Question

I’m writing on behalf of my sister. She’s been in a serious relationship for about a year, but she’s paralyzed by the fear of getting married as a result of growing up in a divorced home. What can I say to my sister to calm her down and help her overcome her anxiety?

My Response

In light of dad’s expert knowledge and having grown up with his own parents’ very rocky marriage, he’s the perfect person to help me answer this Ask Joy.

As we talk about in the video, if you’ve only been surrounded by collapsing relationships, a fear of marriage is completely valid. Especially if the cause of your parents’ divorce was unclear, it’s easy to jump to thoughts of “This could come out of nowhere and happen to me, too.”

That being said, you have a choice.

You can become your wound, or you can become a wounded healer.

(Can’t see the video? Click HERE.)

P.s.  I don’t know if you’ve heard, but my dad wrote a parenting book called Love and Respect in the Family. Yeah, he went to school for this stuff, but let’s be honest, his real expertise comes from parenting me.

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Questions

Do you believe in compensatory theory, that we are able to step in the opposite direction of what we’ve experienced?

How have you used your wounds to become a wounded healer?