Hey Friends,
I didn’t have time to make a trailer for this documentary, so for the full effect, turn on some dramatic movie music and read these quotes:
“Our real dating lives are OVER now!” – Laura
“I got matched with a guy who said he was 25. I’m pretty sure he’s 11.” – Joy
“Yeah, one looks like a wedding photo.” – Nicole
“I went live and immediately felt like I had crawled on top of a bar and asked random guys to hit on me.” – Mary
These quotes are from the summer I did an online dating experiment with three of my friends. One afternoon, over Mexican food and disappointing discussions about our failing love lives, I had an idea. Let’s do online dating for one month: TOGETHER.
If you’ve ever told any of your unmarried friends to give online dating a try and want to know the ish they have to deal with, or if you are considering it yourself or have done it and simply want to commiserate, join us for this 13-minute adventure.
From my heart,
Joy
DID YOU LIKE THIS POST?
CHECK OUT THESE RELATED ARTICLES:
Love and Respect (Now) is a division of Love and Respect. Please be considerate.
From My Heart
All of the Love and Respect Now Posts…In One Place!
Emerson & Sarah Eggerichs on Marriage, Parenting, Family of Origin, Work & Death
Fighting for Love (and Other Potentially Hazardous Cliches)
You’ll find the answer to that in next weeks video!!!
Thank you Joy! I needed a laugh 🙂 Kudos to all of you for toughing it out!
Thanks Heather! Way more doable if it’s done with friends who you can laugh with you during the process.
Or hold you accountable to respect ALL men, whether or not you find them attractive or want to have a relationship with them. What good is “laughing with your friends” if that is just a convenient “time of sharing” used to gossip about and bash men?!
The bible doesn’t say to “respect only the men you want to date, and laugh at all the others!”
You “ladies” have as many issues as the men you write about, and you’re being part of the problem why dating sucks to begin with.
How many 30+ year old women can’t cook a basic meal to save their lives, are glued to “candy crush,” and call their pets their “children?!” How many men would be wise to run away and complain that those women act like creepy 11 year-olds themselves.
The only difference between your behaviors and all the “creepers” you complain about is that society and Christian culture give (Feminist) double-standard social legitimacy to female issues. Instead of labeling such issues as “vices” that should be corrected, society (and churches) find(s) ways to excuse female issues as “virtues” to avoid the need to correct those women. Yet, when men do those same things, women complain about, shame, and blame those men for being as “immature” or “creepy” as them.
Christian women are just too blind and deceived to see their own issues, or keep looking for ways to minimize, rationalize, justify, and excuse themselves for all the bad things that they want to do.
If you want dating to suck less, then do what God tells you to do.
Hey Ben – thanks for sharing how you really feel. (-: I do hope you can try to see from my perspective where we were coming from with this video but from the tone of your email, you may not, and that’s ok.
If you have engaged more of the material on this site you will know that I try to bring a certain level of levity and humor to these topics that can often be very discouraging – I am in no way trying to be disrespectful when I challenge men and women alike – and often that is paired with sarcasm. Some people may think that’s wrong, but I feel a freedom to approach relationships that way and trust that if people look at the whole of my work they know where my heart is and how I desire men and women to treat each other.
Frankly, I probably challenge women more than I challenge men but I also think when it comes to showing respect, you may have the Love and Respect message a bit twisted. I would encourage to read the book in it’s entirety and also think about when humor is an isn’t appropriate. Again, we might hold different opinions on that, and that’s totally ok. This may just not be your type of site. But I do know from the feedback that I’ve gotten that this video has opened many people’s hearts towards giving dating a shot.
I would also add that since you are a man, please remember that you haven’t been on the end of being a female doing online dating. Maybe it’s teh same for guys, but I will say that there are a lot of really disgusting things said and communicated online which isn’t the majority of men, but it’s quite repulsive and to get to the quality men, you have to sift through some of the demeaning and degrading comments. In an effort to not give up, I showed what a fun and lighthearted approach could be when done together and we laugh about it instead of labeling all men as being like some of the guys out there. (i.e. men who copy and paste the same message to every single woman.)
Our group had many in depth conversations about assuming the best and staying open even when this felt unnatural — and I think that’s exactly what happened! Four women went from being really cynical (and that’s what I wanted to show) to changing their minds and becoming open towards the process and open to love! And I think that’s great! I have many male friends that online date as well and if we can’t laugh about it, then sometimes it just gets far too serious and discouraging.
Online dating scares the mess out of me, but I can definitely see the benefits. One of my best friends met her husband online. So, I know it can work. It just seems so awkward and terrible. Creepers are already attracted to me in real life. I’d hate to see how they would be online. Yikes!
May just have to go for it though.
Yeah Jennifer, it’s a lot of sifting, but more than anything I think it just shifts you to a posture of openness and meeting people–online or not. Let me know how it goes!
Where… Are… All… The… Men… Who love Jesus AND have all their teeth?
(-:
You brave girls! I’m not sure if this video scared me away from online dating even more, or gave me a slight interest in trying it. 😛 I just can’t yet, just can’t. I’m getting more open minded the older I get, but it’s going to take several more years before I can fill out a match site form I think. 🙂
(-:
I 100% agree with the quote that as soon as it went live she felt like she had crawled on top of a bar and asked guys to hit on her. I hated the whole process.
But I loved this video!
Yeah! Glad you enjoyed. And yes, it totally feels that way. Probably for everyone in some regard! It’s just a lot of “ahhh! really?!” for men and women.
Hi! Great video!:) Were the marriage, engagement, and serious relationship a result of online dating? That’s encouraging.
You’ll find out in next weeks video!! Stay tuned…. (-:
A) this was hilarious. Kareeeeeeeeem!! Oh man. So busted.
B) I wish you (Joy) could post a link to your profile bc I am vain enough to believe I could tweak it and boost your chances at l.o.v.e.
Haha thank you Allison, if I activate my account up again I might just come to you for some tips.
Joy! I may have nightmares about that old guy.
Welcome to my world Mari!
Thanks so much for this video! It’s was hilarious and encouraging for me because I have decided to try the whole online dating thing. I live in a pretty small city and have an even smaller circle of friends and people I know, all of which are pretty much all married to eachother. Yeah I didn’t get to catch a ride on that train. I’m 27 so I’m feeling the pressure a bit more and thought I would gI’ve it a try. It good to know I’m not alone!
So I just ended a 6th month stint of eHarmony. In the end I found myself somewhat depressed about what sort of guys were out there. I loved your perspective and humor. It does take some open mindedness to really engage in the process.
Oh Ben.
LOVED this experiment!!! I want more! lol It doesn’t even have to be dating experiments. Just make more experiment videos. lol
Sophia thinks...
I can’t believe one girl actually found and married a guy from eharmony! Are the other relationships a result of online dating, too? Loved the video, so funny:)
| at |