Don't leave just yet. Besides these articles, sometimes I send out extra special stuff. Don't miss out. Sign up here.
people are love and respecting (now).
Join the movement.
“Do I even have time to date?”
– Joy (In my head)
Joy, Crazy, Darling,
“Do you think married people have all the time in the world?”
I was falling asleep when that simple truth hit me.
I did a perimeter search with my arms until they found my phone to type that illumination moment, so I wouldn’t forget to write this article. (Most of the things I type in the middle of the night do NOT end up being post-worthy…)
Photo Credit: Sydney Macnaughton
I don’t exactly remember, but I think my phone was found either on the nightstand with my left arm, or with my right arm under the pillow…where I want a husband’s head to sleep. Until then, his area is occupied by sleeping masks and about ten different books and magazines that make me feel guilty as they lay unread. (I’m sorry, but if a QuizUp challenge pops up on my phone, reading materials get a “not tonight” look).
I was hanging out with my friend Stephanie and venting about all that I was taking on and “I’m so busy and important blah, blah, blah.” I ended the rant with, “I just don’t have time to date.”
“There will never be a good time to date,” she said.
Steph was right. I realized, from an unromantic business-type perspective, that if I had an end goal of a family and a husband, the least strategic move I could make would be to bury my head in work and not create a margin for men.
So, naturally, I decided I would go out with ANYONE…
…and their brother, and that brother’s roommate, and his co-worker’s cousin, and that cousin’s neighbor, who was a chemistry professor that had just blown his hand off in an after-school lab experiment.*
The above paragraph didn’t actually happen, but I did try to remain with an open posture to what the Lord might present me with. Who do my parents and friends know? Can I say “yes” to that one thing that might have human beings attending, instead of crawling into bed and playing QuizUp with my online friends?
Scripture says, “make your requests known,” but it doesn’t follow that up with, “and I will honor you for remaining fearful, close-minded and at the office until midnight.”
I know, for many people, career is the thing we dive into because it has a measurable standard for success.
On the other hand, humans are less predictable and can hurt us, leave us and make us feel out of control. Yet, I believe they have the potential to hold us to a higher standard and help us live with a purpose that we might remember more than a paycheck.
I wonder if married people in our generation are divorcing sooner because of this very reason. Career has become supreme. Not only do single people not have time for a relationship, but married people aren’t making much time for their relationships either.
“Researchers have settled on what they believe is the magic number for true expertise: ten-thousand hours.” —Malcolm Gladwell, Outliers: The Story of Success
My gut says if all of us were surveyed, we would say that relationships are more important than work—but would our billable hours reflect that?
I’m not saying we should quit our craft, calling or the monotonous 9-5 job that supports our family and keeps us out of debt. But if long hours at the office are because it’s the area we feel in control of, and relationships make us feel out of control, that’s something to notice.
Married or single, you and I both CAN reallocate some of our 10,000 hours and work towards a true partnership.
Clocking-out to become an expert,
DID YOU LIKE THIS POST?
CHECK OUT THESE RELATED ARTICLES
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.