (Christ being your center first & always/the person’s relationship with God in response deepens):
Psalm 16:11- You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore
Colossians 1:17-And he is before all things, and by him all things are held together.
Matthew 22:30-For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage, but are like angels in heaven. (Luke 20:36 says we are then “sons of the Resurrection”-born of it IN Christ).
Matthew 5:8- Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.
Revelation 21:9- Then came one of the seven angels who had the seven bowls full of the seven last plagues and spoke to me, saying, “Come, I will show you the Bride, the wife of the Lamb.”
Revelation 2:4- Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love.
Song of Solomon 8:6,7 partials- Place me like a seal over your heart, like a seal on your arm; for love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave…Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot sweep it away.
These are just a few, I believe. Everything starts with Christ. Isaiah 55 says that God sends His word out to accomplish what He wants and it does not come back to Him without bearing the fruit He intended to harvest. Marriage is supposed to be a picture of Christ and His church- that doesn’t happen ONCE you are married, but before. We are called to be so hidden in Him. Being so hidden in Him is where we find pleasures forever more. We are filled by Him FIRST, then go out and serve others instead of looking to be satisfied by others.
I think this is really what the quote is talking about. If God really has marriage for you, you can never go wrong diving into Him so deeply. He knows what you need, not you:
“For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,: declares the LORD. “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts.” (Isaiah 55:6,7)
I do agree with the quote in the big picture. Everything is about the Glory of Christ and His coming for His bride. He is our ultimate husband. Why shouldn’t we think we ought to be SO hidden, single or married. He is our husband forever.
1 Corinthians 2:2-For I resolved to know nothing while I was with you except Jesus Christ and him crucified.
May not be everyone’s taste but the lyrics and verses along with it get the point across- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4zOzBvOzXiY
Worth the listen.
Thanks for reading. -Hannah
Thanks so much for sharing, Joy! And everyone who has commented, I totally enjoyed reading through the many comments and thoughts.
The first time I heard this quote as a young teen and my mom sharing it with me I didn’t like it. I saw the “works based” side of it that a lot of the other comments have brought up. As I got older though, I began to appreciate it. I’ve heard the quote stated differently, “A girls heart should be so LOST in God that man must seek Him first to find her.” I like it quoted this way because it has taken me back to Proverbs 18:22, “He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” Reading that verse my first thought has been, okay do I sit around until the guy comes around? No! In order to be “found” one must be “lost” in something. There are many things a woman can be lost in, fleeting relationships, career, beauty, charities, ministry, etc. etc. etc. But I want to be lost in God. I want to be delighting in Him. I want to be satisfied in Him. If a girl is this lost in God, only a man who is satisfied also in God will see the true beauty and quality found in a girl doing the same. Then together they can make Christ known, and will have found “a good thing.”
Putting Proverbs 18:22 with this quote, making it two sided and the focus on delighting in God, makes it a worth while quote to share, in my opinion. Otherwise, I totally get the draw back of it quickly becoming if you do this you’ll get this mentality, which isn’t at all what marriage is.
Bekah Hope thinks...
This is insanely funny. And by “funny” I mean “ironic”. Because I was talking about this quote with someone a couple of weeks ago.
I first heard this quote at youth camp several years ago and believed that I would just “bury my heart in God” so I wouldn’t get hurt, and wouldn’t “give my heart away” to the wrong person. But as soon as I quoted it to my friend (a couple weeks ago) it dawned on me that, well.. it’s a nice sentiment. But it’s not particularly realistic. Especially in light of the insight you shared about guarding our hearts (both myself, and the friend I was speaking with referenced your video in this conversation).
Wise words indeed. 🙂
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