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A bunch of you asked me questions about my online dating experience. And the secret’s out…I never answered!
Sweet of me, I know. So last week I posted this short little documentary of the “Summer of Fun” I had with three friends when we gave online dating a shot. Then, I chose three of your questions to answer:
Now on to my experience…
When I decided to try online dating, I asked 3 of my girlfriends to do it with me for a month. I loved that we did it communally.
We ended up going on more dates than we ever have. This wasn’t just because of ehartmatchemistry.com, but because our friends heard we were doing online dating and started setting us up! Our posture was that of openness, and people shoved us through the doors.
Online dating CAN work. It’s a viable option for many people. And I’d give the same advice for online dating as I do for offline dating.**
This, plus more about the dating experiences of my Grandmother’s and me personally in the video below!
From my PETA-loving heart,
Joy
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Now I must find one of my grandpa’s jackets and hit the christiansbedesperate.org
Thank you for this post.
Joy – you are awesome! Thanks for sharing your community experience with online dating. I’ve gone on and off dating sites for about 3 years and it just has not clicked for me. I so want to be in the group of folks who are successful!! As an introvert, I find I get really nervous about meeting a stranger and it’s hard for me to be excited about meeting a new person, whether or not he has potential. I often envision meeting someone through a friend or at my church (where there are almost zero single men) because I would feel more comfortable that way. You would think I could meet a man in HOUSTON, TX just going to a Starbucks but I guess not.
Anyway, I will keep trusting the Lord and maybe I will get back online in 2015!
Love this, Joy! I tried online dating recently and found it discouraging for all the reasons you listed, mostly because I saw it as having a huge stigma. I saw it (without realizing) as a last resort – a sign of desperation and real-life dating failure. As a result you get that guilty sense of doing something that you don’t want anyone to know about, which is silly because dating is nothing to be ashamed of! It’s ok to admit that you want a relationship and then do something about it, whether that’s putting yourself in real life situations where you’ll meet new people or seeing who else out there on the interweb is looking for the same thing you are. I love the idea of going through it with friends so you can laugh, encourage, and bemoan the situation together. Of course, all of my girlfriends are married now, so maybe there needs to be a site that matches you with single friends to support you on the dating sites….this might get complicated.
All I had to do was share your previous online dating video on Facebook and I got asked out by two guys that I already knew. Didn’t see that coming. When people see that your open to dating, they really take you up on the offer. I think the openness to meeting people is really where the benefits are, even if you don’ t do online dating. (Not that I get that right all the time)
Totally agree! When I was on eharmony, I had my cousin, who is more like a brother, help me fill out my profile and he screened anyone who I was thinking about or if there was something I wasn’t sure about. It was really helpful! He even dragged me away from my computer during my first “skype date” with my now husband to sit in front of it and get a better idea if my now husband was a good option. Haha! 😉
Aron Darling (@AronDarling) thinks...
What a great post Joy! I have tried online dating a couple times and made some great friends through it. I am currently dating a wonderful woman I met on-line.
I have noticed a lot of the stigma you talked about where a couple of women had said ‘We will tell them we met at wherever our first date was’ like it really mattered. None of them lasted long, but I did find it odd how they were so concerned about it.
I bring it up often in discussion as I used to be active in it, but none of the women — who I have seen their profile — would not talk about it so I never talked to them about it.
I have also been told “I have too many restrictions” as I have a list of non-negotiables and a list of negotiables which I came up with after reading ‘The Sacred Search.’ These list topics come up in conversation over time and are never approached as ‘Action Item #1…’ that would totally be awkward and totally inappropriate.
Great topic and video Joy! Thank you for all you do.
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