First of all, I titled this post. I’m guessing Renea would never end a sentence with the word “at” or use a double question mark. She’s far too classy. I’ve asked Renea to write about her experience at a Love and Respect conference. Why? Because I urge all my friends to go to a conference, REGARDLESS of their status. And I think you should too. Yes, it’s entitled a “marriage” conference, but doctors don’t start performing surgery without going to med school, right? So, if …
I’ve had an interesting revelation lately. When I’m injured, I’m reminded I am single. Natural correlation, right? Injured tailbone, foot, and now shoulder. Back-to-back-to-back. Everything was bearable but enough pain to keep me from biking much at all this summer. And sitting? Couldn’t do much of that for a month. As I was walking to church in a sling a couple Sundays ago, I started thinking about how I want to remember this feeling of “not having any help.” Sure, I have tons of wonderful friends (thanks, …
Ask Joy How can we respond to young people who want to live together before marriage? I am referring to my son and other friends in their late 20’s. I am trying to be quiet and work with it but it is very awkward. What do you say to young people about this topic? Would you recommend any books or speakers? My Response I want to answer this question looking at your relationship with your son and the people we deal with personally. My heart …
Ask Joy A person who wrote in recently found a quote, stating that “a girl’s heart should be so wrapped up in the Lord, that a guy should have to seek Him to find her.” And then she asked me if I agreed with that? My Response Questions Do you think it’s true that you can experience an “intimacy” with the Lord that supercedes anything you can experience with a person? Why or why not? Have you said or heard this quote yourself? How has …
I am a loyalist…in friendships, relationships and, apparently, music. If anyone hears that Mary J. Blige will be on tour, 8th grade Joy will be there. My love for 90’s R&B aside, I have a band that I have listened to every album incessantly. I have attended five shows, and their band name, “Needtobreathe” comes up in my phone’s predictive text. That’s messed up. It all started one winter’s eve when some friends and I got free tickets to a show. One friend had heard of …
I’m heading to Nashville to hang out with hundreds of counselors next week, and I want to “bring” you with me… You’ll be able to participate in the enlightenment and discussion on our Facebook Page. I look forward to seeing you there. And just to clear up any confusion…this AACC is NOT: American Association of Cereal Chemists American Association of Clinical Chemistry American Association of Community Colleges American Association of Counting Crows American Association of Coughing Clowns American Association of Candid Cameras American Association of Claustrophobic Clams …
Ask Joy Is the right thing at the wrong time actually the wrong thing? My Response The video below was part of, what I affectionately call, my Paddle Board Series, shot spontaneously by my brother while I was in Michigan. Now, weeks after the shoot, I can’t shake this question; the more I contemplate it, the more different scenarios play out in my mind. Just a few that could fall under the “right thing, wrong time” umbrella include, the other person is: married; lives across …
Guys: Since we know there may be varying opinions due to different personalities, I thought it might be good to directly ask you this question so you could shed some light for our female readers. It’s along the lines of the question I answered a few weeks ago in an Ask Joy Video. (See video here: Part One & Part Two) Ask Joy I met an amazing man last month who I really like a lot! How do I let him know I’m interested in …
Ask Joy How do I know if I’ve heard from God before entering into a relationship? My Response (Note: We shot these very last minute before I left Michigan. We didn’t do a sound check hence the poor audio. However, my brother IS a fantastic videographer and I am so grateful for his help when I am home in the mitten state. Check out his site: Motivity Pictures) Questions Does waiting to hear from God ever paralyze you from making decisions? Do you even incorporate God …
Ask Joy I’ve been in a relationship with my best friend for over three years. Having others speak into our relationship is really important to me—but there’s just one problem: My sources of wise counsel disagree with each other! Half say I could do better, and the other half say that the uneasiness and uncertainty I’m feeling are because I have unrealistic expectations for relationships and men (which, I admit, I do have). How do I know which source of wise counsel is really the …
Ask Joy I finally decided to sign up for E-Harmony. It took a lot of courage. I want to know your thoughts on online match sites. I am still very apprehensive about the whole thing. P.S. I am a teacher, and our school mascot is the unicorn. My Response Question How can you bring community into your online dating experience, and not become isolated? Didn’t catch the series that I referenced about asking questions? Start HERE
Book Review: The Male Factor by Stephanie Dost As a young woman, I find that love is something that comes naturally to me. Check. Respect, on the other hand, is something I have to work on. Lucky for me, I work with mostly middle-aged men and have a close relationship with my dad, so I get to practice all the time. Recently, I decided to read a book by Shaunti Feldhahn called “The Male Factor: The Unwritten Rules, Misperceptions, and Secret Beliefs of Men in …
Ask Joy I have a friend who is currently dating someone who is not a Christ follower. She knows I disapprove and, because of this, I haven’t really talked to her in months because I don’t want to hear about their relationship. Am I wrong in not speaking to her? I don’t know how to be a friend without her thinking I’m OK with them dating. My Response It’s good that you are trying to figure out how to be her friend; however, not …
This summer I attended what I imagine business people calling a “power lunch.” I was invited by the core team of 4-Word women. All the other women were in their work attire, and I showed up with my bike helmet. Oops. One of the incredible women I met was Stephanie. Thanks to my helmet in tow, I found out she also loves to ride. We set out on our bikes one day after work and found ourselves in Camas, Washington breaking for dinner at the fantastic Twilight …
Ask Joy I met this guy and I have a big crush on him, but I know the Bible says that men are supposed to pursue women. So should I just give up on my crush? Should I just drop it? Who Pursues? Part 1 My Response I think that fear is at the root of why we deny our desire to pursue or be pursued. Question What has been your experience? Men: What prevents you from pursuing? Women: What motivates you to pursue?
The flower I brought you this morning. Alberta told me to keep it as a reminder of you. Dear June, I’m sitting in my office a little stunned thinking, “I should have gone to visit on Saturday or Sunday.” I know you wouldn’t want me to live in shame, but I do feel an overwhelming sadness at losing you so quickly. I will find your family so I can tell them how much you meant to me, but right now I want to write out …
Ask Joy I met this guy and I have a big crush on him, but I know the Bible says that men are supposed to pursue women. So should I just give up on my crush? Should I just drop it? My Response Well…scripture doesn’t say that. Question Men: Do you have a sense that women want to be pursued in our culture? Women: How do you feel about waiting to be pursued, not just in theory, but in reality? Watch Part Two
With my recent trip to Oxford, I have had C.S. Lewis on the brain. I want to continue the conversation inspired by his writings in Mere Christianity, and would love to hear your take on “the thrill.” Part II: The Thrill People get from books the idea that if you have married the right person you may expect to go on ‘being in love’ forever. As a result, when they find they are not, they think this proves they have made a mistake and are …
Since I just traveled to Oxford and spent time spying on C.S. Lewis’s home, college and almost every pub he dined in, I thought it only fitting that I highlight a couple parts from his chapter titled “Christian Marriage” in Mere Christianity. I suggest you read the whole chapter but I have noted a few of my own thoughts and would love to hear yours! Part I: On Love What we call ‘being in love’ is a glorious state, and, in several ways, good for …
How do I forgive people who have INTENTIONALLY hurt me? Made me suffer? How do I forgive evil? Will they get what they deserve? God will bring justice. Right? “Lord, help me to want to forgive.” This was the bold prayer of my friend who grew up with parents who were in a cult. They subjected her to every type of sexual and sadistic abuse you can think of. This friend came to mind during two lectures I heard during my recent trip to Oxford. …
This summer I had the privilege of going on vacation. While lying on a beach can be glorious, my idea of a fun vacation is one where I can learn, rest and explore. England had all of that…so I went. Oh, and did I mention that unicorns are everywhere? That’s really why I went. I first want to thank ALL of the Facebook and Twitter peeps who gave me great suggestions on what to see during my trip; it was a huge help. Below are a few …
First: This picture kills me. Partly because she looks like she just turned seven years old, and partly because my face is indicative of events that would follow 4.28 minutes later. This was taken the first week at a place in Switzerland called L’abri. Erin talked me into sledding down the side of an alp and 4.19 minutes later I thought it would be a good idea to sled…STANDING UP. 4.28 minutes later I had broken my ankle. Little did I know my photo face would …
Hi Friends, I mentioned earlier this week that my father, Emerson Eggerichs was in town recently and I had a couple post-RSOTU questions for him. He had barely finished grabbing his luggage from baggage claim, when I pulled out the camera and asked for his thoughts. He rolled with it; I think he’s getting used to me… The first topic I addressed was: “In relationship, HOW does a woman practically and tangibly show respect?” Today’s question: “What do you say to guys who get all …
Hi Friends, Many of you have written in questions asking about the topic of respect, so I did a series called the Respect State of The Union (better known as #RSOTU on Twitter). In that series of 15 videos, I answered 10 questions, and then talked with a group of guys about their thoughts on respect. Many of you enjoyed the series and my hope was that it started the ball rolling for us to talk about this touchy topic more. I personally had some …
Today you can see an interview I did with fellow Westmont alum, Paul Angone. He has launched a website to talk about his upcoming book, All Groan Up. In that book he discusses his post-college journey…aka, “now what?!” Paul has a heart to help 20-somethings talk about living in the “now what” and is doing so by covering a myriad of topics. One of topics is, relationships. I was honored to chat with him, and can only pray that the skype demons that froze Paul’s …
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