My sister-in-law recently told me that there are three sides to every story:

1. Theirs.
2. Ours.
3. What actually happened.

I’m sure my sister wasn’t the first person to say this, but I’m too lazy to find out who did. The reason I’m sharing the following story is because:

1. It’s Valentines Day tomorrow, and some of you are going on dates. Hopefully they’re better than the one I’m about to share.
2. Some of you are not going on dates, and this story should make you grateful.
3. You can see how mature I was at 16.

Photo Credit: Ian Pratt

Sweet 16 Pity Date: Two Versions

Mostly by Justin Nault

[Responses to Justin in bold by Joy Eggerichs]

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Back in high school, I had a friend named Joy who was special on many levels. [I can already hear the sarcasm, Justin.] Despite the “can guys and girls be friends” debate, some might have called her a “best friend.”

Joy’s name suited her, and so when Joy turned 16 and was allowed to go on her first date, I figured it would be fun—so I asked for the honor. Perhaps “asked for the honor” could also mean “agreed to take her upon her request,” but memories are funny that way. [Oh just you wait…]

On the fateful evening, I decided to keep it simple and go with dinner and a movie—both of her choosing, of course.

[Let’s back the memory train up. There was no dinner whatsoever. We went to the Meridian Mall and walked around Pacific Sun, Abercrombie, and The Buckle. Then we stopped by The Orange Julius where my friend was working. She asked if we wanted anything and you said, “No.” Then she said, “You sure? It’s free.”  To which you then proceeded to order the largest blizzard she could make, probably with extra whipped cream and a cherry on top…but that’s the only part that’s a little foggy.] 

I wanted it to be a special night for her, so I decided to get her a gift. Flowers were just too generic for my taste, so I decided to go with something far classier for my friend Joy. Gift wrapped, I left my girlfriend’s house and rushed over to Joy’s after realizing I was a little late.

[BACK THE NEWSFLASH TRAIN UP! YOU HAD A GIRLFRIEND THEN?!?! I DO NOT recall this fact. I realized it was a pity date, but this takes it to a whole new level of pathetic. Glad to know your girlfriend was such a good sport. Well, “glad” may be an overstatement.]

I pulled up to the house around 7 or 8 [Uhhh, really, Justin? Fresh Prince? You’re losing credibility fast, Mr. Nault.], said hello to her parents, and assured them I would have her home on time.  I then presented her with a timeless piece of jewelry. Something that clearly stated our bond perfectly…a 14k twisted gold chain necklace with a charm that said, ‘#1 friend’. [Did your girlfriend help you pick that out?]

I must confess that was probably the highlight of the date.

I don’t really remember dinner at all [Because it didn’t happen], but would guess Joy picked the mall food court. [Just for any future dates reading this, I would have picked Sabarro or Panda Express.]

I do, however, remember the movie. A movie I let her pick (against my better judgment) that turned out to be disastrous. I complained the whole way through with my sharp tongue lashing out at nearly every pathetic scene. [Finally, something we both remember vividly.] The rest of the night was spent arguing over the movie choice at length because I just could not let it go.

I had her home right on time—possibly early. I walked her to the door and sarcastically thanked her for a great time and thus ended the best/worst first date. If nothing else it was memorable.

[Well, not that memorable—we didn’t make it to the “boy walks me to the door” dry run. Instead, you pulled your teal Pontiac G6 into the dipped driveway (probably bottoming out due to your high speeds and desire to drop me off and get back to your girlfriend), and I was already out of the car before you had come to a complete stop. Right before I slammed the door shut, I leaned my head in and—probably in a very respectful tone—yelled…

“Thanks for the WORST FIRST DATE EVER!!]

Although I was pretty much a jerk in a way only a 16 year-old boy can be [I wasn’t the definition of “sweet 16” either], I’m still proud of that 14k-gold necklace—it was truly timeless. She still has it, and we are still friends to this day.

[This I can confirm with 100% accuracy.] 

#1 Friend necklace still being rocked in 2014.

Justin and Gina, I’m so bummed I couldn’t make it to your special day.
I would have totally been your pity flower girl.

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Here’s to relationships that start out less rocky, less out of pity, and with less girlfriends involved. (Although in re-reading this post again and realizing my birthday is in the summer, Justin isn’t sure now that he had that gracious girlfriend who would let him take me out. Who knows, might be time to go back and re-read my Hello Kitty diary to get more accurate details.)

So now I want to hear from you…tell me about a funny or horrible date story! Or just tell me what you think of tomorrow’s “Holiday of Love” as a married, single or dating person. 

[p.s. Spoiler alert—another BONUS post is coming tomorrow. Plus, I’m announcing something special AND giving away something near and dear to my heart.  Just because I love Valentine’s Day so much.]

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