Hey Joy,
I recently watched the video “Fear and the Tick-Tock of my Girlfriend’s Baby Clock,” where you mentioned not playing savior for the person you’re in a relationship with. I feel like I dropped the ball on this one with my first girlfriend, because when we broke up she told me I was smothering her. If I ever date again, how do I find the balance of being best boyfriend without playing savior in the relationship?
—Alex
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Don’t be so hard on yourself, man! Be careful about statements like, “If I ever date again.” Obviously it’s easy to say things in our brokenheartedness, but those thoughts can begin to take root.
Unless you totally don’t care about being married anymore, or God magically puts a wife in your home someday, the reality is you will need to date again.
But here are some thoughts and a video that might encourage you. You might not be as smothering as you think, and I believe with a little bit of balance, prayer and growth, you will make an amazing husband.
_______
Keep dating, Alex!
From my smothering heart,
Joy
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Thanks! It’s going to be pretty beautiful/painful. I clicked on the link but the music scared me! I got nervous and couldn’t watch!
Great advice, love your singing ( I admire your freedom from inhibition. :D), and love the backdrop. My brother and I will be spending some time in Portland, I know you’re busy, but do you have any suggestions on places we shouldn’t miss?
Oh you just asked the best question….
Coava Coffee (I’ll probably be there)
Fried Egg I’m in Love (I’ll probably be there – ask for “The Joy”)
https://loveandrespectnow.com/2014/06/are-we-officially-dating-being-kept-a-secret-will-smith-miles-davis/
https://loveandrespectnow.com/2013/04/ask-joy-do-you-love-me/
Prettymans General (Avocado Salad and Tuna Melt and olives and almonds and anything to drink)
Por Que No (Bryans Bowl)
Oven and Shaker (Spicy salami + Honey Pizza – add arugula)
Little Big Burger (Fries will blow your mind)
Canteen for smoothies and healthy bowls
Have fun!
Wow, just realized that was all food. But really, that’s all that matters in Portland. Doug Fir is a fun venue for music.
Haha! That’s awesome! I’m a huge foodie myself and you just made me very hungry. 🙂 Thanks so much! I’ll be sure to introduce myself if I see you!
Joy, I just love you! You are such a funny, free spirit!!! I love your sense of humor – you truly make me laugh every time I watch your videos!!! I loved that song you wrote/sang … wanted to hear the end of it, tho!!! You may remember me … I was the one you spoke with over a year ago about your alumni book. So perceptive, you picked up on my sadness and immediately offered to pray for me. What a kind soul you are – and BTW God answered that prayer. : ) Thank you for being such a joy!!! From another Joy!!!
Hi Anonymous Joy! I hope you signed up for the newsletter that went out this morning because thats how you could see the whole video. Warning though, it’s painful. I was never cut out for the musical stage. (-:
Maybe one of these days I’ll post it somewhere online… And thank you so much for your kind words. I’m so happy we were able to chat and pray together.
I just love you! Sorry I don’t have anything to add to this, I just had to say how much I loved the song, and the banner even more at the end!
I will take comment love any day Kimberlee!
Your comments to Alex about his “if I ever date again” comment is right on the money. I said those words over 15 years ago and have only been on one date since, and that was over five years ago (it was a blind date and it went would’ve gone better if I was blind..just sayin’). There is a finality to those words that can trap a person in a selfish, self-doubt cycle leading to a life filled with regret and bitterness.
To Alex: Forgive yourself, forgive others, and use it all as a learning experience. Date again before you become too comfortable with your singleness to get out of it.
Joy, as always, you are awesome. Your message is wonderful and well thought out, your awkward ending cracked me up, and your uninhibited singing is….well it’s um…entertaining. Keep up the great work. 😀
Thank you Nathan! Your personal story is a powerful one. I was totally trying to cheer this guy up and encourage him, but I think the “dude” below disagreed. (-: I appreciate your encouragement.
Joy, how about starting a long series helping women become super awesome girlfriends and wives to their boyfriends and husbands, since the only time you write for men is in the context of making them better for women? Time to challenge women to become better for men!
Thanks Dude! Such kind and encouraging words. (p.s. I did do that series you’ve mentioned. I would guess you are just choosing to see this site through the lens you are choosing to see it through – which may be a wounded one. My gut says if you are dating or married to a woman with this kind of attitude towards women, it’s probably not going to go so well.) Cheers!
Evelyn thinks...
Love that you turned what could have just been more of an advice/informational video into one that really encourages. I shall be awaiting the arrival of the song in my inbox.
You could try this for a sign off http://youtu.be/MRZLxFOm_FY
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