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Recent Articles

4

Ask Joy: Trust Me

AJ Trust Me_screencap

Ask Joy

My father wrote a book called Love and Respect, based on Ephesians 5:33, which says, “Let each of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.”

Many women often ask me, “What does respect look like?” Many men say they don’t know how to articulate what respect looks like to them.  From personal experience, I’ve come to realize that many of us have really unhealthy ideas of what respecting a man or needing respect looks like. Read more

2

Illumination Guest: Jeff Manion – A Greenhouse for Growth

Photo Credit: Branden Harvey

When I was in college, my parents sold my childhood home (and all of my childhood dreams) when they moved to Grand Rapids, Michigan.  Though it’s only an hour away from where I grew up, the news still threw me for a loop. Read more

4

Ask Joy: Don’t Macaulay Culkin Your Parents

Photo Credit: Home Alone, Twentieth Century Fox, 1990.

Ask Joy

Hey Joy!

I’m having a hard time figuring out whether the “children obey your parents” verses apply to adult children as well. My parents feel I need to obey them until I am married, but I’m pretty sure God directed those verses at children who were still being reared. What’s your opinion? And if it’s true that I don’t need to obey my parents anymore, how do I proceed to have a good relationship with my parents?

Read more

13

This is Dignity – Bangladesh Day 4

sewingMetu

Today I visited a community that Food For the Hungry had a presence in for about ten years. In keeping with the development model FH works towards, they were able to leave this muslim and hindu community when their trainings allowed many of the members roles of leadership and entrepreneurship.  My realization on this trip is that when you sponsor a child, (like my little Fulmoti) you aren’t just sponsoring a child. You are sponsoring the impact of a community. Read more

1

Marriage, Baby Tinkles, and Mutual Love of Gold – Bangladesh Day 3

beautifulreshmi

So much of this country is in heart wrenching poverty from over population, caste system discrimination, health and economic ignorance. Pictures alone can make those of us who grew up with running water and more than three meals of rice a day- weep.  But what is blowing me away and why I want you all to listen closely is because over the last few days I’ve heard so many stories of entire communities that are pushing against social norms and deciding to do life differently. For themselves, but mostly for their children and children’s children. Read more

9

The Legend of Fulmoti & Joy – Bangladesh Day 2

130128_FH_332_web

I really can’t put into words how my soul was moved today.  As we piled into the van at 6:30am to drive two hours to our destination, I had a few things heavy on my mind and heart. I felt down and distracted and the Bangali landscape of polution and poverty deepened it all.

By the end of the day though, things had drastically changed. Read more

3

Power of Language – Bangladesh Day 1

Teenage women of the Outfall community

Nomo Shkar! (Hindu/Christian/Buddhist Greeting)

Here is a little bit of my story so far. Hopefully over the course of the next few days I will do justice at telling theirs… Read more

2

Karen’s Top 5 Albums of 2012

Photo Credit: Ashleigh Brooke

So, usually with these “Stuff I Like” posts, I share with you Stuff I Like.  But I’m going to get really revolutionary here and break all of my own self-imposed rules. Instead, I’m going to do a “Stuff I Like” post about “Stuff Somebody Else Likes.”

Today, I’m putting Karen, one of the amazing Love and Respect Now interns, front and center. She kind of embodies what you would imagine a Portland hipster to be, but she’s cooler, less pretentious, and doesn’t smell like patchouli.

Read more

6

Ask Joy: Leading On

AJ Leading On_screencap

Ask Joy

I’ve heard many questions and concerns surrounding the topic (or rather, fear) of leading someone on, or frustration at the feeling of being led on. Read more

10

Illumination Guests: Justin and Trisha Davis – What I Wish I Knew

Photo Credit: Lauren Dubinsky

When I used to direct my parent’s Love and Respect conferences, I would always hear the phrase, “If only I knew then, what I know now.” There is so much we can learn from hearing the stories and wisdom of those who have done marriage and relationships longer than us. Though everyone’s stories will be different, and while I don’t think there’s a formula to fit everyone’s definition of success, I believe we will all be the wiser for listening to what Trisha Davis has to say about her journey with Justin these first 17 years of marriage.

Read more

5

Don’t Be a Fool Like Me, in 2013

I told my friend I think it’s easier for me to be a Christian when I’m not around my family. For whatever reason, Christmas time usually has a few episodes where I find myself verbally reacting before thinking. I get fired up over differing opinions or if I feel misunderstood.

Minutes after my immature reaction I always think, “If I would have waited 24 hours before responding, I know I would have approached the situation much differently and I would have actually been heard instead of discounted because of my immature response…a response quite similar to my 17 year-old self.” Read more

4

2012 Sign-Off & Walter Update

AskJoy_SignOffScreencap

The holiday season is here, once again.  I don’t know about you, but I’ve been preparing for this and getting in the spirit of Christmas for months.  I’ve been slowly upping my caloric intake just so I can celebrate the birth of Jesus in gluttonous style.

But aside from announcing my celebratory eating habits, I wanted to let you know that I will be signing off until after the New Year. 

(Don’t cry.  I’ll be back, pinky swear.)  

Read more

5

Stuff I Like: Muslims

bangladesh

Hey Friendlings,

I haven’t done a “Stuff I Like” post in a long time and thought we were due for one. I know many of you have been laying awake at night thinking, “WHAT IN THE WORLD DOES THAT WOMAN LIKE?!?!??” Because I care about you getting some good REM and waking up refreshed, I thought I would share about something I like.

Muslims. 

Read more

10

Joy & Stephanie: Voices of Angels

JoyandSteph_Album

Hello Holiday Ho-Ho-Hotties!

There’s little I can say to introduce this video. Basically, we dedicated a day to shooting some Ask Joy videos and decided to shoot one extra little Christmas miracle for you. (If you’re involved on the LRN Facebook page, you’ve probably seen our love for the SNL characters, Garth and Kat, who are our musical inspiration.)

Read more

21

Ask Joy: Do I Like Him Enough?

Photo Credit: Lauren Dubinsky

Ask Joy

How do you decide if you like someone ENOUGH to start dating them?  My struggle is not so much with picking a quality guy, but more with overcoming my internal indecisiveness when it comes to dating people.  Read more

13

Illumination Guest: Becca Blevins – Quiet and Light

illumination-2-2

I blame Becca for being the final “testimony” that got me to go Gluten-Free. For all of you who think it’s the “invisible disease,” go talk with Becca. Some ridiculous life transformation, people! Sadly (or not sadly depending on the way you look at it), after six weeks of no gluten in zee ol’ body, I decided to incorporate it back into my diet to see if I was actually allergic/would explode. Thankfully, I did not.

I want to officially announce that I have now gone Gluten-Free-Free. Read more

28

Ask Joy: How Do I Know If She’s Interested?

Photo Credit: Lauren Dubinsky

Ask Joy

How do we (men) even know if they (women) are interested? Women never bring it up in our group of friends, so it makes it hard to tell. Read more

4

Illumination Guest: Diane Comer – Regarding Him

Photo Credit: Nate Grubbs

I love Diane. 

Can that be my intro? Read more

6

Hierarchy: Part 2

Photo Credit: Ashley Elizabeth Photography

Last week, we started talking about the word “hierarchy.” Let’s face it, the word just sounds big and domineering, not to mention I feel like I’m dislocating my jaw when I say it out loud.

But before we completely write it off, let’s remember where we left off in Part 1: most men, I’ve discovered, have an innate sense of responsibility when it comes to protecting women. And women, instead of getting offended or discouraged, could benefit from adapting to an attitude of gratitude toward the intentions of these good men.

Read more

35

Hierarchy: Part 1

Photo Credit: Ashely Elizabeth Photography

Hierarchy. 

This word immediately makes me envision a hairy man seated on a throne wearing red fur and a pinky ring. I also hear him saying in the voice of Brian Regan, “Bring me the head of a pig and a goblet of something cool and refreshing!”

So as you can imagine, when I saw that my father had a chapter in his book Love and Respect titled “Hierarchy,” I almost wet my pants.

Read more

8

Illumination Guest: Joshua Chang – Know Your Self-Worth

Josh Chang, "Know Your Self-Worth"

Do you want to get the Love and Respect Now magical unicorn crest tattooed on your bicep as much as I do? I thought so…

Josh Chang is the man behind that amazement.  A dear Portland friend, Josh and his wife, Amber, have poured into me through their time and servant hearts. For over two years, Amber edited all of my terrrrrible grammar in most of the things I wrote. (If you find an error, it’s because I didn’t send it to her… Also, she often deleted the million ellipses that I wanted to use…all…the…time…) Read more

29

Illumination Guest: Bianca Olthoff – It’s Just Coffee

Photo Credit: Sarah Oskay

I liked Bianca the first time I met her, but she blew me away when I recently spent more time at Catalyst watching her in her element. Getting to be interviewed by her as well as having the privilege of being on a panel with her and Mr. Leonce Crump was a blast and an incredible learning moment.

Read more

10

Ask Joy: ATB

Photo Credit: Live in the Moment Photography

This Ask Joy comes from a friend of mine who is a passionate leader and entrepreneur. She longs to be married as well as change the world. And I believe she will do both…

Ask Joy

How come when I say I have exciting news, I get like 50 texts asking if I am engaged? How do we get there, people?? I’ve been single for like 10 years!  Read more

4

Illumination Guest: Jon Acuff – My First Book

Photo Credit: Nate Grubbs

Jon is a writer, speaker, and fellow unicorn lover.

You read that correctly. 

I have heard Jon speak a few times and have even picked up a few speaking tips that he passed on to my friend Rachel…who in turn passed them on to me. (Hope that’s ok, Jon.) He was a main speaker last week at Catalyst and once again braided wisdom, humor, and magic into one talk.

Read more

15

Mending the Soul

Photo Credit: Branden Harvey

A few weeks ago, I attended an event on the topic of abuse. One hour before I left, I wrote down something that was weighing heavy on my heart as I thought about myself and the LRN community. This is what I wrote… Read more

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