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Ask Joy In the last video I answered a question from a girl who was asking what book she and her fiance should read to prepare for marriage. They believe in mutual submission and love, and don’t agree with the husband being the head and the wife being submissive. And I totally relate with that stuff because those are the passages in scripture that leave me asking, “what in the world does this mean?!” What is this actually saying? My Response I don’t know. I …
Ask Joy My fiance and I are looking for books to read as we prepare for marriage. Do you know of anything that isn’t completely based on the man being the leader and the wife being submissive? We believe in mutual submission and love and it’s hard to find any good resources out there. My Response I really want to get at the heart of your question: what is mutual submission and why are these words in the Bible like the “husband is the head” …
Ask Joy: Could you share your thoughts on the increasing percentages of women involved in pornography? And by “involved,” I mean watching it. My Response: I am not an expert on this topic, but, as always, I have many personal theories based on what I have researched and studied from those who are experts. I can point you toward some healing discussions and resources based on my assumption that you believe pornography has a negative effect on our culture—for both men and women. If you …
Ask Joy: Recently, one of you wrote in – anonymously – asking what I want in a man. My Response: I was going to pass on this Ask Joy, and then thought, I might as well capitalize on my site and use it to find a man. Boo-ya. To watch the rest of my aforementioned e-Harmony video, click HERE. Question: What is your equivalent of my beard requirement? What’s been your shallowest deal breaker?
For those of you who ask what books I recommend, I have one I would like to highlight today. My mother’s close friend Marilyn Hontz has written an excellent book on the topic of shame. I want to be clear however: I am not promoting this book because she is my mother’s friend. I am telling you about the book because it is powerful. Through sharing stories of her childhood, Marilyn opens up about how certain small yet significant moments affected her adult life. She …
Paul is a friend from Westmont College. You may remember his face from a guest post I did with him a while back. We have a mutual love of Double Dare, Marc Summers and many other glorious staples of the 90’s. He has a great spin on “the one” topic that I wanted to share with you today. I also hope you will check out his site www.allgroanup.com for some great articles and resources on the topics many “post grads” face today. Paul has written …
Today I am guest posting over at my friend, Preston Yancey’s blog, as part of a series about “the beautiful, mangled Church.” He’s featuring over 50 amazing writers, so be sure to check out the entire conversation, which is entitled At the Lord’s Table. Enjoy! Church: Starring a Simple Cast I respect people who have intellectual reasons for walking away from the church. Not because I agree, but because I can empathize and grapple with questions, too. But then I dig deeper, and usually the …
Oh, hello! I’m just wafting the aroma of this soup I’ve been slaving over all day long. I’m so skilled at domestic chores, that my hand isn’t even burning right now as I hold this pot of soup. Welcome to my kitchen. My name is Holly. Holly Homemaker. Ask Joy: This question is from a 27 year old single male who deeply values the fact that his mom stayed home to raise him. He wants the same thing for his kids, but doesn’t want to …
If you are reading this on Valentine’s Day morning, then my guess is you are probably at work and avoiding the actual work that… AAAHHHHHHH! Your boss is standing right behind you! And you are reading something about making love! OK, so that was awkward. So now it’s noon, and you were so impressed with my psychic skills from earlier this morning that you are now in your car eating a PB&J (or Hot Pocket since you sometimes get crazy on holidays) and reading my …
Hello, and welcome to the Ask Joy fireside chat. Here we are with our blazing flames and just a few close friends. (Actually it’s just me and the camera man.) Ask Joy This question was written in response to a three part series I did on The Art of Asking Questions. This person wanted me to offer some tangible questions to actually ask. So I will do that, because that’s such a great question… My Response Question Do you have any effective question-asking tips you …
Recently I spoke at Belmont University and later that afternoon did an “Ask Joy” session with students. This is probably my favorite aspect of my job. I love hearing from you all through the site, but there’s something about seeing your face, hearing your questions, and then getting to respond to you with an answer that results in you lying on the floor in the fetal position. It’s the BEST! I heart my job and inflicting psychological damage on you all! But, seriously, there were …
To My Unmarried Friends: One of the ways I want you to know that I value you – my generation – is by inviting you to come to a live Love and Respect Conference. My mom always says that God made us male and female, not husband and wife. So even though this is a “marriage conference” you can learn so much about the opposite sex by attending. I want you to be there, and if you can make it, I’ll have a gift waiting …
Dearest Friends, Fawns and Christmas Elves, A little video announcement for the Christmas and New Year season. But first I wanted to write a special thanks to those of you who are continually encouraging me and my work. The movement of understanding Love and Respect cannot happen without us joining together and having belief and hope for successful marriages and relationships. Even with stories of heartache and “hope-less” situations, your stories of belief and encouragement are life-giving to me. So I just wanted to say… THANK YOU …
featuring Rick McKinley “A Kingdom Called Desire” Rick McKinley has been my pastor for the last six years. I greatly respect him, and love his family so much. He’s one of the most levelheaded Christians I know, and has spoken truth into my life over and over again – both from the pulpit and his office when I am having a crisis or two…or three…or four. I wanted to interview him about his most recent book, take you on a tour of Imago, highlight my …
I had always heard about this “Mike Foster” character but was finally Twitterduced through our mutual friend and creative mastermind, Jeff Shinabarger. Jeff had seen my video on fantasy and thought the message of grace I proposed was something Mike would be interested in checking out. Mike is a passionate, driven man and the co-founder of an organization called People Of The Second Chance (or “POTSC” in some remote regions). After a recent inspiring chat with Ashley from POTSC we decided the messages of Love …
Today you can read my “love story” in a guest post I did for my friend, Diane. Diane is the Director of Women’s Ministry for a local church here in Portland. She is also, among other things, a pastor’s wife, mother and beautiful writer. My mother and I solidified a bond of friendship with Diane and her daughter Elizabeth when we spoke at their church’s women’s retreat a couple summers ago. It was an honor, a blast and a lot of estrogen. My friend – who …
I made the mistake of asking my friend, Val to do a guest post for me. Why you ask? Because she is an incredible writer and chose to re-open my wounds to the world. Thanks, Val. OK, I am being slightly dramatic, but it was weird how quickly her writing took me back to that place of pain I was in when we met. I was however, comforted to see how in the midst of my brokenness, when I felt I had nothing to give, …
Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Introduction Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #1 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #2 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #3 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #4 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #5 Question My friend of the opposite sex is in a committed relationship now. Can we still be friends? My Response Questions Have you experienced this type of rare, special friendship? How can we gracefully transition the nature of our friendships through the various …
Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Introduction Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #1 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #2 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #3 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #4 Question My boyfriend (or girlfriend) has issues with me being friends with this particular person of the opposite sex. How should I handle it? My Response P.S. Here was yesterday’s Facebook preview for today’s post thanks to our video guy having too much time on his hands and too much …
Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Introduction Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #1 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #2 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #3 Caveat corner: Do not read my words below and use them as an excuse to open an unhealthy door you know you shouldn’t. In my work I’ve found that it’s often the people who need to be separated from their exes who are the ones finding all the excuses in the world to BE friends with their …
Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Introduction Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question # 1 Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question #2 Question If we are always hanging out together, will anyone else ever ask me out? My Response Last year I was flipping through the channels and landed on some show whose title is escaping me. My gut tells me it was The Tyra Banks Show. I know. I wish I couldn’t remember either. There were two “dating experts” being interviewed. I use dating …
After THIS video came out last week of my parents I decided to dig something up from the Love and Respect archives. The “Can Guys & Girls Be Friends” topic isn’t going anywhere – don’t worry! But I thought it might be fun to show you the very first video I ever did for Love & Respect, shot in 2008. And to think, Walter wasn’t even born yet! My heart and my mission are still the same. For those of you opting to improve your communication …
Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Introduction Can Guys & Girls Be Friends? Question # 1 Question My friend has feelings for me, but I don’t feel the same. Now what? My Response Let me preface my response by acknowledging that I responded to the first Friends Post with questions, and am doing it again here. You’re sick of thought-provoking lists, I KNOW. I promise this is the last time. The other posts are going to be full of free lottery tickets, Caribbean cruise giveaways, and …
We’ve all heard the question “can guys and girls be friends?” Can you? (If you missed the introduction to this series, start HERE.) There are four levels of friendship: 1. acquaintance 2. casual 3. close 4. intimate Not defining what type of friendship we are talking about is what has made the “can guys and girls be friends?” question so widely debated. All the possible scenarios can make you want to gouge out your eyeballs with a fork. You will have to figure out what …
Ask Joy: Can guys and girls be friends? My Response: Well, there are approximately one million ways I could answer this question, so let’s kick off a “Friends” series, shall we? Questions: Do you think there is an answer to this question? Has this been a question in your own life? How did you answer? Coming up in this series: I like Sally, she doesn’t like me. Can we be friends? Sally likes me, and I don’t like her. Can we be friends? We are …
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