I have a great friend who lives about 20 hours away. He recently texted me and said he is interested in me, dating-wise. He said he just wanted to be honest.
But none of our following conversations suggested that he wanted to make a move or be more than friends. I am angry.
If I was being honest, though, I’d say I have a crush on him. Because of the long distance, though, it would never work.
How can I move forward in a way that will stay true to my feelings, but won’t damage our relationship?
-Sarah
________
Dear Sarah,
Or watch this video. You made the news!
From my Barbara Wa-Wa-lovin’ heart,
Joy
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Funny and insightful.
Thank thee peoples.
So with long distance relationships more communication is needed? Loco.
Thanks Christopher! Long distance is tough but I know people who have made it work. Technology is definitely a bonus these days.
My thoughts? It not *that* hard to move. So if you think you’re interested, and after a flight or two want to try, and could feasibly get a job there, why not? Don’t take yourself too seriously!
Aron Darling (@AronDarling) thinks...
Why can’t people in — or not in — relationships talk! This is such a great video!
He throws out a little baiting comment ” Hey I’m interested ” but is not completely clear on how ‘Interested he is, what his intentions are, or how he wants to proceed.’ In this type of situation the ‘Man’ — and I assure I am using that term very lightly here — is communicating that he is interested, but he hasn’t worked out any plan as of yet on how he is going to make it work. The question behind the question (QBQ – go buy and read it) is “are you interested too?” Unfortunately he is letting you know to see if you are interested too; he is looking for a “Yes I am interested too,” but he is asking in a sheepish way so if you say “No I am not interested” it is somewhat a softer rejection than if he just poses a “Yes/No” type question. As it deflates a man’s spirit — perhaps Pride — to experience rejection, too often we are not direct enough. Unfortunately I have been told I was too direct once or twice — so it depends on the woman gentlemen — but I am always clear in my intentions and expectations.
On her side, I am going to have to agree with Joy that being “Angry” is a bit much. Be clear with him; ask him what his intentions are and how he thinks this can/will work. If he doesn’t know, that shows he hasn’t planned enough and maybe talked to you about dating a bit early, but at least he ‘made a move’ which is often hard for men, but we should be. Encourage him and be a little direct — we are not going to figure it out ladies — find out what his intentions are. Find out how you are both going to make this work; if it is going to work, you need to learn how to work together anyway.
I was blessed last summer with attending a wedding of a friend who married a guy who lived in NY while she lived here in San Diego. They have been married now for a year and are doing just fine, but they communicated a lot and often. Both had plans and knew what they wanted and where they were going and what they were looking for in a spouse. Figure that out ahead of time, before you start dating; you don’t go down to the car lot and say ‘what should I buy’ and more than you should go out ‘looking to see who is available’ the better salesman/saleswoman will win and you may not get what you thought you wanted.
PS: Hey Joy, any way we can make this ‘text box’ expandable like the ‘Old Site’ was? It is hard to formulate my thoughts over five visible lines; granted I think in small bit of information, but if it gets large I like to proof-read. 🙂
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