Hey y’all.
I’m in the dirty, dirty south. I just participated in a lab at the Catalyst Conference today, together with the incredible Leonce and Bianca, who together I now refer to as Beyonce.
I just wanted to drop you a line and maybe help a few guys out. I’ve noticed an increase in the times I’ve gotten asked out, and it’s been entirely over text messaging or Facebook. Why? If a guy is lazy in the beginning of the relationship, there’s a pretty good chance there won’t be much improvement later on. So, Joy, if you could pass this out to the men out there and give them a heads up that this is NOT what girls typically like to see, it might turn on a few lightbulbs. Read more
You know those people you know, but you don’t know, but you kinda do know?
Sharaya is one of those people.
One day I was in Nashville meeting friends for lunch and as I walked in I thought, “I know that waitress! Kind of…“
Which always moves me to a mental jog of Facebook stalking: Read more
Josh was giving a lecture at the American Association of Christian Counselors, and I was sitting in the back with his wife, Christie, whom I had just met moments earlier. I remember she had on a really pretty turquoise necklace, and I wanted it. But I regained focus and continued to listen to Josh talk about his new book, God Attachment.
Post-lecture, the three of us had only a few moments together, but I can safely say we became friends. Read more
I’ve been dating a guy that I met on a dating site for 4 months now. I recently noticed he is still active on the site and is still signing in to check it daily.
I could not wait until tomorrow to show this to you.
I was overwhelmed by the 1300 of you who showed up on Friday night. For those of you who missed it, here is a highlight reel of the evening.
Hi, Joy!
If guys send you mixed signals, how do you ignore them and not read into them? Ooh, please publish a book soon! Make sure that the UK can get copies, too.
Cheers, babe.
Hey Friends, I am excited and honored to speak at Catalyst Atlanta in October. They have a set of interview questions for all of their speakers and I thought I would share them with you as a break from “relationship-talk” and let you in on wisdom I’ve learned from my dad and some of the other things I think about…like Hitler. 1. Who is someone that inspires you today to be a better leader? Hitler. Waaa? Yes. I don’t say that for shock value, but he …
Alece was the first person I became friends with on Twitter who I then actually met in person. So far it’s the closest thing I have experienced to online dating, and I was so nervous that I brought my friend Lindsay with me. Just to make sure that Alece wasn’t a serial killer.
Turns out, she wasn’t. Read more
So I have this friend Billy who does not believe in dating. He says there are no examples in the bible to give us grounds for modern dating, therefore what’s the point?
-Nate
Oh Billy, there are also no examples of eating ice cream in the bible, so what’s the point of going to Dairy Queen?
But seriously… Read more
I first heard Josh White speak more than five years ago when I attended a 6 AM Bible study he was leading. If Christianity worked on a gold-star system, …6 AM Bible studies should deserve at least 72 stars. Fast-forward a number of years, and Josh and his adorable family decide to plant a church called Door of Hope just six blocks from my house. Josh is not only a pastor, but he is also a recording artist, so the church is chock-full of people …
Hi, Joy!
Recently I was talking to this guy and everything was going well. We had planned a date and everything. Out of nowhere, he just disappeared and blocked me on Facebook. Can you give guys advice on that? They cannot just disappear. They have to tell the girl they are not into them. I don’t think this is even a godly reaction. He is not putting the other person’s feelings before his. Please post on Facebook because he is on the Love and Respect Now page.
—Annie
I had never met someone whose heart understands to the same degree the passion and responsibility I feel for my work until Rachel came into my life. From the minute we first chatted on the phone to the all-you-can-eat sushi buffets, our conversations have happened at high speeds, with intensity, lots of nodding, big eyes, and eventual howls of laughter. When our work (God, relationships, and money—oh my!) isn’t being discussed, you might overhear Rachel trying to convince me that Taylor Swift is a legitimate artist.
Working in a predominantly male environment, how do I not become a “mini-man” like many of my female co-workers?
-Carly
First off Carly, I want to say that you are adequate for the job, because you got the job.
Often we misinterpret others perceptions of us, based on our own insecurities.
Hannah and I have a long history of friendship. And by long history, I mean we’ve had a few hours of in-person face time. I was at Catalyst, and my friend Jeff said, “Hey, you need to meet my friend Hannah.” Jeff is either really good at knowing who will hit it off or just gifted at figuring out how to ditch me,
…but, whatever his motivation, it worked.
Hannah and I sat in a corner, literally almost eyeball to eyeball, and talked for about three hours straight. Her boyfriend stopped by our conversation when we apparently
I have been talking to a guy from a dating website for about two months, and we decided we are going to finally meet. We are a few hours away from each other. Should I be helping him pay for his expenses? Gas and hotel? Or should I expect him to pay for it and put forth some effort? He appreciates if we can share the cost.
—Fiora Read more
Last week Dr. Ken Canfield wrote a piece on fathers and daughters. As I mentioned in the intro, my own father and Dr. Ken Canfield have been friends for over two decades. They support, sharpen and respect one another greatly. So when my father read Ken’s article last week, reporting the top ten questions women wanted to ask their dads, my father responded with ways he believes women could ask the questions and be more effective in communicating their hearts to the men in their life.
Formal lunch has nothing to do with lunch or with wearing a tuxedo.
Huh?
I know, I realize it’s a weird title, but it’s what I have decided to call the monthly research project.
Why?
A number of years ago, I lived in a community called, L’Abri. It was a place where you lived in intentional community, worked half the day, and studied half the day.
I met Ken when I was in the third grade. (For a photo of me circa third grade, scroll to the bottom of this page: Mothership.) My father was doing his PhD discertation on fathering and served on the board for the National Center for Fathering, which was started by Ken. Oodles of years later, Ken worked for Love and Respect doing research. When I started doing my own research, Ken was my mentor, advocate and encourager. Read more
I think I learned a lesson from The Bachelorette. Yes, I hate to admit that, but I think I did. Don’t get me wrong. I think the show is ludicrous, and it often makes me want to dry heave. (See this post from two years ago to get my exact sentiments on The Bachelor.) I’ve always seen the last few episodes of each season with friends who are engrossed in the show, which I lovingly refer to as “The Case for Polygamy.” They get annoyed with my …
I first heard Josh Hoke sing at my friend Annie’s house show last year. He and Annie did a duet and I was like, “Oh hello magical voices.” A fellow Portland dweller, mid-west native and former pastor’s kid, Josh and I have a few things in common. I’d like to add “and we are both musically gifted” but apparently playing the upright bass in 7th & 8th grade doesn’t qualify me for that title. Pumped to have you hear this guy’s voice. Ladies, don’t stumble. “I …
Hello friendlings, Are you aware that it’s wedding season? I have a challenge for those of us attending weddings, and for those who are getting married this year. The Question: Why do you attend weddings? Is it because it’s the one place you can go and dance the YMCA and not be judged? Or is it the Chocolate fountain? (How can you not admire the chocolate fountain?) The challenge to myself and the other attendees this season is to be more committed to our friends who …
If you combined the articulation and factual knowledge of a news anchor, the sarcasm and one-liners of your old crotchety neighbor, and the sass of a thirteen year old female into one, you would get my friend Anna. And that was just my first impression of her when we met at age 18. She got up in front of our freshman leadership class and gave a presentation with no trace of nerves, or reserve, for that matter. I was like, “who is this girl?! I like her.”
Years later she’s still bringing her knowledge and sass to the world and to the web.
Please welcome, my friend Anna, to the Illumination Project.
So yeah, there’s this girl I know. She’s amazing, but whenever I think about asking her out, I start to think that she’s too good for me.
So my question for you is, can someone be too good for somebody else?
-Matt Read more
As I mentioned in yesterday’s post, I will be featuring people who I have asked to create something around illumination. I hope that through their pieces, you might have light-bulb moments of your own. Let’s begin… Todd is my neighbor and fellow bike rider. In fact, we went on a ride one day, and I asked him to pick the route after saying, “Don’t pick a ride that is going to make my legs too tired. I’m speaking tomorrow and don’t want my legs to …
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