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Recent Articles

5

Age Segregation in America and the Church

Age Segregation in America and the Church

Researchers at MIT have begun seeing noticeable trends in society that mimic the impact of racial segregation in our communities.  This Boston Globe article examines and discusses the scientific and historical side of what age segregation has been like in America.  Inspired by this, I decided to do a little video to share my thoughts, as well as share some things that defined me as a child and now as an adult.

Storybooks and Hot Sauce. Read more

8

More Questions to Ask Before You Get Married: Wisdom with Preschoolers

Questions to ask before you get married

Well, hello!

This last summer I did a series with a guy named Dr. Norm “Normie” Thiesen, and I asked him all sorts of questions about singleness, dating and marriage. In one episode I asked him, “What questions should a young couple ask an older couple before they get married?”

He gave two answers.

Then I asked y’all a similar question, and you gave me 33 answers. Read more

18

Did God Lie? When The One Walks Away

Did God lie? When the one walks away.

One of the most common phrases I’ve written in response to the Ask Joy emails I’ve received over the years is, “God is not trying to trick you.” I believe this old post–which I’ve updated for today–is an example of what triggers this type of question. But it also gets at the deeper issue we all need to face when we’re left wondering if we’ve misunderstood “God’s leading” in our life.

We may even wonder, “God, did you lie to me? Do you even care?”

Read more

13

Why L-O-V-E Spells T-I-M-E by Timothy Willard

Why L-O-V-E Spells T-I-M-E

This is the third time Mr. Timothy Willard has guest posted on the ol’ LRN site. He’s pretty much the male-Joy at this point, which is a title he’s been working toward for the past few years.  (Bows head to be Knighted.)

In reality, I keep asking him back because I know him, respect him and appreciate his wisdom as a married man who can shed light on an area that, well, I cannot.

Read more

6

Giving Relationship Advice: Your Story is Not Their Story

Giving Relationship Advice: Your Story is Not Their Story

It’s Chemistry Week! I recently found this video buried deeeeep down in the archive lair, and for whatever reason, I never shared it with y’all. Maybe it was because the rain was makin’ my hair look real “special” that day.

Not only do I share my thoughts on chemistry, but I go off on a rant about how people IN a relationship or marriage should and should not counsel others.

_______

Hey Joy, Read more

13

Is Chemistry Real? Laws of Attraction, Muumuus and Siblings

Is Chemistry Real? Laws of Attraction

Hey Joy,

There’s this woman I am attracted to, but after I kissed her I wasn’t feelin’ it at all anymore. Is chemistry outside of chemistry class real, or is it all in my head? Read more

6

He Shuts Me Down: How To Fight To Be an Ally with Your Guy

He Shuts Me Down: How to Fight To Be an Ally With Your Guy

Hey Joy,

My husband and I just heard the Love and Respect message. Now, whenever we get into conflict, he shuts me down by saying, “You’re being disrespectful.”

How am I supposed to bring something up to him if this is always his response to conflict?
Read more

2

So Worth Loving: Eryn Erickson’s Illumination

So Worth Loving: Eryn Erickson's Illumination

I’m sure Eryn hates being described as little, adorable and tiny, but all I can say is, I clench my jaw from cuteness-overload when I see her–similar to how I feel when I see a kitten. Judge as you will. But just because she has adorable fashion sense and is the size of something I could throw over my shoulder like a continental solider, she is a GIANT in the department of world changers. May some of her love, energy and enthusiasm to serve the unseen and the …

Read more

2

3 Eggerichs Hangout, One walks into a…

Three Eggerichs Hang Out

No, wait, let me start that over.

There’s a priest, a pastor and a rabbi…

Wait, no, this is how it goes. Read more

17

Why Am I Socially Awkward? How To Not Puke At Parties

Why am I Socially Awkward?

The people I know who are well-liked and have lots of friends are people who ask genuine questions of the people they meet. Sadly, some of us are a tad socially awkward and the thought of asking questions makes us want to hurl.

Read more

12

Unrequited Love: Advice on Loving Alone

Unrequited Love

Hey Joy,

There’s this guy that I’ve been watching for a number of years. (Creepy.) He’s really quality, but he’s also in a very serious relationship with someone. And the kicker? We have to work together every day.

What do I do? Read more

20

Robin Williams: The Art and Curse of The Observer

Robin Williams: The Art and Curse of the Observer

As a single woman in my thirties, my current M.O. is to go out with pretty much anyone at least once. A new-ish friend asked if I would go out with a guy she knew, and while he looked slightly older, I didn’t know he was a solid two decades my senior.

Taking a bite of my pizza, I heard him ask the age old question, “What’s your favorite movie?”

“Hook,” I said.

Surprised, he shot back the very question I was thinking, “How old are you?”

“30. And you?”

“50.” Read more

3

A Script for Marriage by Esther Fleece

A Script for Marriage

One day this woman will write a whole book about her life.  You have NO IDEA how crazy and intense her upbringing was–and you wouldn’t know that if you met her, because her past is not her focus.

She has every right to be angry at God and at this world, and yet she isn’t.

Read more

13

Love Conquers All…or Does It?

Love Conquers All... Or Does It?

Hi Friends!

Have you enjoyed this series with Normie Baby? (Another nickname that he doesn’t know I call him in my head.)

In the opening of this season finale you will hear how much of a nightmare I am after I’ve done too many videos in one day. I can barely complete a sentence.

AND THEN NORMIE MAKES ME VERY UNCOMFORTABLE WHEN HE FLIPS THE TABLES ON ME.  Read more

0

The Illumination Project: How’d It Go? Ginger Jokes and Wise Folks

The Illumination Project: How'd It Go?

Want some first-hand stories of people who have gone through The Illumination Project? I had so much fun reading the answers to the questions I asked Crista and Sydney. 

Who are Crista and Sydney, you ask?

First they were amazing interns for Love and Respect Now, and then my parents and I decided to keep them. I am so grateful for the energy and efficiency these two women bring to Love and Respect, but beyond all that they believe in the work whole-heartedly.

(Either that or they are really good liars.) Read more

27

Writer in Waiting: Update About My Book

Writer in Waiting: Update about my book

Hey Friends,

I wanted to tell you something.

If you have been part of the Love and Respect Now community for a while, you might remember a little over a year ago when I announced I was getting married. Then I said I was kidding, and told you I was having a baby. After making you adequately annoyed by my endless string of lies, I told you I had just signed a book contract, and then proceeded to dance around my cemetery to Disney tunes like a fool. Read more

5

Relevant Magazine & Podcast: Cameron Strang’s Illumination (+ Video Interview)

Cameron Strang Relevant Illumination

Cameron Strang started this magazine called Relevant.

And a podcast. (Which he’s foolishly let me on the last three weeks.)

And an online magazine–specifically the iPad edition–that will blow your mind.* Read more

1

Having a Lasting Marriage and Reaping What You Sow

Having a lasting marriage and reaping what you sow

Are you loving Normie as much as I am? 

In this episode we opened with us reliving the time I was trying to be HI-LAR-IOUS, and gave myself third degree burns.

And then things got real. Read more

2

Problem Solving 101: Plywood Presents (+ Audio Interview)

Plywood Presents

I am SO excited to speak at Plywood Presents in a couple weeks with my friend Jeff Shinabarger. Jeff is a connector and brings together people who are solving problems so they can encourage one another and continue to support each other in innovation. Sound amazing? It is and you should come.

Exceeeeept that it’s sold out this year.   Read more

3

What Red Flags Should I Look For? Tips for Relationships and Nascar

What Red Flags Should I Look For?

If nothing else, please just watch the first 25 seconds of this video. 0419

If you stay for longer, you’ll find out that red flags are not the only relationship flags on the table.

Say WHAT?!

Yes. Read more

29

You Make Me Brave by Annie Downs (+ Audio Interview)

You Make Me Brave

Hey y’all,

I can say that because today’s guest is from Nashville. Plus, I just love saying y’all.

IT MAKES SO MUCH SENSE, Y’ALL!!

Annie has a new book hot off the press. The words she’s written about me below are far too kind, but they will give you a feel of how her latest release will inspire you.

Also, since it’s just us here, I wanted to give you an update on something. Read more

8

2 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married

2 Questions to Ask Before You Get Married

Does this guy look new to you? Make sure you check out the first and second Tuesday with Normie. If you already know him, you can check out the next episode HERE.

_______

I’m not one for writing post with lists like, “5 Ways To Become a Broadway Singer.” Truly. I was honored to know that even Christianity Today noticed I’m not a big list-writer.  (They also called me a “Relationship Maven,” so obviously they didn’t call any of my exes as references.)

But the way things shook out in today’s chat with Dr. Norm Thiesen all boiled down to two great questions. Read more

14

Savior Complex, Anyone?

Savior Complex, Anyone?

Hey Joy,

I recently watched the video “Fear and the Tick-Tock of my Girlfriend’s Baby Clock,” where you mentioned not playing savior for the person you’re in a relationship with. I feel like I dropped the ball on this one with my first girlfriend, because when we broke up she told me I was smothering her. If I ever date again, how do I find the balance of being best boyfriend without playing savior in the relationship? Read more

9

Not Ready to Commit (And Other Stories From a Tomb Raider)

Not ready to commit

Hi-ya friends!

Summer-fun discussion got going as people weighed in on THIS video I posted recently. A few (good) men said that maybe the guy didn’t want to be “official” because he was scared or had past wounds.

So this new video explains what I would say to a guy who is trying to be honest and say he needs time and isn’t ready to commit. Read more

3

Is Love a Feeling? Balancing Butterflies by Andrea Lucado

Is Love A Feeling? Balancing Butterflies

Andrea Lucado and I connected a few years ago in Nashville, after Rachel Cruze (Dave Ramsey‘s daughter) gave me the idea of connecting with other “daughters.” If you don’t know who Andrea’s father is, he’s written a few books (and by “few” I mean, like, 100).

What connected us was our author-pops*, but what solidified our meeting was smoked sausage. Read more

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