Do you want to get the Love and Respect Now magical unicorn crest tattooed on your bicep as much as I do? I thought so…
Josh Chang is the man behind that amazement. A dear Portland friend, Josh and his wife, Amber, have poured into me through their time and servant hearts. For over two years, Amber edited all of my terrrrrible grammar in most of the things I wrote. (If you find an error, it’s because I didn’t send it to her… Also, she often deleted the million ellipses that I wanted to use…all…the…time…)
They both served on my Creative Committee and Josh still meets with me often to help with design issues or just my million questions about…life…in…general…
Josh is not only gifted in his field, but also at loving people. A great question-asker with genuine intrigue, Josh grapples with life’s questions and God’s design and purpose for us. The poster he created for you all is a reminder of his own lightbulb moment he had in the P.A. [Pre-Amber] years.
…enjoy…
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When I was 24 I decided that I was done with dating. The problem for me? Dating led to more dating. I work in advertising and we sometimes create new emotions or convince people to chase new and shiny things.
Dating felt just like that: I kept creating new emotions and trying to position myself as a shiny object.
And if it was a Christian I was dating, we would get to know each other, talk about how far is too far, fall into a place of ambiguity, and then it would fall apart because I never wanted to commit. So I would replace them with someone new. It would be rinse and repeat.
And I was tired of this.
And I told God that I was tired of this and that I wanted a new perspective on relationships. And he said, “Yes, Josh, that’s why I created marriage.” So as I looked at God’s word and his design for marriage, the first thing I had to understand was that I was valuable to him. That I was worth something. And I deserved better.
During this time, I met a girl named Amber. Before I could even ask her to obligatory coffee, I saw that she knew her value. I realized that if I wanted access to her, I would have to be responsible for what was behind it. And vice versa, if I wanted to grant her access to my life, I needed her to be responsible for what I offered as well.
This was different. I was different, Amber was different. And because we valued our worth and each other, my old ways of chaos and heartbreak and rinse and repeat were gone.
I designed this poster as a rallying cry to remind all of us that we don’t need to sell our shiny-selves. We’ve already been bought at a high price from the one who created us and He called us good.
We should know this and embrace this and act on this.
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What are some reasons you struggle to know your self-worth?
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Josh is a California native who is inspired by culture, sports, and design. He is currently in advertising and has worked on brands ranging from Nike to EA Sports to Powerade. He runs a mini design shop and storefront on the side; you can find his latest goods at panicandrun.com. Don’t be a stranger; stop by and say hi.
Want this poster now? This poster would be rad framed in your room, hung up at the office or as a gift to a friend who needs to know their self-worth.
Also, many of you have commented on the “Fight To Stay In Love” poster in my office. Yup, Josh did that too. Order HERE.
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.
From My Heart
All of the Love and Respect Now Posts…In One Place!
Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs on Marriage, Parenting, Family of Origin, Work & Death
Fighting for Love (and Other Potentially Hazardous Cliches)
Oops; not “pseudonym”, “Synonym”….
That is what I get for using “BIG’ words, I use them incorrectly. 🙂
welcome to my life! I just heard the word pontificate for the first time a couple years ago and I love it so much that I probably use it when it doesn’t work.
Can you clarify this paragraph?
“During this time, I met a girl named Amber. Before I could even ask her to obligatory coffee, I saw that she knew her value. I realized that if I wanted access to her, I would have to be responsible for what was behind it. And vice versa, if I wanted to grant her access to my life, I needed her to be responsible for what I offered as well.”
In what ways did you know or did she demonstrate that she “knew her value.” And the line, “If I wanted access to what she had to offer, I would have to be responsible for what was behind it” -are you referring to commitment? Thanks for the clarification.
Hey Victoria – great question. I’ve “tweeted” at Josh and hopefully he will expand on this himself, but I would say based on the convo’s that Josh and I have had, your assessment of “commitment” or intentionality is correct.
joy, thanks for posting. awesome feedback so far. i had a dad get a couple for his daughters.
aron —
thanks for the comment. keep using big words.
victoria —
1) how did i know she “knew her value?” – it’s hard to explain but two things: 1) my faith was attracted to her faith. i just genuinely knew she valued god more than finding a man to solve her needs. that made it easy to get to know each other and set healthy boundaries. 2) she also surrounded herself with awesome people. for me that helped vouch for who she was.
2) clarification on “access to what she had to offer” — yes, i was referring to commitment. i realized the wealth that we both had to offer (everyone should realize the wealth that everyone has to offer!).. and for me, i believed in committing to permanence/marriage before getting to know her deeper. i know that’s kind of ridiculous and counter-culture but that’s how much i valued who she was. and yeah, that allowed faith to do its thing too.
hope that helps.
“I realized that if I wanted access to her, I would have to be responsible for what was behind it. And vice versa, if I wanted to grant her access to my life, I needed her to be responsible for what I offered as well.”
YES.
THIS. IS. IT.
This is my exact thoughts put into words so thank you!
I know it’s a bit late, but I just came across this and absolutely loved reading it. Great insight and wisdom in your words. Thanks for sharing Josh.
Aron (@AronDarling) thinks...
What a great write-up. Too often I see folks looking to be “Complete” when they find a spouse. I am pretty sure God has designed us to find a spouse –as so many of us long for one — but we need to have a healthy perspective of self worth before we enter into marriage or we place that “burden” (I am not liking that term in this context, but I cannot think of a pseudonym) on our spouse; yes we need to be valued by our spouse, but we also need to know and understand our own self worth.
Not sure why, but I only see this within my Christian friends; most of my secular friends can take or leave marriage. Perhaps it is because we know and understand the purpose God created it for and we know it is not good to be alone.
Once again; great perspective and thank you for sharing.
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