Hey Joy,
Two questions:
1. When you want to laugh and have fun, who comes to mind first?
2. What are your thoughts on interracial relationships?
Well, kids, check your calendars—yes, it is 2014. Yes, I did actually receive this question.
While I have many thoughts about the first question—there are a lot of friends I laugh and have fun with—the only thought that really comes to mind about the second question is: Is this real life?
As you’ll see in the video, I am in full support of interracial relationships. Except with redheads…but given my recent experience, I may be willing to reconsider. I know, sometimes I surprise myself.
________
DID YOU LIKE THIS POST?
CHECK OUT THESE RELATED ARTICLESCultural Differences in Relationships: Ask Joy.
Political Differences in Relationships: Ask Joy.
_______
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.
From My Heart
All of the Love and Respect Now Posts…In One Place!
Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs on Marriage, Parenting, Family of Origin, Work & Death
Fighting for Love (and Other Potentially Hazardous Cliches)
No, I know there are people out there who hold those beliefs but all the more reason as to why I wanted to share my opinion that I think it’s ludicrous and not the heart of God or Scripture at all. Making light of it was the way I felt most comfortable because I want people to step back and go, “yeah, maybe this IS a little crazy!” But again, people are entitled to their own opinions, and mine is that dating people from other races is 100% OK and wonderful. I linked to other posts where I went more in depth on our cultural and faith differences. I always try to get to the heart of the issue but kept this one lighter and will do that from time to time.
I really need to figure out how to add those real smiley faces! All I can do is (-: I’m a tech nightmare.
LOL, if you wanna make a 🙂 just don’t give it a nose. lol FYI, I am with you on the ludicrousness of it. I always love and appreciate your ability to bring heavy topics on a lighter level. 🙂 I’ve never looked deeper into why exactly that particular ministry believes that the bible speaks against interracial marriage, but before I get around to that, it’s always good to hear how Joy can light heartedly TRUMP anything they could possibly come up with (scripturally ) you know? lol I’d be lookin forward to that! Just like I do with all of your other videos of course! 😉 <3
(:
🙂
Got it!!!!!!!! Thank you!
well, great. all i needed was another blog to peruse. thanks to if – not even local. just ifafterthefact,hurrywatcheverylinkuntilitsgone i’m now obsessed with you and annie in a totally normal way. the christian culture needs funny people and really truthful people. i hope you’re doing big things like if more often. keep it coming.
haha! You are so sweet. Annie and I are totally cool with people who are obsessed with us. We love laughing and having people laugh with (at) us.
obviously, you have more info about this guy than i do, but…another interpretation of his question is that 1) this is a man of some other ethnicity, 2) whom you are already acquainted with on some level, 3) who considers himself pretty funny, and 4) is about to ask you on a date…just checking to make sure you’re down with a brother from another mother.
1. I agree and think he probably is..
2. No
3. Yes he was funny and sweet and I think his question was honest
4. Possibly – I alluded to that in case it was the case… so hopefully you caught my answer. (-:
would you rather: be funny and humble and a person who everyone loved to hang out with OR a funny dancer?
Dancer.
If only it were so easy to make dating someone of a different skin tone not a big deal. If we lived in a world where we weren’t color blind and saw the rainbowlicious people that God so creatively fearfully and wonderfully made.
The question of whether or not to date out side of one’s skin tone, because let’s face it, races are for running and we’re all human. My family is so diverse I’ve always been drawn to different color men. Oh, man, God is good at what He does. Let me stop letting my mind get distracted.
Yes, I could careless what color someone is, but I’ve heard from people in churches that have taught that people should date outside of the same skin tone because it would be too complicated for the children.
I’ve seen children grow into confused adults because we are taught that if your skin in brown you’re suppose to act one way or if your skin in white you’re suppose to act another. That’s a lie. I’ve had a fair share of people who like to project these stereotypes on me. Reminding me that I am white at heart because I am articulate and I don’t act like the “black people” they’ve seen in movies and keep in mind this happened in 2014 and I have received these comments since high school.
For a long time I believed the lie that because I was brown no one would ever be interested in me as if my skin color was my disability. Soon, I realized that was a lie because again, I was created fearfully and beautifully, I am a delicious tone and brown and I am dark and lovely.
I also had to realize that not everyone felt this way. My skin is BEAUTIFUL. You’re skin is beautiful. I don’t need droves of men that desire to be with me, I just need one and no matter what color his skin is, I will be my beloved and he will be mine. So I say, go be filled with the Truth of God and enjoy the beauty of his people.
Now, being with someone raised in a different culture is a totally different subject. I’m just speaking from an American perspective.
Hope this makes sense.
Totally makes sense! And I hope you see it as affirming what I am saying. I grew up with a crazy diverse high school and I definitely know from many of my friends that there are still some people with stigmas. So I wanted to show how ludicrous I thought it was so we can move farther away from anything of this nature. I spoke with a friend a few days ago who said her childhood church told her people of different races couldn’t marry because they would be unequally yoked. Oh mylanta.
And if anyone ever treats my nephew differently for being black I swear I will have to get on my knees in prayer to keep me from doing something I might regret.
Jesus loves the little children, all the children of the world. Red and yellow black and white, they are precious in His sight, Jesus loves the little children of the world and celebrates marriage between them!!!
Well, bring it on Jesus.
Taste the rainbow.
Ps. your nephew is ADORABLE!
Ps2. I’ve seen a fair share of cutie pie redheads.
I don’t know if this automatically posts, but I thought I’d share. I’m a big fan of Joy’s, and have watched many of her videos (if not all of them that I could find) plus articles – I feel like she really understand my concerns – she has a heart atune to her sisters in Christ. Anyway, I agree with Joy that interracial relationships are cool, and that nowadays it’s no longer as much of a hot topic (as opposed to the time period featured in Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner with Sidney Poitier). Other factors are key: sharing faith, similar age/education etc., things in common or differences to talk about. One would have to delve into the topic of what someone considers a date and what they are looking for out of a date. In support of the teachings of Scripture and Tradition of our Faith, a Christian would need to be mature and pure of heart in how one speaks and interacts in male-female discussions and friendships. That means ideally, first comes Love, then comes Marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage. If it’s that One True Love person. But many people are interesting to talk to, relate to, get to know, share the Gospel with, etc. Someone does not have to date anyone they do not want to date, period, if that person makes them uncomfortable in any way, or they feel the intentions are not right. Someone can turn down a date from a person of their skin color, or a different skin color, if they are not interested in dating. Respect for others is always a must. But someone doesn’t have to date interracially simply to prove they’re not a racist. Speaking respectfully and being nice/friendly is enough, even if they say no to a date. And of course, other races are not less attractive than one’s own – I think there is even a special attraction to other ethnicities, to the different culture/customs, to the beauty of someone different than oneself, to the idea of what the kids would look like 😉 In Song of Songs one is described as “dark but lovely” – to be politically correct nowadays we might say “dark AND lovely” (because why would being dark be an obstacle to loveliness?) Various shades, hues, eye shapes, and types of hair – it’s all lovely – all God’s beautiful masterpiece. It’s more important what is inside a person – their heart, mind, and soul – than the stereotypes of what different races are like.
Thanks for your insights “fan of Joy”! I can’t believe your parents named you that. (-:
I do have some additional posts below the video that speak to some of the great things you were highlighting. Maybe you’ve already checked them out, but if not… It’s all there!
hehehe. 🙂 actually my grandma’s name is Joy (well her middle name is, and that’s what she went by…her first name was “Marlbeth”…see why she liked “Joy”? 🙂 so they could’ve named me Joy too, but didn’t 🙁 so when I watched your video up on the roof with the big shaggy dog (I wasn’t on a roof with a dog watching your video, that’s what you were doing in the video hehe), and you said how – what if God was going to use you during a certain span of elderly years… and I was like woah… this is reminding me of how God has blessed me with MY grandma, JOY, during those last years of her life as she lives with us, and God is using her… I used to ask her for guy advice but that got confusing… so now I turn to you, my new advice lady named Joy! 😀 You have caused joy in the lives of people who are following your wisdom; God is using you now way before you’re old, see? 😀 I’ve watched/read sooo much of your advice, that the way I’ve written the above response must give you credit for your influence for sure 😀 you’ve helped to mentor me into a more mature gal who’s trying to work through my issues. I really appreciate your online ministry. I even thought I saw you at church once, but I wasn’t sure, and it wasn’t an official speaking event. You’re an awesome dynamic speaker, and I always look forward to tuning in. I love when you incorporate Bible inspirations and prayer-y stuff too.
you are so sweet! Thank you! If the person you saw at church had ratty, messy hair… It probably was me. Hope I can be Joy II for you! 🙂
you have rockin’ locks! 😀 all your hairdo styles are groovy. yet I don’t know if it was you for sure.
anywho, you do bring joy to your readers/viewers… you’ve got the JOY! 😀
it is like this song about Joy by Jackie Francois (http://vimeo.com/77020027) you will love it
J esus
O thers
Y ou
My wife and I are an interracial couple and have been married for nearly 5 years. We both watched this video and feel like Joy did a really great (and hilarious) job answering it. For us, being an interracial couple is a wonderful gift from the Lord. Our two families have very different customs, worldviews, lifestyles, and interests. But those cultural differences add layers and layers of joy to our relationship. I’ve had a blast eating new foods, learning new games, & speaking a new language. I can’t even describe the happiness I feel being accepted into a new family that isn’t part of my original culture. It’s definitely a challenge, but the rewards are endless. We believe that the Kingdom of God is a tapestry of every tribe, tongue, and nation and that the joining of our two families is a tiny fraction of God’s good world to come.
“It’s definitely a challenge but the rewards are endless.” That’s marriage on so many levels, right?! Thanks for sharing your first hand experience JZ.
The best part of this whole video? How you so safely wore your seat belt the ENTIRE time 🙂
Always wanting to make my mother proud!!
I like to give peeps the benefit of the doubt and if this cat is anything like me…sometimes I like to ask questions for the sake of others or just to bring about edifying convo. So let’s take it easy on this guy. However, I do appreciate a nonchalant approach to these types of things. We should treat Inter-racial relationships/dating as the norm, because it is the norm. Therefore, there is no such thing as inter-racial dating…just dating. One more thought…I think the greater issue in this is being conscious of CULTURAL differences, because that can make for some interesting “cleaving” or cleavage if you will haha! You should do a blog on that…”cultural cleavage”, “leave it to cleaver”, “the Cleveland browns, whites and blacks”
Haha – Nice name Adam. I know it’s you. I know I was being sarcastic with the guy, but felt like I wanted to keep it light hearted because I have answered those other questions. Check out the links below the video. I love whta you said, “there is no such thing as inter-racial dating…just dating.” Wise word my friend. Less wise? “Cultural Cleavage.” Ha.
I happen to love redheads… so feel free to send your rejects my way.
Low key, I kinda do too. Can I get a Prince Harry look alike who loves Jesus all up in here? Thanks.
Interesting question. I am definitely curious to hear the rationale behind the question because, as you have pointed out, it is 2014. Perhaps they have been taught it is somehow wrong but still I loved your answer. Personally I would like to marry a red head just to see if I could have caramel colored, red headed children. Wouldn’t that be divine to see? (not sure if my pic will show up so just in case it doesn’t I am in fact African American 🙂 )
Yes – I’ve seen a mix like that before and with freckles. It’s beautiful!!!
This post made me think of the lyrics to a Simon and Garfukel song “America … I always thought the opening line was …”Let us be lovers, we’ll marry our cultures together.” I thought this is such a beautiful idea a great merging of the two cultures as a couple becomes one…. little did I know the true lyrics are “Let us be lovers we’ll marry our fortunes together”… A little less romantic than my pretend version. I agree race is a non issue in dating and it can be very enjoyable to learn about someone else’s culture!
Ahahah!!! I can’t even tell you how many lyrics I have gotten wrong for so many years. I probably still don’t even know because there are so many I think are…and are not. Thanks for sharing the incorrect but wonderful lyrics.
I love this question. I love that he is thinking. I think so many people don’t think any more and don’t ask questions. They don’t seek out answers for themselves. This issue is a hard one because if anyone says anything against interratial relationships they are pounced on as racists and eaten alive pretty much. What I don’t get is that God obviously loves diversity and color. It’s evident every where you look, flowers, birds, people. Yes beautiful, divers people. Why would we want to mix us all up?
Whoa, I did not mean to post that. I’m not sure what happened. My grammar is horrible and I spelled interracial wrong 🙁 Anyway, I think the different races are beautiful and unique. I don’t know maybe it’s stupid to compare people with birds but imagine if the birds just up and decided to all mix up. Just a thought. Also I’m not sure what 2014 has to do with anything. In the Bible it says seek and ask for the old ways … “Jeremiah 6:16 Thus says the LORD: “Stand in the ways and see, And ask for the old paths, where the good way is, And walk in it; Then you will find rest for your souls. But they said, ‘We will not walk in it.’ I’m not saying it is right or wrong but I think it’s a good question.
Lael – You are posing thought provoking points and here are a few thoughts off the top of my head in response to you and Tozer. Thanks for joining the convo…
1. There are a spectrum of yea/nea to procreation and to the bird analogy one could then take it as far as to say that a yellow lab should not mate with a black lab. In the area of breeding dogs breeders are mixing to actually create stronger dogs whereas sometimes the purest of breeds end up being the ones with the most health problems. This is a stretch of an analogy, but I just don’t think the bird species point convinces me that only same color people should procreate.
2. There are many things in Scripture that are forward moving. That is why 2014 matters in this scenario. To me, while some issues are getting farther away from God’s planned story, the issue of race is one that I think is forward moving and being against interracial dating to me does not seem to mirror God’s heart.
3. If we believed God’s design was only for people of the same color to marry, would we then say God’s heart was not for my brother and sister-in-law to adopt my nephew Jackson – who does not match our skin tone? What does God say about caring for the Orphan and the widow?
Again, I feel complete freedom and believe in this area, and while other people are entitled to their opinion, I also feel comfortable shouting mine from the rooftops because I believe I am a woman who looks at the whole of Scripture and the direction that God is taking us and my understanding of God and his nature believe that if my nephew Jackson wanted to marry an Asian woman, then together, they would reflect God’s image just like it talks about in Scripture. And maybe even be able to reach a broader number of people with the message of God’s love because of their diverse family.
Just a few rambling thoughts… Thanks Lael!
p.s. Didn’t notice grammar mistakes and guessing mine has even more. 🙂
A.W. Tozer had a strong opinion on the matter. Here is what he says,
Solve the Problem of Sin and You Solve the Race Problem
A.W. Tozer
You can’t change my mind about God having made us the way we are.
The yellow man and the white man and the black man. God made our
races. I know the Marxists and the bubbleheads say: “Oh, that’s old-
fashioned baloney! Everybody should get together and intermarry and
pretty soon there won’t be races, and where there are no races
there won’t be any hate, and if there’s no hate, there won’t be any
war.” Oh, for cotton batting to stuff in the mouths of people who
don’t know better than that!
Many of you have taken a good look at history. Did you happen to
notice that since the beginning of the world there never has been
worse hatred between nations than today, and that hatred rarely
crosses the color line? It is within the race itself.
The presence of specific races is not the source of our trouble-it
is the disease of sin within our own hearts. Twice within twenty-
five years the white Germans tried to kill and destroy the white
Englishmen. Occasionally there are flare-ups between races, but
mostly it is within races.
It is not race, brethren. It is sin, sin, sin, sin, sin! In place
of having love for our fellowmen, we have quarreling, lying, and
exploiting and competing to a shocking degree. Most people don’t
want to be reminded that the Bible says we should love the Lord our
God and our neighbor as our self.
Let me remind you of the warbler, almost universally distributed in
this country, and will you believe that there are 120 species of
this bird called the warbler in the United States? One hundred and
twenty varieties, with only the slightest differences of feather,
or wing, or stripe or spot. In these 120 varieties, we are told,
there is no crossing the line, they mate within their own racial
strain, hatch and have little ones. Nobody puts them through
college, but when they get big enough to hop out on the edge of the
nest and begin looking for another warbler, they always pick one
like themselves, and stay within their own strain.
Now, you get a Communist or a starry-eyed American fellow traveler
working on that, and he will say: “That’s an evidence of race hate,
and it’s a proof those warblers hate each other!” Hate each other –
your grandmother’s nightcap! They don’t quarrel, they never fight,
they just go on living and warbling. They’ve got sense enough to
know that God made 120 kinds of warblers just for fun to show what
He could do, and He doesn’t mean for them to cross over and make
one warbler out of 120!
I think it is a most amazing thing in our day that the godless who
have sowed the seed of discontent among the nations try to tell us
that racial lines are artificial and an evidence of “wickedness” –
and they don’t even believe in the Word and won’t allow it to be
used in any other way!
i love my white girl.
Haha and she loves her Asian.
One small thing…while I agree that race is not an issue, for some relationships, neither is age. I personally think it’s important to not make blanket statements in regards to that subject, so I wanted to address your very brief reference to it at the end here. I do think that that expanding on the age-issue is probably an Ask Joy for another time 😉
You’re correct. And also, I have! https://loveandrespectnow.com/2011/04/ask-joy-bingo-out-of-bounds/
I guess I clearly don’t have the entire archive of Ask Joys memorized! Thanks so much! 🙂
I love it that he asked, whatever the reason. The toughest thing may still be bias, even within wonderful Christian families. I have a gorgeous, former model cousin (even paler than me!) who is married to an amazing looking African-American man and their 3 girls are quickly becoming knock-outs! I know that she has dealt with some sticky stuff coming from her dad and I heard our grandma (spiritual bedrock in our family and prayer warrior extraordinaire) degrade their marriage because it was inter-racial. I think that some of it has bound them together even more and they are totally committed to each other and their marriage. They are both strong believers and they have their heads where they need to be. You can’t control what people around you say, you have to have lots of grace to extend, I guess. I think that we often forget that all of the skin colors originally came from 2 people and Jesus probably didn’t look like most of the artists have painted him 😉 Cross-cultural relationships can certainly have some hurdles, like others have said, but I’m for sure not opposed to inter-racial relationships (they just may have to figure out how to deal with people being people). I wonder what color God is……
Shawndra (@https://twitter.com/BubblyBibleGirl) thinks...
Hey Joy, loved your thoughts. However…I don’t believe your answer may have answered the person’s question exactly. Some are taught that it’s a sin to date someone out of your own race. I haven’t heard of any other pastor other than Arnold Murray from http://www.shepherdschapel.com/ who has taught this, but nevertheless, he has his reasons for coming to this conclusion and believing it is biblical. I understand that you want to laugh, but at the same time, I didn’t know whether or not you were mocking. There are some who are sure to follow Arnold’s teachings or who are thinking about it. This would be your cue to talk to THOSE people. Not just laugh about it as if it weren’t real. lol Anyway…love you girl! Always love your videos and smiley face! 🙂
| at |