My father wrote a book called Love and Respect, based on Ephesians 5:33, which says, “Let each of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”
Many women often ask me, “What does respect look like?” Many men say they don’t know how to articulate what respect looks like to them. From personal experience, I’ve come to realize that many of us have really unhealthy ideas of what respecting a man or needing respect looks like.
I wanted to share one way in which I’ve seen men vocalize this “respect-thing” and how, when both men and women understand it better, they can be far more empowered in their relationships.
This is one of the things I love about my parents’ message—they challenge everyone to come to a mutual understanding of each other’s needs so they can communicate more effectively. Many conflicts can be de-escalated quite quickly if we would take the time to try and understand the heart behind the words or actions of others.
Trust me.
On that note, here are a couple examples of how we misunderstand instead of seek to mutually understand each other. For men, this often comes in the form of a question: “Would you just trust me?”
From my trusting heart,
Joy
Have you seen misunderstandings similar to these happen in your own relationships? Your parents relationship?
Practically speaking, how does a mutual understanding of each other’s needs help during conflict?
Did you watch the Respect State of the Union I did with a group of my “man-friends” a couple years ago??
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.
From My Heart
All of the Love and Respect Now Posts…In One Place!
Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs on Marriage, Parenting, Family of Origin, Work & Death
Fighting for Love (and Other Potentially Hazardous Cliches)
yeah! I’m glad. Would love to hear more about why and any stories or examples you have. You can include your social security as well.
This happens to my husband and me all the time! I didn’t realize that I was making him feel incompetent. Yet another light bulb moment courtesy of the Eggerich’s. We are trying to think of an example right now and can’t think of one!
You said that the word respect has a bad connotation, and I agree. I hear it in the voice of some South Park character at high volume followed by something like ‘authoritah.’ Telling someone that respect is important to me has always felt like I was asking for some big and atypical act of servitude. At the same time, realizing my need for respect at my job, in friendships, and everywhere else has proven to be a huge help to sort out why I feel so inadequate when I am not feeling respected. Knowledge is power, I guess.
Amanda (@mandiemariebee) thinks...
OoooOOOoOOoooOooh. Thanks for the light bulb moment.
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